Who believes in the "No-Contact" rule? (love, husband, relations)

[Coolhand68]

I'm all for the no-contact route. Dwelling on an ex by looking at photos, reading old texts and emails, hanging around the places that the two of you shared memories together, are all going to keep you on the hook and slow down your healing process.

[skywalker2014]

Originally Posted by abrandnewme18

After a break up, should you go "no-contact" on your ex? By no contact I mean deleting their number (or perhaps blocking them), messages, voicemails, pictures, blocking them on all social media, getting rid of all gifts from them and basically everything that reminds you of them and never talk to them again. If you do this, should you go no-contact until you get over them or should you just go no-contact forever? Is there really a point with keeping in contact with an ex? I guess every situation is different, right?

Obviously if you have kids together that's different. But let's say you have no other ties to your ex. After you break up with your ex, you will never see them again unless you contact them or randomly see them.

Is the "no-contact" rule a good idea?

No contact with exes and former flames is the best policy.

Unless there is a genuine interest on a friendship which is pretty darn hard after being lovers.

I don't think you should go to extremes like blocking them if they are just quiet. You can call on "social events" like birthdays, new year, Christmas etc.

But try to keep a low key here.

Ain't referring about divorcees of course, with children involved. That's different.

[Dr. Clean]

Originally Posted by skywalker2014

I don't think you should go to extremes like blocking them if they are just quiet. You can call on "social events" like birthdays, new year, Christmas etc.

for personal experience, blocking, de-friending, unfollowing is really more of an effort to remove the temptation. if you wanna stalk them on social media, it makes you have to do a few more clicks (and maybe have your ex re-approve you friends request) in order to feed you curiosity about how they are doing... without you. best just to remove any evidence al together.

recently, it took me 2-3months to get to the point where random sudden feelings of sadness and memories of her just appeared. last weekend she texted me "cuz she knew i wasn't gonna call her" and we are already making plans to hang out again, although i think i now see it in perspective and can emotionally deal with it, i have to be cautious not to fall in love again (my bad, i'm nutz about this crazy hot woman and i just need to stop projecting a relationship with her. funny how some ppl do that to you, and others don't).

anyway, there is lots of good info on the internet about this, it's definitely good therapy

[49ersfan27]

I believe and I strictly enforce it. Whether it be women or friends.

[Osito]

Well I can say it certainly helped me.

[hal2814]

Friendly but not friends is my policy. We're not pals. We don't chat. We don't hang out. But I'm not going out of my way to avoid them. And I'm not going to create a socially awkward situation over them. I have a life to live and no ex is going to get in the way of that.

[MrQdotJ]

If we're done, we're done. Period... move on, plenty of people in this world to make new memories with.

[Fargobound]

I keep in casual contact with one ex. We’re never ever getting back together. It’s mostly a dog issue.

I do have a no returns policy that once another peen/tongue has gone after mine I don’t want it back. Some of you are thinking that’s crazy, what about the ones that came before? Well, I’m Ostrich and put my head in the ground.

[laorbust61]

Originally Posted by abrandnewme18

After a break up, should you go "no-contact" on your ex? By no contact I mean deleting their number (or perhaps blocking them), messages, voicemails, pictures, blocking them on all social media, getting rid of all gifts from them and basically everything that reminds you of them and never talk to them again. If you do this, should you go no-contact until you get over them or should you just go no-contact forever? Is there really a point with keeping in contact with an ex? I guess every situation is different, right?

Obviously if you have kids together that's different. But let's say you have no other ties to your ex. After you break up with your ex, you will never see them again unless you contact them or randomly see them.

Is the "no-contact" rule a good idea?

If a person's experience with the ex has been very dangerous, depressing, or otherwise toxic, I think no-contact is the only way to go. My ex of two and half years ago wanted to continue contact after we broke up, and I refused. It was just too painful for me to continue, and the pain was exacerbated by the fact that he was only doing it for ego gratification and to save his reputation as a "good guy" in our community. What he doesn't realize that he had already sullied his reputation by the way he dating women pretending to be serious about them, and then running away when he felt the relationship was progressing towards marriage. He did a cut-and-run on multiple women, so little does he realize there was no reputation left to protect or save.

Keeping contact with someone who has broken your heart can only lead to trouble and confusion in my view. If they don't like your decision, they should possibly consider that maybe they should have taken better care of their partner in the viable stages of the relationship. Don't look for a deep connection when the tie had to be severed. If you broke my heart, you have exposed yourself as a cruel, selfish person so why would I keep a place open in my life for you to return and hurt me more?

[Larry Siegel]

I think it's a terrible idea. Someone who was important in my life always will be at some level, and I value the ongoing contact whatever form it takes.