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I was approached by a guy during my commute home on the Metro (DC). It was the 90s, so instead of being absorbed in my phone, I was absorbed in a book. He apparently saw me smile at something I was reading. He got my attention and told me I had a beautiful smile. He offered me his business card and asked me to contact him sometime. I accepted the card and went back to my book. I thought it took balls to do that with so many people watching, and I was a little uncertain how to respond -- I wasn't remotely shy, but didn't really want to engage in a getting-to-know-you conversation on a packed train full of strangers, either.
BTW, I did end up contacting him, and we hung out a few times, but he turned out to be a control freak so I moved on.
If you're going to do it, THIS is the right way, give the info and then leave, vs. trapping the person into a conversation they may or may not want to have.
I take the bus to work everyday and it's the only time I get to see other people besides my coworkers and family. I wish there were more guys that would approach me during the day as I do not go out at night. There's been a few guys I found attractive that ride my bus and I would catch some of them looking at me, but none ever come approach me directly, and I wish they would. However, it would be odd if they approached me on the actual bus as it's pretty quiet, and people would know for sure that someone's trying to hit on someone.
I guess if you really like her, I suggest you get off the same stop as her and say hello and introduce yourself. Someone did this to me, but he didn't say hello, and now I wished he did. It's too late now as that moment has passed, so don't let it pass you if you really like her.
This. The women I know want to be approached for a friendly chat. I don't know where this idea that women don't want to be bothered comes from. Some don't. Some do. You could miss out on something good if you give up without even trying. It seems silly for all these people to be walking around wishing they were in a relationship, but at the same time, convincing themselves that strangers don't want to be bothered by anyone.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,937 posts, read 36,948,491 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
This. The women I know want to be approached for a friendly chat. I don't know where this idea that women don't want to be bothered comes from. Some don't. Some do. You could miss out on something good if you give up without even trying. It seems silly for all these people to be walking around wishing they were in a relationship, but at the same time, convincing themselves that strangers don't want to be bothered by anyone.
When people want to socialize, they go to places to socialize. They don't have their headphones on and face first into a kindle. Its a universal sign = leave me alone.
There are tons of places that exist to socialize, use them.
When people want to socialize, they go to places to socialize. They don't have their headphones on and face first into a kindle. Its a universal sign = leave me alone.
There are tons of places that exist to socialize, use them.
Obviously, you wouldn't approach people with headphones on. Not everyone wears headphones. Someone just posted the previous page that she was approached by a guy while she was reading a book, and she ended up going on a few dates with him. So it does work.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,937 posts, read 36,948,491 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
Obviously, you wouldn't approach people with headphones on. Not everyone wears headphones. Someone just posted the previous page that she was approached by a guy while she was reading a book, and she ended up going on a few dates with him. So it does work.
It's pretty rare to see a 20s-40s person without headphones.
And you know, I know women that have gone on dates with people that sent them d*ck pics from OLD too. That doesn't mean its a great way to go about getting a date.
Obviously, you wouldn't approach people with headphones on. Not everyone wears headphones. Someone just posted the previous page that she was approached by a guy while she was reading a book, and she ended up going on a few dates with him. So it does work.
I really think that's rare though. I also believe the majority of people riding mass transit are not looking to get hit on. Like I said, the vast majority of passengers I see are listening to music or reading a paper or book. I've noticed this not only here, but in NYC, Boston, Chicago as well as international places like Singapore, Prague, Hong Kong. It's not just limited to U.S. Hey if someone wants to try this more power to you, but I think the success rate is not very high.
This really isn't any different that yelling out your car window on the way to work "hey what's your name" to someone in the next lane.
Why? It's pretty normal for people to exchange pleasantries while waiting for transit or waiting in line at the cashier's, or waiting in a ticket line at an event. At least it is where I live. I've talked to women on transit. I've talked to women on plane trips. If you have something interesting to say, and use a little humor, they usually don't mind. It depends on how it's done. If you're not skeevy about it, respect their space, are attentive to body language so you keep it short if they don't want to continue, it's not a problem. When I lived in Colorado, strangers greeted each other passing on the sidewalk. A little friendly interaction is good for the psyche. It boosts people's mood. There's too much of a tendency toward isolating ourselves, these days. And people wonder why they're depressed or lonely. Yelling out of a car window is too much like cat-calling from a distance. A whole different ball of wax.
If you're going to do it, THIS is the right way, give the info and then leave, vs. trapping the person into a conversation they may or may not want to have.
I remember riding the train a couple months ago and there were two people talking. While I thought they were a couple, turns out he trying out his game on her and it seemed she wasnt having it. She even lied about her age (saying she still in high school) thinking it would deter the guy. It didnt. When he finally left the train, she decided to stay till the next stop (she otherwise wouldve gotten off the same stop he did) just to make sure she wouldnt have to talk to him again.
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