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your life will not be complete because you have an alleged boyfriend at the old age of 19
read some threads here on c-d where some women are having emotional breakdowns due to "boyfriends"
Can't stop laughing at how accurate this is.
OP: Oh, honey, I'm almost 19 and I'm single, too. C'est la vie. Go out and enjoy your life. Honestly, you need to put yourself out there. Try being happy on your own, he will come eventually. You got a long way to go, trust me.
Does anyone else feel this way? Am I normal for thinking this way? Am I wrong to want this? Is there hope for me?
Yes. Lots. I think you're normal (maybe a bit paranoid, but I understand). I don't think it is wrong for you to want this. You're only 19! Of course there's hope for you! Look, if I can find someone (well, the relationship has its troubles like any, but I'm not giving up if he isn't) I'm sure you can. You sound a lot more normal than me (but then what is normal), but I've lived a very isolated life and I'm excessively picky about who the other person is. I'm also older than you, so for a while it seemed like I was right (still might be). I'm sure you'll do fine.
I feel like this too sometimes You know what I do? I suck it up and focus on my career. More time focusing on my career and hobbies means less time focusing on future hubby. You're young, focus on something else or go meet someone.
Anyways I'm a 19 year old female. I've never experienced being in love, or have been in any relationship for that matter. I know I'm young, but I keep worrying about this. I just feel so lonely.
When I listen to songs like "Show me the meaning of being lonely" and "Dear Mr. No One" I always cry. My biggest fear is dying alone and un-loved.
When I watch romance movies I always cry. I have no one to cry on. I just cry by myself.
I think to myself, why can't I have that???
When I'm in my bed I pretend there's a guy cuddling me and we're so happy together. Just because I want that so bad.
I know that you don't need to be in love with someone else to be happy. But I know that is what I want. I've always wanted that.
I know it's so cliche, but I really just want to cuddle and hug with someone under a warm blanket and tell jokes. I want that person I know I can trust with anything, and tell them everything about me. Someone to kiss my forehead and hold my hand and make me smile by doing even the simplest things.
Does anyone else feel this way? Am I normal for thinking this way? Am I wrong to want this? Is there hope for me?
Totally normal. I cry when I listen to The Backstreet Boys also. But don't worry. There's a good chance you'll meet someone in the coming years. Not everyone finds love by 19.
Yes, but those people have issues. They need counseling.
OP needs a therapist, and start working on her problems. She needs to feel better about herself before getting into relationship.
Are you in school? Are you working towards a career? Do you have things you're passionate about, causes, hobbies, talents? You're at an age when you should be developing yourself, so that you have something to say for yourself other than "I'm lonely". You need to build yourself a life. That's the cornerstone of relationship-worthiness. That, and basic sanity and emotional stability, which I assume you already have.
And yes, you're normal, and you're far from alone. Contrary to popular belief, there are many 19-year-olds in your situation. Try different clubs, if you don't click with anyone in the one you're in. Try volunteering in environmental orgs, film festivals, street fairs, whatever. Push yourself to circulate, and meet people.
Well I have depression, so it's just making me feel bad and hopeless in general. I have no energy and no motivation to do anything. It's a horrible way to live, and I know I can't live the rest of my life like this. I'm desperate to feel better. I'm so embarrassed to admit this. I want to be happy and normal, but I'm not. I'm getting therapy, but honestly my psychologist sucks. I've been seeing her since October and I don't know what to do, I haven't improved.
The main reason I want a boyfriend is because I want us to help motivate each other and improve our lives together. Seriously, I know that's lame, but I don't care. My life is kind of a mess right now and if I had a boyfriend I would always strive to be the best version of myself. We could help each other achieve our goals.
Well I have depression, so it's just making me feel bad and hopeless in general. I have no energy and no motivation to do anything. It's a horrible way to live, and I know I can't live the rest of my life like this. I'm desperate to feel better. I'm so embarrassed to admit this. I want to be happy and normal, but I'm not. I'm getting therapy, but honestly my psychologist sucks. I've been seeing her since October and I don't know what to do, I haven't improved.
The main reason I want a boyfriend is because I want us to help motivate each other and improve our lives together. Seriously, I know that's lame, but I don't care. My life is kind of a mess right now and if I had a boyfriend I would always strive to be the best version of myself. We could help each other achieve our goals.
Well thing is, if you're depressed, chances are it can show. You have to work on being the best so you will attract quality guys. Good men want good women. Someone depressed and clingy would be a huge turn off, so even if you had a boyfriend, you'd end up driving him crazy and chasing him away because it seems you're heading toward codependency where you would need him to make you happy and constantly validate you.
Seems I was correct. You send alot of nude pictures thinking it means you're hot and guys will love you for it. Guys won't be picky. Just because a guy wants naked pix, or even sex from you don't make you special. If anything he would get that stuff from you for his own benefit not because he thinks you're so special. He'd just be getting his ego stroked that a girl is so stuck on or hot for him that she gives him free nude pictures and/or sex.
A girl I know is in law school and has been sleeping with a guy for 2 years. And he treats her like dirt. Ignores her for days on end sometimes, snubs her and made clear he only wanted sex and her body, not her. So he finds her good in bed and hot, but that hasn't made him love her. In fact he's been sleeping with other girls, while he ignores her. And she gets sad and angry because she has feelings for him, and wants to be monogamous with him and for him to see her as special, but he won't stay away from other women for her. She started off as his mistress while he had a girlfriend for 5 years. That hot sex didn't make him leave his girlfriend. And only reason he's not with his girlfriend now is because she dumped him.
So you really should focus on yourself and avoid guys at all costs for now, because you seem to have the mental distress that would lead to a man using you because he knows you have depression issues and possible low self-esteem. Predators go for shy, awkward or depressed girls.
I know how you feel. At 19 I went through depression too, and it sucked. I was not popular in school, and used to say the same thing, that I wanted tons of guys to be all over me, and for players to like me. And only had around 2 friends. Neither of whom I am talking to anymore. So, not trying to sound arrogant. I just know where you're coming from.
You really need to find something. Anything productive that you can do by youself that doesn't involve a boyfriend. Focus on improving yourself. Trust me, as you start to improve and get your life together, your confidence can go up because you are getting things done and growing into an independent person. And then you can recognize your worth and know you have many things to offer and bring to a relationship. Nobody wants a partner that has no life outside of them. Nothing to say, talk about, or do. You have to be your own person 1st.
Work on self-improvement. It may sound like malarkey, but it can help. I am doing that now, and I already feel a bit better. But things will take a good bit of time though lol
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You know what I do? I suck it up and focus on my career. More time focusing on my career and hobbies means less time focusing on future hubby. You're young, focus on something else or go meet someone.
