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Tinder is only a hookup app if you choose to use it that way. It was not unreasonable for the OP to expect to find women on Tinder who weren't looking for hookups.
It doesn't matter how the OP chooses to use it. The point is that it has a reputation for being a hookup app. When it comes to online dating, a site's reputation heavily influences who joins and who doesn't. I would never waste time looking for a serious relationship on Tinder because I know that most people who are looking for one are probably not on Tinder.
A two-dimensional, often posed photograph vs. a three-dimensional person you can observe? They're not even close.
Totally agree. If I had met my boyfriend on OLD, I don't know if I would have proceeded. Don't get me wrong; he's cute, but he is very formal over texting and the phone, especially when we first met. I don't think I would have gotten a good sense of who he was if I hadn't met him in person, and I might not have ever met him at all.
OLD favors women over men because of men's nature. Women get guy spammed so they get inflated egos. If I was getting 20 messages a day from women my ego would probably get huge too. Men's messages get lost in the sea of guy spam so its hard to make any connections.
Last edited by Montanaguy04; 03-16-2015 at 12:24 PM..
That's unusual, I think. I would never have written the last person I dated based on just her photos, they don't represent her well. I may have on her profile, but it was too scant.
When I saw her in person she showed much better and had an energy and facial/body dynamics that were very attractive, and we spoke.
Pictures aren't very telling, in general. That is why so many people complain about them.
I don't expect every photo to be great, but they shouldn't be awful and I need to find him attractive on at least two of them. I haven't really had any surprises when I met people in person, so the photos were accurate.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar
I don't expect every photo to be great, but they shouldn't be awful and I need to find him attractive on at least two of them. I haven't really had any surprises when I met people in person, so the photos were accurate.
Well, that's the thing. Attraction, or a person being attractive, isn't about two or even three dimension looks for most people. It is about how they carry themselves, how they move and communicate, their energy and charisma. I think most guys who are into ranking picks on here would say the last person I dated was a 4 or 5, but her results are far far higher than that because of her gregariousness and her charisma (etc) (she doesn't do OLD and she I would think, because of that, would doe much better in person anyway). That is the downside of OLD.
Well, that's the thing. Attraction, or a person being attractive, isn't about two or even three dimension looks for most people. It is about how they carry themselves, how they move and communicate, their energy and charisma. I think most guys who are into ranking picks on here would say the last person I dated was a 4 or 5, but her results are far far higher than that because of her gregariousness and her charisma (etc) (she doesn't do OLD and she I would think, because of that, would doe much better in person anyway). That is the downside of OLD.
Not saying it couldn't happen, but I've yet to meet anyone from OLD who I became more or less attracted to based on those things you mentioned. The guys who were really attractive in photos were really attractive in person. The guys who were just ok in photos were just ok in person.
Very challenging depending on what you're looking for. It's easy to find an LTR there or a quick one time hookup, but not very easy at all if you're looking for a monogamous long term FWB. I had to search a long time to find my FWB.
Very challenging depending on what you're looking for. It's easy to find an LTR there or a quick one time hookup, but not very easy at all if you're looking for a monogamous long term FWB. I had to search a long time to find my FWB.
Overall, I've had little luck with Tinder. Everyone I went out with was able to maintain a conversation and looked like his pictures. Most of them were very nice. One was very negative. One was completely inappropriate. And one who I really hit it off with ended up being an absolute nightmare and he continues to resurface occasionally. My experiences with meeting men in normal, every day life, though much fewer and far between, have been more successful. Still, I wouldn't write off Tinder completely; I just have little hope for it. But I know others who've done well.
OLD favors women over men because of men's nature. Women get guy spammed so they get inflated egos. If I was getting 20 messages a day from women my ego would probably get huge too. Men's messages get lost in the sea of guy spam so its hard to make any connections.
I think on the free sites some women get even more than 20 messages a day especially in a decent sized metro. That's why I think a paid site is better for a man but what's annoying is you don't know if the women you are emailing are paying subscribers or not. I always said on the free sites that men should be limited to how many messages they can send a day, to reduce spam and copy/pasting. When you factor in the ratio of men to women you basically have about a 3:1 ratio and then factor in the spam you have 1,000 men bombarding a little over 300 women with emails.
I've never used Tinder it's pretty new in the world of OLD really but I admit I'm curious about it. It certainly can't be any worse than Plenty of Flakes, which is my vote for the all time worst dating site for a man.
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