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I wouldn't use "dumped," since there's no real evidence it was ever anything but a casual relationship, not necessarily exclusive or serious or anything.
Assuming that no real conversations ever occurred where information came up that would lead to somebody determining that the two of you "weren't in the same place," I would imagine that it's very likely vaugespeak for "I'm seeing/talking to a few different people and have decided I'm going to move in a direction not-you." If somebody's got multiple fish on the line, there's nothing you can really do.
Your speculation that "something freaked him out" is interesting. Because you're making that assumption, it seems possible that you have an idea of exactly what transpired or came up that might have freaked him out.
Maybe disappointed with his text is a better word than getting dumped. You weren't in a realtionship. You thought you were getting to know each other and he wasn't at the same place, which is what he told you. Move on.
Regardless of age, some men have a problem telling women that they really aren't that into them even lthough we often read more into their talk and their actions. I have learned to not expect exclusivity until we actually talk about being exclusive and what we would expect from each other.
There's a saying from the Mars/Venus books, that men go fast, they are the gas pedals, but women must be the brakes. There's a phenomena he talks about called "blowtorching" where the guy in the beginning stages feels infatuated and rushed full speed ahead, calling every day, etc etc...but then when you join him there and it seems "real" they realize it went to fast, then he wants out and just stomp on the brakes. I have had my heart broken due to this in the past. I don't blame men for it, it's just the way we're wired. I also happen to believe men don't value us as much when we give our hearts away too easily.
I can vouch for this as well. Some guys will fall head over heels for a girl in the beginning, and be "all-in" before he even knows who she is as a person. These guys put the girl on a pedestal and treat the relationship as a fantasy. What they don't seem to get is that the girl is actually a real person, with flaws and needs, not just the object of their desire. So, when things all of a sudden get "real" and it's not just about the fantasy anymore, these guys will back off very quickly. They really aren't ready for commitment or even emotional connection.
The guys who come on too strong, too fast - always take them with a grain of salt. They don't really KNOW you and chances are they don't have a good grasp on their own sense of self if they're plunging head-first into a relationship before really knowing the girl. Really knowing and coming to like someone takes time, it's something that grows.
Well well well, guess who contacted me last night after 6 weeks of NC? I have not replied and don't know if I will. Of course, the text was sent while I was on a 2nd date with a really nice guy I just met. It's like they really do have a sense that tells them when we've moved on.
His text basically said he got freaked out but really liked our time together. He's been thinking of me and is sure I've met someone else by now, but he was taking a chance and reaching out.
This happened to me a lot when I was dating. A guy would cycle back around after a while. In this case, this guy handled things poorly. He blew you off, ignored your offer to talk about it, etc. It's up to you whether to give him a second chance, but I'd advise against it. See how things go with the new guy instead. I don't think you owe him a response - after all, he didn't seem to think he owed you one!
Last edited by CapsChick; 05-16-2015 at 03:40 PM..
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