Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I would certainly recommend that men also note how the gf's mother treats her dad/husband. That will tell the young man a lot. If the mother is controlling, abusive, cold toward her man, its a good chance the gf will be the same toward her man.
As a man I could see it being a good indicator, but if the mom is a ***** and the man doesn't stand his ground with her that could be a problem for the wife as well.
I can say that I don't think it matters. I was raised in a loving household with four brothers and how they treated my Mom were split. My two older brothers had my Dad's personality to an extent. My Dad loved my Mom and treated her with respect, but he was never the type of man to... go that extra mile for my Mom. I mean like buying her flowers or jewelry or cooking a meal for her. You know, the little things in life that count. He was strong, but quiet and he was a good provider. My older brothers weren't helpful or didn't appreciate Mom. They weren't abused by her as she was the best Mom. My younger brothers were total opposites. They helped her do a lot of things (she was mechanicaly inclined). They loved her and they showed it.
I have two sons and they were also total opposites. My oldest is like his Dad in the fact that he loves and respects me, but he's not an outward emotional person and doesn't do little things for me that would warm my heart. (He does take me out for Mother's Day for lunch). I love him more than anything, but that's just the way he is. He does treat his girlfriend good. My younger son had a giving heart like me and he always showed it. He would help me all the time with things around the house. He would buy me gifts that were personalized with things like "World's Greatest Mom" or things of that nature where he had them inscribed for me. I will forever hold those close to my heart.
I didn't think that my Mom or parents for that fact, deserved the "lack of gratitude" from my older brothers, but that's just how it went.
Possibly, but not necessarily. If someone is outright disrespectful to their parents, that is a red flag because they should at least be able to keep themselves in check. The Mr.'s mother is a mean-spirited bully, and it's actually impressive how he tries to at least remain cordial with her.
Then again, families are complicated, and we have no control over the situation we are born into. I've gotten my share of side-eye for having been estranged from my parents for 19 and 14 years, respectively... but luckily my give-a-damn is broken.
Last edited by Ginge McFantaPants; 03-28-2015 at 07:53 AM..
Some "mothers" are not really mothers. I'll gauge it more on how he treats everyone and if he's overall a respectful person before I single out a parental unit.
Sometimes I think genetics plays a role, in the case of my family, at least. My oldest brother practically disowned my parents because he felt that as an adult, he was on his own and tended to his own family. He worshiped his wife until the day she died. After she died, he said he'd never let another woman come between him and our family (our parents died long ago). He's remarried now and lives in China and he is back to the way he used to be. We're used to it. He chooses when he comes to the US if he wants to visit us. We're an extremely close family and were brought up to be good people by good parents.
My other older brother is an arrogant jerk. Neither of my parents were like that. He was loved and has always had that type of personality.
I understand completely when a child is brought up in an abusive, toxic environment, they have every right to choose to not have a relationship with their parents.
I'm saying that a toxic parent isn't always the reason someone doesn't treat their Mom or Dad well, nor does it (in all circumstances) reflect on the way they'll treat their SO.
In my family situation, I can only blame it on genetics being different. I dunno
I would certainly recommend that men also note how the gf's mother treats her dad/husband. That will tell the young man a lot. If the mother is controlling, abusive, cold toward her man, its a good chance the gf will be the same toward her man.
Good point. It just seems these things are not told to single men. For single women the whole family is over protective as well as her friends. They want to know how the man treats his family, his income, his hobbies, how he spends his money, if he has any addictions, is he an abuser or not, etc. First time he rings the doorbell to pick up the girl things tense up in that house. Now, when it comes to a guy its like, whatever, he'll live and learn. But yeah. If anybody out there cares for who their son, male friend, male acquaintance, etc. is dating then what you said could be something to pay attention to.
I have a close friend who married a girl who didn't have that great of relationship with her father. Yet, they are happily married. Could have thought it was a red flag when she started seeing my friend but nope. So far so good. She is a business girl, yet, she cooks and cleans, puts some effort to remain in shape, I am sure they have a healthy sex life, etc.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
. But yeah. If anybody out there cares for who their son, male friend, male acquaintance, etc. is dating then what you said could be something to pay attention to. 
