Childfree Marriage or Childen Family Marriage? (child, professional, people, best)
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I'm sorry but this is a really, really stupid question. You don't have children to make a marriage better and you don't not have children to make a marriage better. You either want children or you don't. A child free marriage is better for a couple that doesn't want children and a marriage with children is better for a couple that wants children.
Quote:
Originally Posted by VanillaChocolate
Agreed with this, a silly questions. It boils down to if someone wants kids or not. There's no definite answer. It will vary depending.
For me personally, a child-free marriage is great, as I don't care for children or the 22+ years of responsibilty of any. lol
Quote:
Originally Posted by yankeegirl313
All depends on the couple.
I hope to shout that they consider the changes that happen when having kids!!
agreed. if you want to be married, and want children, then go for it. if you dont want children, then dont have any. marriage is about two people wanting to be together in a monogamous relationship that is licensed by the government and/or the church.
I have always heard the "only stupid question is the one unasked." and I really do not care for the word "stupid" in reference to what a person posts/thinks/says.
With that said, I think that before two people get seriously involved with one another, that is a very important subject to discuss. One person may really have a desire to have children and the other not want any. Unless one of them changes their mind then it is probably a good idea to find someone else who feels the same way about having kids.
(And I am on here because I have the desire to try and help people--not because I am bored.)
That's good for you, but at a certain point you will realize that few of the people in here actually take the advice they are given.
I'd venture to say that the early days of child rearing can stress a marriage, if anything........
I believe studies have been done which demonstrate that marital satisfaction dips and remains low throughout the child-rearing years even among couples who wanted to have children. For couples with children the data indicates that marital satisfaction is at its highest before the first child is born and after the last one leaves the nest.
Subsequently I would lean to the conclusion that childfree marriages are better than childed marriages due to consistently higher satisfaction and as Chowhound so succinctly said, lower stress.
I believe studies have been done which demonstrate that marital satisfaction dips and remains low throughout the child-rearing years even among couples who wanted to have children. For couples with children the data indicates that marital satisfaction is at its highest before the first child is born and after the last one leaves the nest.
Subsequently I would lean to the conclusion that childfree marriages are better than childed marriages due to consistently higher satisfaction and as Chowhound so succinctly said, lower stress.
This is a quote from the first article which is also mentioned in the second article.
"There are different types of happiness in life and that while some luster may be off marital happiness for at least a time during this period of life, there is a whole dimension of family happiness and contentment based on the family that couples are building," he said. "This type of happiness can be powerful and positive but it has not been the focus of research."
A couple that really wants children will probably not be happier if they refrain from having children simply because of some articles. And if the articles had come to the reverse conclusion - I doubt that a couple that doesn't want children would be happier if they had children just because it's supposed to make them happier.
The human race is going to keep propagating, and children tend to be better off in two-parent households. Childfree people feel happier because they don't have the expense and stress from having kids? Okay. But so what? Is everybody going to stop having babies? No. Are people who really wanted kids going to change their minds? Doubtful. They'll just muddle through like everybody else. Are people on the fence going to be swayed by outside influence? Possibly. Are people who don't want children going to have some because someone told them they'd have a happier marriage for it? Gosh I hope not.
A marriage is better when the two people in it are committed to one another and committed to working through problems and accepting another person where he/she is. Children are a different topic. They don't usually make or break a marriage, but they do add stress and they often add to whatever's already there. If it's a bad marriage, it'll get worse by adding children. If it's a good marriage, it can get better by adding children (better, but still with stress.... good marriages can often deal with stress effectively).
If you have a child with significant disabilities or health concerns or mental health issues, that can break even a strong marriage.
So I'll stand by my original thought. A marriage is about the two people in it, not about who they add or don't add to the configuration.
I believe studies have been done which demonstrate that marital satisfaction dips and remains low throughout the child-rearing years even among couples who wanted to have children. For couples with children the data indicates that marital satisfaction is at its highest before the first child is born and after the last one leaves the nest.
Subsequently I would lean to the conclusion that childfree marriages are better than childed marriages due to consistently higher satisfaction and as Chowhound so succinctly said, lower stress.
I think this supports the childless marriage perspective.
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