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I rather just tell it like it is and tell the truth so I won't have to worry about keeping up with them. Lies catch up to you...no matter how small. It's up to YOU to recognize the difference between telling the truth vs. being an blatant jerk to someone.
Well said! And I agree with you. Many people don't realize how pervasive lying is in everyday life, or how necessary lying is to navigate the social world. And when I say lying, I am talking about the soft lies, or little white lies that humans use daily; those things we have to say, or those behaviors we have to pretend to have in order to be polite, or appropriate, or diplomatic. Many on here probably don't consider those 'polite' behaviors to lies though. But if you act in a way that you don't feel, or show behaviors that you don't really feel, or say things that you don't mean, you are lying.
Polite society requires individuals to lie.
You don't need to lie to navigate the "social world" that is simply a personal choice based on how you have seen it fit to accomplish what you seek within it.
Last edited by rego00123; 04-07-2015 at 01:47 PM..
I never have to use it as a tool to begin with. Has telling the truth caused problems?
Yes.
There was an instance with my daughter when she was 11. When she was young she lost her mother, this affected her even though she had my wife and sister to fall back on. Mother, the REAL mother was missing in her life. She knew vaguely what had happened to her mother but she sure as hell didn't know how to deal with that void, that lack of MOTHER in her life at the time.
I was working a lot, over seas for 2 - 3 weeks at a time and coming back to 10 or 12 hour days at the shop. I was in the sack by 10 and up at 5:30 am gone by 6:45 am. I didn't spend as much time with her as she NEEDED at the time.
One day I was laying on the living room floor she came to me and said she wanted to do something special and that she wanted me to do more with her. We talked and played with the computer, I explained to her about money and her future and all that.
I told her the TRUTH, the same TRUTH I had told her too many times before. Everybody went to bed, all was normal.
The next day the chit hit the fan. She came home from school took her bike for a ride down the trail and at some point decided she had had enough words. She knew where I worked and how to get there. She rode her bike almost 3 miles to my workplace walked in the front door past the receptionist, past the bosses son with a glare and walked into the shop looking for me. The bosses son followed her to stop her, he got the bike helmet in his chest for the effort and she pitched a fit of the highest order. I heard her, I came to the front. She was in tears, boiling. I picked her up and we went to the loading dock. She calmed down. She wanted ME. HOME. NOW. We left. I said I wouldn't be in the next day.
I didn't lie to her. In this instance a lie would have been worse but the truth was doing her no good. Words and truth were not what she NEEDED.
When I told my wife I had to ordered some parts she didn't NEED to hear "I'll do it later". She NEEDED to hear that I was on it, that it was one thing less to worry about.
The thing with my daughter ended well. The next day the boss called me and said there was 4 tickets to the Puyallup fair waiting for me at the office, that I was on vacation thru the following week and everyone was limited to max 45 hours a week until further notice. He hired another person. At the office the bosses son said I needed to get her a pitching coach. Those 11 days off were one of the highlights of my life. All of us had a ball. My daughter is now 28, she has dealt with the issue of her mother as best as can be expected. They even talk once in awhile as far as I know.
Ok, now the OP is taking his own post out of context.
I am very, very sorry for your daughter's loss.
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We're drifting away from the OP here Mikala but I answered the truth=problem question. Yes, truth can cause problems in some instances.
Of course it can, and "truth" is a little more liberal with children, it needs to be censored to be age appropriate.
If a friend is insecure and asking "am I pretty" or whatever, of course I am going to say whatever I can to reassure her, even if it is the "sunny side" of actual truth.
But to make a habit of lying to your spouse to get through the day, is trouble.
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I rather just tell it like it is and tell the truth so I won't have to worry about keeping up with them. Lies catch up to you...no matter how small. It's up to YOU to recognize the difference between telling the truth vs. being an blatant jerk to someone.
The most incapable liars are those with weak, short memories. The best of the best have elephantine memories, which is a must if you plan on being a professional liar.
With my elephantine memory, if and when I tell a lie, catch me if you can! Even 5 years down the road!
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