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Old 03-18-2015, 11:05 AM
 
79 posts, read 62,934 times
Reputation: 52

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I'm not sure why it is, but EVERY guy I'm into, is not into me. And then every guy who is into me, I'm not into them.

Since I've been single, I've found it hard to open up completely to guys because of my past disastrous relationships and the fact that when I actually do open up, it doesn't work out.

So a few weeks ago, a couple of my girlfriends told me they wanted me to meet their friend B. B is about a year and a half younger than me (And I've never really been into dating guys younger than me) but they swore he was very mature for his age and a great guy. We were both invited to my one of my friend's birthday gathering, so I knew I would meet him there.

Before the birthday gathering, him and I matched up on Tinder. I was able to talk to him and we chatted for while about where we are from, what we do, etc. I was definitely excited to meet him.

On the day of the birthday celebration (we were also participating in a St. Patty's Day bar crawl), we all went over to B's place to have a few drinks before we went out for the bar crawl. I will admit I was a little uncomfortable and shy, since I was surrounded by a bunch of people he knew. It wasn't exactly an ideal place to first meet someone. But he walked right up to me in front of everyone, put his arm around me and introduced himself. We chatted a little bit, then we all left to go to join the bar crawl.

We got separted but we all eventually met up at the same bar. There, he asked to buy me a drink, took my hand and lead me to the bar. He didn't let go of my hand the whole time. When we got our drinks, I was leaning with my back against the bar and he had his arms around me and we talked for a while. Then we went back over to where our friends were and he was dancing and talking to me in front of everyone. And then he leaned in a kissed me. My girlfriends and I ended up leaving, and we didn't meet back up with him for the rest of the night. I did get his number from my girlfriend and I saw that he had texted me, but my phone died before I could respond. And then I left it at the bar.

So the next morning I messaged him on FB to tell him that I had left my phone at the bar and that was why I didn't respond. We chatted some more and he told me he was going to meet back up with us, but my friend stopped responding.

The rest of the day went by and all of Monday and I heard nothing.

So yesterday, I knew that he had played his first softball game of the season, so I texted him to ask how it went. He just told me they lost with a sad face, nothing else. I got a little upset because I felt so confused by how he acted in front of everyone on Saturday, but really wasn't getting a lot from him since.

Then this morning I woke up and saw that he had "liked" my status about my team winning from last night and "liked" that I was going to an even in my city. Then he said he was going as well.

So I decided that I was just going to flat out ask him to hang out this weekend and if he said no, then that was that. I hate playing games so I'm not going to assume that me texting him shows I'm interested or whatever.

And I haven't received a response. But I have seen that he's been on Facebook. So I'm going to assume that he has seen my text and that is going to be the end of it.

But I guess I just don't understand guys at all. Even my girlfriends are really confused about how he was acting, compared to how he is now. I get being busy, but I would assume that if someone texted me about hanging out that I really wanted to go out with, I wouldn't wait to text them back.
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Old 03-18-2015, 11:12 AM
 
Location: On the corner of Grey Street
6,126 posts, read 10,079,153 times
Reputation: 11796
Was he drinking a lot when he was being so touchy feely?
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Old 03-18-2015, 11:15 AM
 
Location: Philadelphia, PA
545 posts, read 629,787 times
Reputation: 376
That guy is a player and he is either keeping you on low simmer either to be nice, wait until you make more of it, or until he decides you're his front runner for the moment.
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Old 03-18-2015, 11:17 AM
 
3,852 posts, read 4,133,818 times
Reputation: 7866
Hot and cold. Sounds about right. Maybe he's just not that into you after all, or maybe he's just doing that silly "playing it cool" thing that some guys seem to think is necessary. How old are you guys?
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Old 03-18-2015, 11:18 AM
 
Location: In a place beyond human comprehension
8,919 posts, read 7,677,654 times
Reputation: 16655
1. I think you're blowing things a LITTLE out of proportion.

2. You did just meet the guy.

3. Don't look so far into Facebook and other social media. Doesn't really mean anything.

You're not going to get into a relationship right off the bat. Things like that take a LOT of time to build so you need to relax and relinquish your expectations. You can keep your standards but keep your expectations to a minimum. That is where most people mess up. I understand your frustration about liking men who aren't into you and men you aren't interested in taking an interest in you. It sucks but that's how it is sometimes.

I recommend taking a break.
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Old 03-18-2015, 11:28 AM
 
79 posts, read 62,934 times
Reputation: 52
Quote:
Originally Posted by CapsChick View Post
Hot and cold. Sounds about right. Maybe he's just not that into you after all, or maybe he's just doing that silly "playing it cool" thing that some guys seem to think is necessary. How old are you guys?
He is 25 and I am 27.
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Old 03-18-2015, 11:29 AM
 
Location: NYC
5,184 posts, read 4,636,126 times
Reputation: 7931
He sounds very aggressive which doesn't indicate whether he is really interested or not.
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Old 03-18-2015, 11:29 AM
 
79 posts, read 62,934 times
Reputation: 52
Quote:
Originally Posted by Auraliea View Post
1. I think you're blowing things a LITTLE out of proportion.

2. You did just meet the guy.

3. Don't look so far into Facebook and other social media. Doesn't really mean anything.

You're not going to get into a relationship right off the bat. Things like that take a LOT of time to build so you need to relax and relinquish your expectations. You can keep your standards but keep your expectations to a minimum. That is where most people mess up. I understand your frustration about liking men who aren't into you and men you aren't interested in taking an interest in you. It sucks but that's how it is sometimes.

I recommend taking a break.
I know I am probably being dramatic. And I agree with you. You just know how it is when you're just so frustrated with something
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Old 03-18-2015, 11:30 AM
 
Location: Hartford CT
1,883 posts, read 2,514,377 times
Reputation: 3408
Quote:
Originally Posted by Auraliea View Post
1. I think you're blowing things a LITTLE out of proportion.

2. You did just meet the guy.

3. Don't look so far into Facebook and other social media. Doesn't really mean anything.

You're not going to get into a relationship right off the bat. Things like that take a LOT of time to build so you need to relax and relinquish your expectations. You can keep your standards but keep your expectations to a minimum. That is where most people mess up. I understand your frustration about liking men who aren't into you and men you aren't interested in taking an interest in you. It sucks but that's how it is sometimes.

I recommend taking a break.

The bolded part is so true. Just speaking for myself personally, I like tons of things on Facebook by different women on my page, including their face pictures. Means absolutely nothing, other than it's a nice picture, or a funny quote or just something I like.

Yeah it is frustrating, and I have been through it, but that's life, and sometimes it takes a while to find the person that is meant for you.
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Old 03-18-2015, 11:30 AM
 
79 posts, read 62,934 times
Reputation: 52
Quote:
Originally Posted by Adhom View Post
He sounds very aggressive which doesn't indicate whether he is really interested or not.
Aggressive? How so?
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