I miss my ex after a year of no contact

[Dangerous-Boy]

Originally Posted by shirkenneth

Hi guys,
I'm a medical student who had a 4 months relationship with a student from my class. We have been the best friends for a few months before we started dating and I felt like he was my soulmate during that time, although we're very different. The guy is very introvert comparing to me, less ambitious and dominant, but really considerate loving to me. He had almost no friends when we met, and I'm, as a very social girl introduced him to my friends at the time. after a few months I felt bored. I mean, I felt like I wanted him to stay in my life as a very good friend, but not as my boyfriend. I loved him a real, true love, as I love my mom and my brother, but I felt it was right for us to break up and try to leave things as they were before 4 months before. He didn't accept that and tried really hard to keep the relationship going. He said I was his world and he couldn't imagine his life without me. I couldn't either, but we both saw "us" as two different things.
Therefore, he decided to have no contact with me at all. I believe it was too hard for him to have me around, even as a friend and he wanted to break that off.
It's been almost a year of no contact. He unfriended me on FB. We study in the same class, but we're not talking and even ignoring each other. Most of my close friends kind of picked his side, and I have almost no contact with them today either. It was the hardest thing for me at the beginning, although I was the one who broke up with him.
I'd say that I decided not to have a relationship this year, in order to focus on my studies. After a few months I felt good with the decision. I got a little upset, of course, when he had a birthday and I didn't call and I'm almost sure he's dating another girl from our class, who was one of my friends before the breakup.
I'd say that I DON'T wanna get back to him. I don't see us as a couple and it was a mistake. I do miss him a lot now. It's so strange- almost a year of no contact and no crying, but now, I feel bad. I miss him, I listen to our songs, I see pics and it's so hard. Maybe it's not him, but the need for being so close to someone. I don't know.
What I do know, is that I feel empty. I feel bad. I spend a lot of time thinking about him.
What should I do?
Thanks in advance,
Emma

1. Attachment causes suffering.
2. Take a yoga class.
3. Stick to your studies. People die to go to med school and live in nyc. You are lucky to being doing both.
4. Don't feel sorry for him. He's going to be doctor. He's going to get tons hot girls.
5. You don't need friends. Get a cat. Its low maintenance although I refuse to pick up after pets so that's why i don't have any. maybe get fish instead
6. Get rid of social media.

and mostly importantly...it could be worse. You still have bladder control. You have food, shelter, and water.

Try being homeless. It would suck more than the predicament you are in.

[Henna]

This reminds me of the posts by Penive Pam. Or whatever that troll's name was.

[oping00]

Why don't you write to Dear Abbey instead.

[deeken]

Nothing worse than being twitter unfriended. Jesus these kids and their social media nonsense. Its sad that there are people who communicate primarily through this method. I'm not even 40 and I don't part take in this crap. Do people call each other anymore?

[livingsinglenyc]

Forget him honey. Your too young to be in love anyway. Go enjoy your life before you worry about sharing it with someone else.

[Kefir King]

Had you not said Med School, I'd have assumed junior high.

[Employable]

Originally Posted by shirkenneth

What should I do?

Did you add his name to your screen name? I desperately need that answer.

I read your initial post and imagined the responses you'd get. They're all here.

After talking to enough women in NYC, I can confidently relay what they'd tell you:
1. Learn how to find dates here. The process is different and you need to strategize.
2. Age doesn't necessarily matter for your type of situation, but through your phrasing and tone, it sounds like you might need a little toughening up.
3. (Sorry, I don't have a #3... my New York-tough wife isn't here for extra suggestions.)

[Vacanegro]

Originally Posted by shirkenneth

Hi guys,
I'm a medical student who had a 4 months relationship with a student from my class. We have been the best friends for a few months before we started dating and I felt like he was my soulmate during that time, although we're very different. The guy is very introvert comparing to me, less ambitious and dominant, but really considerate loving to me. He had almost no friends when we met, and I'm, as a very social girl introduced him to my friends at the time. after a few months I felt bored. I mean, I felt like I wanted him to stay in my life as a very good friend, but not as my boyfriend. I loved him a real, true love, as I love my mom and my brother, but I felt it was right for us to break up and try to leave things as they were before 4 months before. He didn't accept that and tried really hard to keep the relationship going. He said I was his world and he couldn't imagine his life without me. I couldn't either, but we both saw "us" as two different things.
...
What I do know, is that I feel empty. I feel bad. I spend a lot of time thinking about him.
What should I do?
Thanks in advance,
Emma

Interesting question, but to me it sounds like you want to have your cake and eat it too. Why do you care when you broke up with him ? Why do you keep looking backwards ? Ask yourself if it might be because he has moved on and you have not ?

If I have a problem with someone or something then often the best thing to do is to turn your back on the bad habit and just move on - clearly he has done this and you have watched it happen - be happy for him now you need to follow the same course. Take the advice - be friendly, cordial, professional but move on. Get a new peer group if you have to.

[Jay100]

If he graduates and becomes a doctor, I'm sure he will have plenty of women to choose from. Not a big deal.