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I agree with everybody else that you are not her parent.
However, why doesn't she just tell her FRIENDS she has a medical condition? Why keep it a secret? If they still pressure her after she has the talk, she might recognize all by herself that they are a bunch of dycks.
I agree with everybody else that you are not her parent.
However, why doesn't she just tell her FRIENDS she has a medical condition? Why keep it a secret? If they still pressure her after she has the talk, she might recognize all by herself that they are a bunch of dycks.
I wonder if there really is a medical condition, or if that's just the way the OP is trying to spin this so he can feel better about trying to tell her what to do.
At this point all I can say is you are her partner, not her parent.
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I agree withe the poster that said your GF may be using them as an excuse. I merely tell friends I'm watching my calories, can't imagine them being like "no! Get the bacon burger and a pina colada" there is no reason she cannot go out and eat and drink responsibly.
She seems very weak willed in all of your posts. Are you working harder to help than she is?
There is nothing you can, or should do other than be supportive during you interactions with her. She needs to work out how to act while she interacts with others
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I'm getting the vibe from the OP that this isn't the woman for him. He sounds like some of the OP's we've had in the past, that say, "My gf is great, but she's chubby. How can I get her to lose weight"? If you're not into her the way she is, why are you with her? Why try to remake her? It might be time to face the fact that you need to move on, if you can't get over this hangup about her weight.
I agree withe the poster that said your GF may be using them as an excuse. I merely tell friends I'm watching my calories, can't imagine them being like "no! Get the bacon burger and a pina colada" there is no reason she cannot go out and eat and drink responsibly.
She seems very weak willed in all of your posts. Are you working harder to help than she is?
There is nothing you can, or should do other than be supportive during you interactions with her. She needs to work out how to act while she interacts with others
I've known people who would be like "oh, just have the piece of cake/burger/chicken wings/etc. You only live once." So I can buy that some people would be like that.
But it's not like they are going to threaten to end their friendship with her if she doesn't have the bacon burger, so it would be a little ****ty for her to end a friendship with people who have been there for her through tough times.
I do get the willpower thing also, though, and so if I were in her position I would limit contact with them to non-drinking/eating situations.
Again, though, this is all her business. If she's not going to do it, Denny can't and really shouldnt do a damn thing about it other than support her decisions.
I'm getting the vibe from the OP that this isn't the woman for him. He sounds like some of the OP's we've had in the past, that say, "My gf is great, but she's chubby. How can I get her to lose weight"? If you're not into her the way she is, why are you with her? Why try to remake her? It might be time to face the fact that you need to move on, if you can't get over this hangup about her weight.
Absolutely and that's the tone I keep for myself too. If I'm wanting this much stuff to change with my partner, then that just means they aren't right for me. I take the same road when a woman says I like you, but I'm not crazy about you. She doesn't want me to change anymore than she wants to change.
I've been in this situation before where I was involved with someone who I wanted to change some aspects of her life. She didn't like it very much and told me where the door was. After some thought, I ultimately only had two options on how to handle the proposition. Let her do what she wants, since it brought her happiness, or do not pursue women who partake in situations that emotionally bother me that much.
This bothers you OP and you either need to deal with it, or let her deal with it on her own. She's going to do what she dang well pleases, unless you're willing to pick up her meal tabs and bills all the time. That's the only way that you will be able to "control" her.
Absolutely and that's the tone I keep for myself too. If I'm wanting this much stuff to change with my partner, then that just means they aren't right for me. I take the same road when a woman says I like you, but I'm not crazy about you. She doesn't want me to change anymore than she wants to change.
I've been in this situation before where I was involved with someone who I wanted to change some aspects of her life. She didn't like it very much and told me where the door was. After some thought, I ultimately only had two options on how to handle the proposition. Let her do what she wants, since it brought her happiness, or do not pursue women who partake in situations that emotionally bother me that much.
This bothers you OP and you either need to deal with it, or let her deal with it on her own. She's going to do what she dang well pleases, unless you're willing to pick up her meal tabs and bills all the time. That's the only way that you will be able to "control" her.
It's somewhat alarming that the OP wants her to stop seeing her friends altogether, knowing how much they mean to her, and how they've been through a lot together, and have helped her in situations before. Is cutting her off from her friends the only solution? There are so many other options in this case. Why go to that extreme? It's not an SO's place to dictate who someone can hang out with.
Still wondering what that mysterious "medical condition" is.
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