Wow you guys weren't lying that online dating sucks (internet, atheist, frustration)

[timberline742]

Originally Posted by ohio_peasant

Geographic variations, or "regional artifacts", are indeed incredibly substantial. I marvel at how much of my personal experience is the exact negation of what Timberline reports. In the nominal town that's associated with my mailing address, there are more adults over 25 who lack a high school diploma, than those who have a 4-year degree or above. I've probably been on a date (counting the first date) with around 30-40 women since reentering the dating-world ~3 years ago, and of those, exactly one had a PhD. We got along admirably well, until she revealed that she had an STD. That somewhat curtailed her appeal. Mostly I date women without higher education and with ill-structured lives.

Well I live and work (most of the time) right between Harvard and MIT, so yeah, you know, a rather over educated population if there ever was one.

But me, I've lived places which were good for my career (hello Western Kentucky and Northeast Indiana) and I was so socially miserable that I said F it, I'm out of here. Being happy with my friends and scene means a lot to me. A lot more than 10-20k more or a nicer title, whatever. We all have our priorities.

[ohio_peasant]

Originally Posted by timberline742

But me, I've lived places which were good for my career (hello Western Kentucky and Northeast Indiana) and I was so socially miserable that I said F it, I'm out of here. Being happy with my friends and scene means a lot to me. A lot more than 10-20k more or a nicer title, whatever. We all have our priorities.

Indeed. I'm not familiar with Western Kentucky, but NE Indiana (Ft. Wayne?) would be more prosperous and more cosmopolitan than my present location.

Unfortunately the lure of career isn't merely an increment in salary or prestige. I have a lavishly appointed lab, and the combination of considerable academic-freedom and a low-stress job with a defined-benefit pension and unbeatable job security. I collaborate with all sorts of researchers, not because I'm proactive or wield any above-average competency, but simply from the advantage of my position. Money for equipment or business-travel or hiring of contractors/technicians flows copiously. How could one dispense with such a thing, but relocating elsewhere? And there aren't too many years left before early-retirement.

[timberline742]

Ft Wayne was a total crudhole. I'm so very sorry. My students were mostly working at Hooters and Strip Clubs it seemed, or truck stops. So run down. Depressing. I called it the truck stop capital of the upper midwest.

[NWGirl74]

Originally Posted by ohio_peasant

The trouble with moving is that with the exception of the dating-situation, and social life in general, circumstances here are quite favorable.

The type of work I do is very portable so that for me wouldn't be an issue. For me the issue is I have a good life here and why would I want to walk away from that with no guarantee there would be different results.

The frustration for me when it comes to OLD is the lack of profile views and messages. I'm not delusional-I am nowhere near a 10, but I don't need a bag over my head to keep people from shrieking in terror when they see my face either. When it comes to OLD, I'm virtually invisible.

Originally Posted by timberline742

Geeze, I didn't see this Portland! I've been several times for Board meetings and extended the stay for a bit, and, well, Portland seemed like a total sausage party. A couple of times I figured that most of the women there must all be working in the strip clubs or something, because I didn't see many at all when out checking out bands, or whatever. I'm going to have to pay more attention next time I'm there.

Good! You can tell scout it out and tell me where all the single men ages 35ish - 45ish are hanging out.

[Port Pitt Ash]

Originally Posted by NWGirl74

And no, I am not exaggerating or making this up. The women here are aggressive because we have to be; the men are incredibly passive because they can be, especially in the age range of 35-50.

Most of the people in general in the PacNW seemed passive to me. Portland has never really been great for dating, but it was alright. Every time I heard one of my male friends complaining it was usually some vague fear of feminist sh*t storm (that I'm pretty sure they had never experienced and was more on the level of urban myth).

Originally Posted by timberline742

Geeze, I didn't see this Portland! I've been several times for Board meetings and extended the stay for a bit, and, well, Portland seemed like a total sausage party. A couple of times I figured that most of the women there must all be working in the strip clubs or something, because I didn't see many at all when out checking out bands, or whatever.

It's not completely your imagination there are more men on the west coast and more women in the east.

Portland is the only place I've ever been where strip clubs were fun events vs horn dogs going for sleaze.

Also a big problem with dating the more attractive women in that town is there's a good chance she is a dancer (or model just in town for a shoot over the weekend).

[NewbiePoster]

Originally Posted by Port Pitt Ash

Most of the people in general in the PacNW seemed passive to me. Portland has never really been great for dating, but it was alright. Every time I heard one of my male friends complaining it was usually some vague fear of feminist sh*t storm (that I'm pretty sure they had never experienced and was more on the level of urban myth).

There's a lot of this myth from dudes on the Seattle forum, and some of the women I dated in Seattle said the dudes are pretty passive. I'm from California originally, so I didn't have that passivity thing going on, so I didn't have trouble dating, and I didn't run into hostile women, like some of the dudes say the city is full of. There's a level of dysfunction in the NW that doesn't exist in other places, IMO.

[Port Pitt Ash]

Originally Posted by NewbiePoster

There's a level of dysfunction in the NW that doesn't exist in other places, IMO.

When I first moved out to Portland someone back home asked what it was like. I said, "Remember all those kids that were a bit odd and got picked on in school? Well, a lot of it is like that."

While that's certainly an oversimplification it's also somewhat apt.

[planetelle]

I've been following this thread with interest… I've only been doing OLD for less than a year, since I moved to SoCal. I think my experience has been a bit skewed. I haven't tried OKC yet but am intrigued. by the number of people that have met long term bf/gf on the site. Before I commit myself to assembling another OLD profile, would someone mind sharing what an "enemy %" is, please?

[layasera]

Enemy % is pretty self explanatory it means the percentage that you disagree. OR have opposing beliefs/opinions on a topic - religion, politics, etc.

I just never pay attention to those though. And I never found any guy on OKC. IN fact if I went with those stats. I never would have even talk to my husband. He does not want kids, I want kids. He is an atheist, I am Catholic. 2 VERY important criteria for me. But well we're married now and we dealt with it.

We met on POF though.

[ocnjgirl]

Originally Posted by halfamazing

I have actually gotten OLD down to a science. Technology is taken over and we are moving into more of the swipe concept but this concept has always existed- based on facial structure. This means less and less are people really looking at profiles before they decide whether to pursue because we as humans are templates. And most of the times if the photo is clicked, it is to find more photos. Then if there is more interest, the profile is read. You may not think this way but you certainly weren't the one to introduce the swipe concept were you? This means you are in the lower percentile based on research that most people choose based on photos- which relates to how someone relates to YOUR FACIAL STRUCTURE. Do a search on the last people to view you. If your profile is mostly viewed by black women but you are chasing blonde white women, what do you think might be your problem sir? Same goes for you m'am.

Look at the men below- they are average looking dudes. Of course because of tv, their personalities flare out which is what makes them more appealing- along with the celebrity status (but it is because of their personalities that has driven their likability factor)

If you place unknown men with similar features of that of the rock or vin online, you will notice a pattern between the types of woman that click on their photos in search of more photos for their physical structure by the "other" types vs the more native local types that are genetically drawn to the vin diesel and Dwayne types. They are divided between mostly Anglo brunettes (when in wealth status), but light skinned blacks, pacific islanders, and latin women when in the unknown average dude status.

Don't believe me? Do a research on their past girlfriends from when they were non-celebrities to more recent. The less known, the more rooted to their culture. The more wealthy, the more anglo aka white /brunette models types as arm candy. But rarely would you see the men below with blonde women. It's not in their genetic pattern to procreate with such but it does happen from time to time. Also, take note that you often find the bald vin diesel types with very dark skinned black women- especially in urbanized cities.

I wish they were the "average" man, they are far from it! They are tall, muscular and totally buff, as well as masculine and hot. Just by the pics you posted, if I had never seen them before...if you think guys built like that are freely available online, you haven't looked at the men online.

This is about the level of the average guy that writes to me Mod cut: Copyrighted image.