Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
IF you do break up with this woman and IF you go back to being who you were before her, that will be your choice alone and no one to blame but you.
There is not one person on the planet worth putting yourself through all the pain, suffering and misery just because of a break up.
Life goes on and you can as well IF you choose to do so, IF you choose not to move forward it is all on you.
Cut the dude some slack. A painful breakup on top of major unresolved abuse issues is a lot to deal with. The OP doesn't have a solid foundation to base coping skills and resilience on. It's just not there. Everyone's walked different paths in life to get to where they are, some people's path was more challenging than others. You can't judge until you've been through the OP's particular hell at age 3 or 5 or whenever it happened (could've gone on for years).
Yo, OP! Do one of the best things you can do for yourself, and get some help. Start saving your cash, or get an extra part-time job, pick up a few hours waiting tables a couple nights a week or whatever it takes to get the help you need. You'll be glad you did.
I have been with a woman seventeen years my senior for the last six months.
Up to the point of meeting my lover, my love life was an absolute joke. She's the first female I have ever been with. I was sexually abused as a child by family members and eventually went into care. I never had any real friends growing up, and my interest in females was non-existent. Due to the events of when I was younger, any thought of intimacy with someone absolutely repulsed and frightened me.
My partner changed all that. She changed a lot of things in me. I've been depressed for many years, and I met her after I got a new job. I had to leave my old job eventually due to depression, suicidal tendencies and anxiety getting the better of me. She is a co-worker and we immediately hit it off. We both have the same interests. We started talking to one another on the phone, and one thing led to another. The last six months have been the most wonderful of my life. I've never felt so alive. I have become confident with things that only half a year ago, would have terrified me silly.
But yet I'm filled with fear because I know nothing lasts forever, and I know the age gap thing is a problem. We recently had an argument regarding it. As I think about our future, I feel like I'm on a road. One which really doesn't have a real direction. And it scares the hell out of me. I feel like I can't lose her. I can't go back to being who I was. That was no life. It was mere survival.
you are right relationships do not last forever, that is why you must treasure the time you spend with people, especially ones like your current girlfriend. as you have noted you have gained confidence, but you have gained more than that as well. you have gotten an education.
you still have much to learn though, so take the time to learn what she has to teach. and remember that even if she leaves one day, you will never be the person you were before you met her.
one more bit of advice for you, while you and her are together, wrap your life around hers. but when the time comes to part ways, you will have to unwrap your life from hers. however like i say the lessons she will teach you will be with you for the rest of your life.
Whatever you decide to do, I hope you feel it was the right choice. So many people get into relationships because they feel they have to be. That is not fair to you or anyone else. So i'm sure you will do the right thing. If you do break up with her, just make sure you are nice about it and let her know that she will also find someone else.
But this has to be something you feel is right.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
