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I would be concerned about the money although I was like that in my 20's I think. I also did cocaine once about eight years ago and I'm fine and have no desire to do it again. That isn't a huge issue unless she does it again and again. I do think you need to look for somebody more comfortable in their own skin and that is something good about being in your 40's.
I would be concerned about the money although I was like that in my 20's I think. I also did cocaine once about eight years ago and I'm fine and have no desire to do it again. That isn't a huge issue unless she does it again and again. I do think you need to look for somebody more comfortable in their own skin and that is something good about being in your 40's.
Not sure if you're referring to yourself or me, but I'm 29. Not in my 40s.
I understand. However, I'm not going to date someone who I'm not attracted to for the sake of their personality.
But you're here trying to rationalize continuing a relationship with someone whose personality and values you're not attracted to for the sake of her looks. It's the opposite side of the same coin.
But you're here trying to rationalize continuing a relationship with someone whose personality and values you're not attracted to for the sake of her looks. It's the opposite side of the same coin.
As I stated before, I don't think I'm ever going to find a woman who's going to be perfect both on the physical appearance and personality spectrums. There will be flaws and there will be compromises made on both sides. With these women I spoke of earlier, it's almost to the point where I'm repulsed by the idea of being with them sexually. That's how little I'm attracted to them physically. Though this girl who I'm seeing has displayed some troubling characteristics, I do not feel absolutely repulsed by her either. I can't be with anyone who I'm repulsed by, either by their appearance or their terrible personality.
At this point, it boils down to whether I consider these issues to be real and significant for me, or if it's something that I'm over thinking and making a bigger deal out of than it is. This is what I'm trying to decide for myself.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Originally Posted by Lafleur
As I stated before, I don't think I'm ever going to find a woman who's going to be perfect both on the physical appearance and personality spectrums.
Perfect? No, of course not. But really really good? I would hope so.
I think you're really selling yourself short. There are loads of good, cool, fun women that are total babes out there. They're not always easy to make a connection with, that isn't easy, but they're out there.
As I stated before, I don't think I'm ever going to find a woman who's going to be perfect both on the physical appearance and personality spectrums. There will be flaws and there will be compromises made on both sides. With these women I spoke of earlier, it's almost to the point where I'm repulsed by the idea of being with them sexually. That's how little I'm attracted to them physically. Though this girl who I'm seeing has displayed some troubling characteristics, I do not feel absolutely repulsed by her either. I can't be with anyone who I'm repulsed by, either by their appearance or their terrible personality.
At this point, it boils down to whether I consider these issues to be real and significant for me, or if it's something that I'm over thinking and making a bigger deal out of than it is. This is what I'm trying to decide for myself.
OK, so because the idea of sex with her isn't repulsive (always a good metric ), you're wondering if you can talk yourself into overlooking some significant personality "mismatches", I"ll call them, to be diplomatic, because "nobody's perfect"? Oh, and also because the overall dating scene has been a nightmare for you, and you've lost patience with being alone?
Perfect? No, of course not. But really really good? I would hope so.
I think you're really selling yourself short. There are loads of good, cool, fun women that are total babes out there. They're not always easy to make a connection with, that isn't easy, but they're out there.
I'm sure there are. I'm just basing this off my dating experience over the last 11 years or so. When I was super-attracted to them, there were serious character flaws. When I was not physically attracted to them, they usually had pretty good personalities. When they seemed to have a better blend of both physical attractiveness and personality, they weren't into me (refer back to the girl on my kickball team who blew me off and is now dating another guy). I have yet to find anything in the middle that is really appealing to me or that is attracted to me.
Last year, when I was dating a lot more, most of the girls I met from OLD were significantly overweight (not just a few lbs) and unappealing and had dull personalities to top it off. And this is in Denver, one of the fittest cities in the country! It really left me with a bitter taste in my mouth with regards to dating. So that's why I guess my viewpoint on all this is so skewed and perhaps warped. I've never really observed what you're telling me is available throughout the course of my dating experience.
Last year, when I was dating a lot more, most of the girls I met from OLD were significantly overweight (not just a few lbs) and unappealing and had dull personalities to top it off. And this is in Denver, one of the fittest cities in the country! It really left me with a bitter taste in my mouth with regards to dating. So that's why I guess my viewpoint on all this is so skewed and perhaps warped. I've never really observed what you're telling me is available throughout the course of my dating experience.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lafleur
Yes, OKC.
I know there is some regionality to this, but by all accounts this is the best.
In the 00s I would have suggested Match, but I don't think its all that anymore since people have flocked to OKC. I know of two marriages from OKC this coming summer.
I haven't been to Denver, but I heard CO is pretty cool (it was a big destination place, there and Boulder, along with Portland in the 1990s), I would think going to shows/parties, etc would be a great way to meet people. That is what I did around your age (then grad school) when I was in Madison.
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), you're wondering if you can talk yourself into overlooking some significant personality "mismatches", I"ll call them, to be diplomatic, because "nobody's perfect"? Oh, and also because the overall dating scene has been a nightmare for you, and you've lost patience with being alone?