Slapped my girilfriend, suicide attempts. HELP :( (girlfriends, marry, woman, love)

[Man222]

Hey,

I need some help. Im so sick of my girlfriends(25) attitude, she was really negative inborn and have thought about suicides since she was little. Her family sufferd in vilonce. She is a serious Christan, and im not, she broke the rules and it makes it hard for her.
The problem is she threatens me really easy with suidices. For example:

1) She lied to me about something little, i got mad, took my keys and phone and tried to walk out of appartment. When i was opening the door she started to climb out of the windows and i run upstairs and stop her. And didnt let me hug her. She says thats my fault because i should know how much she hates when i walk away. Its like i even cant be mad.
2)we fighted about something and we were sitting outside, it was cold, she was feeling cold. I sayd to her that put on the jacket and lets talk. But she is so stubborn like she doesnt want to do anything i say, so it lead to "im gonna run to the road". I mean its redicilous how she doesnt listen to me, its just few examples.

So today, she came home and i started to blame her because of those things, said i cant live like that. She have threatend/tried to do something like that 30+ more times. I blamed her about fixing things and making problems of nothing. I dont feel loved like that. She have taken pills while skyping and passed out, while im in another country and i have watched her nothing i can do, no one i can contact. All for nothing, etc etc.
So i blamed her for 1-2 hours and sayd that she has to stop it and start fighting for me, she didnt say anything, i felt hurt. (if i ignore her for 5 minutes or end the phone call, she treatens me to kill herself)

Finally i told her say something or leave after 10 minutes, she didnt say anything, i felt so hurt and i told her get out, go home. After few minutes she standed up and tryed to walk out, but there was a problem - she was going out without her things: shoes, phone, etc. It meant she was going to the roof or other place to hurt herself.

Obiously i stopped her, but she fights like crazy to get out. I pushed her to the coach and sayd dont move, keep telling stop! But she doesnt listen anything i say and keep fighting. I used her phone to contact her friend who maybe can help somehow. I was quite aggressive about holding her and pushing her but i couldnt hold her while using phone. I squeezed her, finally slapped her and throwed glass of water to her face. I have squeezed her shoulders before and elbowlocked her neck before to make her stop. She is stong girl, its quite hard to stop her.

After that i was a monster. She started to compete me with her father who beat her when he felt annoyed. Started to tell she cant touch me anymore and she hates me. I sayed her that im sorry, i was wrong, but dont compare that please. I told her its the only way u can make me like that, but she sayd its same as any beating.

I love her a lot, she is one of the most important persons in my life. Im always there for her if she needs someting or someone threats her bad it means everything to me. I have sayd to her - if she wants to go home or break up then ok. But i cant see her to take her life. Im strongly against violence against woman and it hurts me so much she takes it like beating like her father did. I didnt want to hurt her, i wasnt thinking that while slapping, i just though for a second maybe she stars listening but i should have known that i was wrong.


She forgave after saying so many hurtful things but i know that she is still thinking about that in future a lot and i cant stand she see's it like any random beating. If i get mad when she does something stupid or nonsense i cant get mad, i cant leave, i cant stop chating or end the call. I have to be always there for her and i cant blame her if she does something bad for me. Its the first time i hit her, usually i squeez her to stay at one place...what should i do if she doenst listen anything i say and keep running away? Even if i squeeze its Domestic Viloence in her eyes. I would rather leave or let her leave but i cant do it.

Now im sitting here while she is sleeping and thinking what to do, im lost and tired
Sorry for my bad english.

[rego00123]

Are you actually prepaired to fix your issues or do you just want to keep acting out and blaming your behavioir on things?

If you want my real advice I would tell you to get away from this girl and work on yourself.

[BirdieBelle]

What a mess.

You both need help. But you can only fix you, so leave her alone and start with that.

[Man222]

If u take the slapping out, what im doing wrong? Im serious and opened for criticism. What should i do if someone is trying to kill herself and doesnt listen for anything? My girlfriend is strong as hell and she not some skinny girl that i can sit on and hold still.

I would never use any violence outside of suicide situation. I have strong personality and changing myself isnt hard.

I really preciate your advice.

[Pennies4Penny]

She is controlling you with these suicide attempts. This is not a healthy woman and not a healthy relationship AT ALL. I would find a counselor or abuse center or someplace you can turn her over to so she can't hurt herself and then leave. Delete her number, change yours, no online connections or contact. Cut it off completely. She will keep pushing the envelope with you and one day, so won't be able to reverse her bluffs and you should in no way be held responsible or feel guilty about it.

[OvernightDelivery]

In the turing test it is known that coming off as a foreigner increases the likeliness that their bogus'ness is more likely to come off as believable.

[convextech]

Originally Posted by Man222

Hey,

I need some help. Im so sick of my girlfriends(25) attitude, she was really negative inborn and have thought about suicides since she was little. Her family sufferd in vilonce. She is a serious Christan, and im not, she broke the rules and it makes it hard for her.
The problem is she threatens me really easy with suidices.

If she really wants to commit suicide, she wouldn't be saying she was going to do it. She is just stringing you along like her puppet.

Get rid of her.

[BirdieBelle]

Originally Posted by Man222

If u take the slapping out, what im doing wrong?

You don't understand the real problem.

Originally Posted by Man222

She is a serious Christan, and im not....

This alone makes you incompatible.

As for the rest, your girlfriend is seriously emotionally unstable. She needs to be hospitalized, and you need therapy if you haven't realized that by now.

[Laychick]

If you even were to spit at me or get in my face in such an aggressive way during a disagreement, that would be already domestic violence to me. Not only but actually I would report you and proceed with the charges.

Had enough of watching my mother get hit only because of bad words she would say or throw similar tantrums (that's still no excuse to transform something verbal into already a physical altercation and throw the first hit...and it just means you are worse than that person and you have anger issues too). Both of you need help.

If she was so suicidal and unstable, that's a good reason to leave someone like that. Sorry but the only reason I think anyone (man or woman) should ever hit is in total self-defense....only if it's a death-life situation and the person is seriously trying to kill you. Hitting and hitting back in anger just to hit and because you got frustrated or you using the excuse ''but he/she started'' isn't self-defense.

[Man222]

I know that she bluffing sometimes, but also know that she can go super crazy and actually do it. Once she crabed the knife in front of me and if i had been 1 second slower then she would be most likely dead.

One reason why she is so serious because she feels like she betread god and feel really negative about that. She has to marry me or she goes to "hell". Im taking her really seriously. Her faimily is a mess..She didnt get much caring from her mother and father, she have told me storys what makes me super mad. I think she is seeking it from me, that im always there for her no matter what. And i am, but if she lies about something or do something stupid or whatever she has to think about my feeling too.

And what i forgot tell, she sometimes admits that she is mentally ill. Why im with her? When we dont have those problems things can be really great. She loves me a lot, she can come from work after 11 hours and just cook for me etc and she have cryed about that how much i take care of her.
She can be really sweet and loving but its like i cant feel bad about anything. She is acting like bipolar. And ****ing love the healty side. There as been times that she is so hurtful things to me and i hug her and take her to bed and just comfort no matter what and next day she says sorry and that she is so lucky to have someone who can accapet her illness. But things can be far too redicilous sometimes..