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Things with my ex took a serious turn for whatever reason and we are now more connected than ever. I haven't felt this way in a forever and unfortunately this whole thing happened when I was just finishing up with a third date with a new girl. I haven't known the new girl for even a month yet and I could totally see myself with her but I cannot throw away a relationship with a girl I have known for nearly a decade that my heart (and sex) is attached to.
So I want to politely tell the new girl that she is basically something that i've always wanted but I still have feelings for an ex and I am confused, I want to pursue the ex which has taken a serious turn but I want to remain close friends with the new girl to a point in which if my ex screws me over that the new girl will be there waiting and maybe I can start something with her.
I know that sounds selfish and that the new girl is what i've always wanted since graduating college but this is the truth..
can anyone let me know how to let her down nicely but still leave the door open? I don't want her to hate me or get pissed off at me and never want to talk again.
Wow....sooooo you want to have your cake and eat it too eh?
Not cool. That's not how it works. You can't just expect people to wait on you while you go have fun with someone else. How would you feel if you were someone's "back up plan?" I have ZERO respect for those who do this to other people.
Let the new girl go completely. Don't drag her into the mess with your ex.
Yeah, let the new girl go. Tell her you have too much unresolved drama with your ex. It is totally unfair to expect her to wait around for you to make up your mind.
You also have to figure out WTF is going on with Ms Ex.
Things with my ex took a serious turn for whatever reason and we are now more connected than ever. I haven't felt this way in a forever and unfortunately this whole thing happened when I was just finishing up with a third date with a new girl. I haven't known the new girl for even a month yet and I could totally see myself with her but I cannot throw away a relationship with a girl I have known for nearly a decade that my heart (and sex) is attached to.
So I want to politely tell the new girl that she is basically something that i've always wanted but I still have feelings for an ex and I am confused, I want to pursue the ex which has taken a serious turn but I want to remain close friends with the new girl to a point in which if my ex screws me over that the new girl will be there waiting and maybe I can start something with her.
I know that sounds selfish and that the new girl is what i've always wanted since graduating college but this is the truth..
can anyone let me know how to let her down nicely but still leave the door open? I don't want her to hate me or get pissed off at me and never want to talk again.
thanks,
I think the idea of making the new girl wait is absurd and disrespectful. But if you're going to do it, the answer is in your own post:
Quote:
Politely tell [insert new girl's name here] that she is basically something that you've always wanted but you still have feelings for an ex and you're confused, you want to pursue the ex which has taken a serious turn but you want to remain close friends.
And if the door stays open, it stays open. And if it doesn't...
[i'd say "good luck" but hopefully the new girl has high self-esteem and walks]
Things with my ex took a serious turn for whatever reason and we are now more connected than ever. I haven't felt this way in a forever and unfortunately this whole thing happened when I was just finishing up with a third date with a new girl. I haven't known the new girl for even a month yet and I could totally see myself with her but I cannot throw away a relationship with a girl I have known for nearly a decade that my heart (and sex) is attached to.
So I want to politely tell the new girl that she is basically something that i've always wanted but I still have feelings for an ex and I am confused, I want to pursue the ex which has taken a serious turn but I want to remain close friends with the new girl to a point in which if my ex screws me over that the new girl will be there waiting and maybe I can start something with her.
I know that sounds selfish and that the new girl is what I've always wanted since graduating college but this is the truth..
can anyone let me know how to let her down nicely but still leave the door open? I don't want her to hate me or get pissed off at me and never want to talk again.
thanks,
Nope.
There is no way any guy can do this nicely.
And yes, this behavior is selfish for males and females.
I am a female, and I would be pissed 1) if I knew that I put on the back burner and replaced by an ex and 2) if the guy expected me to leave the door open for future dating after telling me that he wants to go back to his ex.
I would not wait around for you. I would find some other guy to get to know, one who treats humans with respect.
Ill be the one that says you should stay with the new girl and forget about the old one..
Youre being really weak by letting the old one back in. Things took a turn and ended for a reason. It will just backfire when you realize she has complete control over you.
But Im on the other end of your screen and I have no way of knowing what your relationships are like.
The best policy is HONESTY. Be that, and only that. No sugar coating fake stuff. no letting her down easy... tell her how it is.
I agree with NewHavensFinest. Your ex is an ex for a reason.
Accept that if you end things with the new girl, it will be final. She is not going to sit around waiting for you hoping to possibly be your second runner up. That would be really stupid.
Leave the new girl. She doesn't need a boyfriend whose heart is pining for someone else. You selfish piece of ish.
PS: and you'll likely end up with neither of them.
^^^^^ I agree
OP:
I could not be with a guy whose heart was pining for someone else. It is either me or her. But not both of us with me waiting in the wings.
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