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Old 03-18-2015, 02:24 PM
 
189 posts, read 296,712 times
Reputation: 55

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A few extra notes....When she started first hinting that it was over I said to her it had to be one of 3 things. Either you aren't attracted to my looks, my personality or you met someone else. She said she was attracted to me, liked my personality and would never disrespect me and go for someone else. She said 100% of her attention was always on me.
Being that her only "friends" are her aunt and uncle I just find it weird that you'd get rid of your boyfriend if you didn't have someone else waiting in the wings. Before I met her she said her weekends consisted of watching tv with her aunt and uncle. Would she really rather be all alone rather than have me as her boyfriend?
Also at the going on break dinner she said she wants me to fight for her. Weird thing for her to say if she knew she was going to be dumping me.
The day before she dumped me she said she was thinking of going on birth control. I figured she meant for us. I told that's great- it'll be more fun. Kind of weird to tell me that when she knew at that point she was getting rid of me.
She also she joined my gym (which is half hour from her house) so we could work out together a week before dumping me. Another strange thing to do.
Her last text message to me was we're done, its over, this relationship is not for me. So all week I've been doing no contact. Would it be out of line to wait 6-12 months from now and just send a text to see how she's doing? At that point she may have realized she made a mistake. I know she had a less than ideal past but I would really want a second chance.
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Old 03-18-2015, 02:36 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,632,754 times
Reputation: 98359
Quote:
Originally Posted by bjr918 View Post
A few extra notes....When she started first hinting that it was over I said to her it had to be one of 3 things. Either you aren't attracted to my looks, my personality or you met someone else.
WHY would you say that??? You have a lot of nerve, telling her why she doesn't like you.

There could be any number of reasons she doesn't want to continue. And the more you write, the more reasons I see.
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Old 03-18-2015, 02:45 PM
 
4,828 posts, read 4,264,627 times
Reputation: 4766
Quote:
Originally Posted by bjr918 View Post
A few extra notes....When she started first hinting that it was over I said to her it had to be one of 3 things. Either you aren't attracted to my looks, my personality or you met someone else. She said she was attracted to me, liked my personality and would never disrespect me and go for someone else. She said 100% of her attention was always on me.
Being that her only "friends" are her aunt and uncle I just find it weird that you'd get rid of your boyfriend if you didn't have someone else waiting in the wings. Before I met her she said her weekends consisted of watching tv with her aunt and uncle. Would she really rather be all alone rather than have me as her boyfriend?
Also at the going on break dinner she said she wants me to fight for her. Weird thing for her to say if she knew she was going to be dumping me.
The day before she dumped me she said she was thinking of going on birth control. I figured she meant for us. I told that's great- it'll be more fun. Kind of weird to tell me that when she knew at that point she was getting rid of me.
She also she joined my gym (which is half hour from her house) so we could work out together a week before dumping me. Another strange thing to do.
Her last text message to me was we're done, its over, this relationship is not for me. So all week I've been doing no contact. Would it be out of line to wait 6-12 months from now and just send a text to see how she's doing? At that point she may have realized she made a mistake. I know she had a less than ideal past but I would really want a second chance.
Sounds like she got ahead of herself and wasn't pacing herself accordingly. Once she found some time to herself to think, she realized she was way over her head. This happens for men and for women. Everything is cool and the gang when you're spending time together, but it's the time when you're not when you have time to sit back and reflect.

Just chalk it up as neither of you cared to mention to pump the brakes along the way and truly had a whirlwind romance. The downside of whirlwind romances is the wind settles and the relationship falters. Nothing you can really do but live and learn.
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Old 03-18-2015, 02:51 PM
 
189 posts, read 296,712 times
Reputation: 55
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
WHY would you say that??? You have a lot of nerve, telling her why she doesn't like you.

There could be any number of reasons she doesn't want to continue. And the more you write, the more reasons I see.
You're right. It could have been a number of reasons. She said I've been the perfect boyfriend but I still get dumped. I was just trying to find out why. I was extremely curious to know why although unfortunately I'll never know.
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Old 03-18-2015, 02:54 PM
 
Location: Middle America
37,409 posts, read 53,314,997 times
Reputation: 53066
Quote:
Originally Posted by bjr918 View Post
I think you misunderstood. 3-4 weeks before she dumped me I had to decide what to do about the Florida vacation. I ended up visiting my parents by myself. I told her not to worry I will take her on a long cruise a few months from now. She said she wasn't mad about that when I asked her at the "break up" dinner.
Wait...you said that the cost of airfare and staying with her in a hotel for the Florida visit was too steep, an extra thousand dollars, so you went alone, but you planned to do a cruise with her to make it up to her? I'm assuming the cruise would cost more than the grand...
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Old 03-18-2015, 02:56 PM
 
Location: In the bee-loud glade
5,573 posts, read 3,326,109 times
Reputation: 12295
Quote:
Originally Posted by bjr918 View Post
You're right. It could have been a number of reasons. She said I've been the perfect boyfriend but I still get dumped. I was just trying to find out why. I was extremely curious to know why although unfortunately I'll never know.
I'm someone who doesn't want to know why. I fully understand that drive for an "answer", but I see those types of answers as pretty useless. The person may say what he or she thinks you want to hear. The person may rip you a new one, which while fun to endure, won't likely help you in the next relationship.

To me, there's likely nothing to learn, and closure is something I do for myself.

I know you have to work this out for yourself, but right now you seem to be in a hole pulling dirt in on top of yourself.

Last edited by homina12; 03-18-2015 at 03:15 PM..
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Old 03-18-2015, 03:14 PM
 
189 posts, read 296,712 times
Reputation: 55
Quote:
Originally Posted by TabulaRasa View Post
Wait...you said that the cost of airfare and staying with her in a hotel for the Florida visit was too steep, an extra thousand dollars, so you went alone, but you planned to do a cruise with her to make it up to her? I'm assuming the cruise would cost more than the grand...
well Yea I get 4 week long vacations a year from my job so I told her even though you won't be coming on the vacation to Florida we'll go on 3 better vacations later on this year. In hindsight I should have just coughed up the extra $1,000+ but who knows if it would have made any kind of a difference
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