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I agree completely, plus the pressures modern society puts on us cause undue stress which can result in temper outbursts.
Outside influences, the economy, financial problems, etc. are NO excuse for bad behavior. I have my share of problems, yet I manage to keep myself in check and I keep my hands to myself. If I didn't, I'd have an Uzi and there would be a trail of dead bodies on every freeway I drove around on. Point is, you have to be responsible for your own actions and blaming your poor choices, actions and inability to control yourself and keep your emotions in check on anything other than yourself is a complete cop out and completely unacceptable.
Outside influences, the economy, financial problems, etc. are NO excuse for bad behavior. I have my share of problems, yet I manage to keep myself in check and I keep my hands to myself. If I didn't, I'd have an Uzi and there would be a trail of dead bodies on every freeway I drove around on. Point is, you have to be responsible for your own actions and blaming your poor choices, actions and inability to control yourself and keep your emotions in check on anything other than yourself is a complete cop out and completely unacceptable.
There is no way my original statement was a cop out (re seeing more of this with more pressure). I think for those who tend NOT to be control themselves (or are closeto some kind of personal/subjective "breaking point"), YES a high pressure situation (or ongoing financial stress, for example) might put them into territory where they can't control themselves.....and definitely add to "anger management problems"..read: "problem". Not a cop out.
Any time there is more societal pressure, counselors, abuse people, law enforcement, etc., ALWAYS see an increase in domestic violence, crime of all types, etc. Not an "excuse"....but the statistics prove that it's "real."
HOLY SMOKES !!! "Dept Of Corrections" Dont tell me your a policeman!!
You're probably aware that policemen and Corrections Officers suffer from high rates of alcoholism, stress, suicide and,(although I don't have the stats on this) I have no doubt their rate of domestic violence is higher also. I know from personal experience that jobs like those, where a person has to watch their back all day, day in and day out, are extremely stressful. Danger is constant, and a type of survival instinct kicks in, or else the person tries to escape the stress in one form or another.
As for the "cop-out" theory, I don't condone any domestic violence, I am just realistic enough to know that, as SBurgess stated, it's a proven fact. Stress pushes people to, and past, their breaking point. We aren't talking about "domestic violence" anyway, we're talking about a girl who casually slaps or hits her boyfriend. I am guessing she hit her siblings, schoolmates, maybe even her pets and has gotten away with it all her life. She may not even realize it's a problem, or understand why the boyfriend would object.
You're probably aware that policemen and Corrections Officers suffer from high rates of alcoholism, stress, suicide and,(although I don't have the stats on this) I have no doubt their rate of domestic violence is higher also. I know from personal experience that jobs like those, where a person has to watch their back all day, day in and day out, are extremely stressful. Danger is constant, and a type of survival instinct kicks in, or else the person tries to escape the stress in one form or another.
As for the "cop-out" theory, I don't condone any domestic violence, I am just realistic enough to know that, as SBurgess stated, it's a proven fact. Stress pushes people to, and past, their breaking point. We aren't talking about "domestic violence" anyway, we're talking about a girl who casually slaps or hits her boyfriend. I am guessing she hit her siblings, schoolmates, maybe even her pets and has gotten away with it all her life. She may not even realize it's a problem, or understand why the boyfriend would object.
and that is where parenting comes in...even the slightest allowance of such behavior triggers a conditioning to believe that what they are doing is acceptable behavior.
I believe non education breeds uneducation...violent parents breed violent children...welfare, breeds welfare...sexual abuse breeds sexual abuse...verbal abuse, breeds verbal abuse....physical abuse breeds physical abuse....controlling parents breed controlling kids....narcissium, breeds narcissium....and so on and so on....and the is the key...education....which should be escalating society...but it is not....ask yourself why....
behavior in human beings is passed down from generation to generation....but school is a direct influence, as well....if a kid is bullied in school, where does the bully obtain that behavior?
They've hit their animals....maybe even at times tortured them....and they grow up being bullies....they are angry people...and I believe, if this world had a much better education system....there would be less crime, less murders, less alcholism....IF, people would only learn to work together.
Again, the ripple effect....and it could be so easy....it is a shame, what greed has done to this country.
Hitting someone is never ok, no matter what sex the person is.
That's what I'm saying. Hitting is not okay, no matter who does it, or for what reason (excuse). You are responsible for your own actions and no matter how much blame you put on outside factors or stress, what it all boils down to is this: if you hit someone with your own fists, you can't blame anyone or anything for this. You have yourself to blame if you can't keep your emotions in check and your hands to yourself.
That's what I'm saying. Hitting is not okay, no matter who does it, or for what reason (excuse). You are responsible for your own actions and no matter how much blame you put on outside factors or stress, what it all boils down to is this: if you hit someone with your own fists, you can't blame anyone or anything for this. You have yourself to blame if you can't keep your emotions in check and your hands to yourself.
I totally agree, but do you see the point I was trying to make in my last post? You have to take it further...it's easy to say, it is unacceptable behavior, and it is....without a shadow of a doubt....but....in order to stop it, we have to get to the root of the problem, which is education?
I would like to know what would be the appropriate way to enlighten a friend who's girlfriend casually hits him when she gets angry. Her actions trouble my friend a great deal, but he dismisses her actions as though they are the expected rants of an angry woman. I tell him all the time that all angry women don't hit their boyfriends. He has been slapped, had things thrown at him and pushed right in front of me and other male and female friends. All of us, males and females alike have told him to just dump her, but to no avail. The crazy thing is, many of their conflicts arise from the silliest things. I don't know if she's lucky for having a guy that won't hit her, or if he's unlucky to have a woman who will hit him. Is the pleasure of romance really worth all this abuse and violence?
Maybe she grew up in a household where her mother hit her father? Maybe she grew up in a household where the siblings all hit each other continuously even as they grew older?
Anger management classes? AA?
If I was the boyfriend, and tired of it, I would grab both of her wrists and say,"You will not do that to me again. Ever."
I watched my real mother hit everyone, including me....she hit me so hard, across the ears that my hearing was impaired. Luckily, I had the support of another family, across the street, who became my family. ONce, when I was 5, my mother kept arguing with my step dad....he slapped him and his glasses went sailing....he chased her in the bedroom and started kicking her. Later in life, when she married again....she hit that man...and then to, the third. She was a mean angry bully, and to this day...is even meaner. She has no friends. I feel sorry for her, but nothing in the world will change her. We tried to get her into counseling, but she wouldn't hear of it. Mentally, now, she is dysfunctional....
What I'm saying is, my real mother owns this horrible character that brings the worst out in people. She hits and hits...and I thank God, and prayed to God, many times over when I was a child, that I'd never grow up like her. Though, If I hadn't had the influence of that other family, who, even now, is still my family....I cringe to think, that I might have turned out abusesive....I am a very fortunate woman.
Our behavior when we grow up, absolutely depends largly on how our parents treated us when we were children. And how we interacted with our sibblings. And when parents are young, they don't realize the impact they have on their childrens lives.
I'm guessing, this woman grew up violently. Sad, very sad.
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"Dept Of Corrections" Dont tell me your a policeman!!
