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Ehhh things are changing these days. Have to take it on a case by case basis.
As a man in my late 20's I was approached by several 40 something women.
I never once initiated any romance and would have never noticed them had they never showed interest.
The only thing that kept me from pursuing was that I was not physically attracted to them.
Age is just a number these days. Finding a suitable mate is becoming more and more difficult.
Being picky about age will only make the search even more difficult.
Tell that kids who parents date people their age.
In old days , it make sense men to get younger wives but now not so much.
A lot my age are not the level as 40 something because we are still finding ourselves.
If you take someone who is 30, and another person who is 50, there may not be much difference in their physical condition or life situation, and they could potentially be a good match at that point in their lives. But if you are looking at something that would be a life-long relationship, that age gap can make a big difference down the road.
I look at my parents, in their mid-eighties now, with an eight month age separation. They don't get around too well anymore. Mom needs a walker, Dad needs a cane. Neither is driving anymore. Cognitive abilities aren't what they used to be. But twenty years ago, when they were in their mid sixties, they were still driving, both had their own cars, Mom liked to take a dip in the swimming pool whenever she got a chance, or maybe go shopping. Dad took care of the yard & house maintenance. Now, neither is able to do any of those things at all, or if they can, they need assistance.
What a difference twenty years makes! Can you imagine if one was 85, and the other 65? The younger partner would have to be willing to help care for the older, feeble partner, and understand that the older partner could no longer participate in many of the activities they enjoyed together when they were young. The younger partner would really need to be dedicated to their older partner.
How is it denigrating women? First off I speak about women I am seeing *online* not women in general. This isn't about women vs men... I am not saying women are doing it and men are not, I have no information on what men do since I don't date men LOL! Men could be showing the same callousness and lack of etiquette but the context of my argument deals with women as that is who I deal with. I'm sure there could be just as many men online who are douchebags, as I said I have no idea...perhaps the women will pitch in with those experiences.
The bottom line is that all people men or women should show basic etiquette. And no this isn't subjective. It's like saying "Please" and "Thank you", it's universal.
It's denigrating because I'm on there too and men do THE EXACT SAME THING!
But I just assumed "everyone did." I would never assume "only men do this, men suck, men have become more entitled *pout*"
You wanna know why people do this? Here is the shockingly simple reason : it's easier to click 5 multiple choice answers first to expedite the process and then read your profile after.
The questions you choose are also telling of a person's character such as, "What would you do for me if I had a bad day?" Which makes me think, "Why are you having so many bad days and how come I'm supposed to solve them?"
I have some bizzare responses to my profile on EH. This has happened multiple times. I contact a woman and then she accepts the contact by responding to my "questions" (it appears as a notification on my phone... xxx has answered your first set of questions!). Later in the day when I get back home I choose to respond to her and she has already closed me out
Is this some kind of game that I am not aware about?
My guess is they are fake profiles used to keep you interested in the site. eHarmony is how I found out OLD sites use them to lure members in.
The last time I was on the site, I didn't pay for a subscription so I couldn't see anyone's picture. But I was being sent matches with the same name, same specific medical field job, just in different suburbs. 95% of my matches came with the banner they were outside of my settings but considered a good match. Those that didn't have the banner should have.
In 6 months, my profile was viewed 9 times before I closed it.
I started Plenty of Fish on Tuesday, and had one date already and another set for Saturday.
I have more woment contacting me in a few days then I did on tinder, E harmony, and match combined.
Its the first one that has worked well for me.
FYI Eharmony has a free weekend right now up until the end of tomorrow, also you might be able to score a $6.95 a month plan for 3 months package, which is what I snagged up. They never had that good of a deal years ago, I wonder if the site has lost a lot of users over the years. So far it's been a complete waste of time and no match that I'm attracted to is communicating with me...I'll give it time though. I spent about 2 hours on there yesterday going through all my matches that I've amassed over about the past 4 months.
I am polite. I do make myself stand out, I believe I have a pretty interesting profile. I have got dates and women who I went out with specifically mentioned that they found me really interesting...I am quoting women verbatim. I don't guage success in the # of dates I get, I measure success in the fact that the result is a relationship and I am OFF the site. It seems most are serial daters on these sites.
I have indeed had success in the past, both my ex girlfriends were people I met online. One relationship lasted over a year, the other two and a half years. Whereas in my 30s I got a ton of interest, since I turned 41 i'm not getting any hits. I am still the same person but looks like there is some stigma with my age.
In any case I don't feel sorry for myself, thankfully I have a fantastic life, I have a great career, I make a ****load of money, I am very financially secure, I have very diverse interests and hobbies, I am very well traveled, very well educated, treat women very well, have been very generous with not only the women I have had a relationship with but also with women I have dated and both my exes desperately wanted to get married to me - I could not marry them for various other reasons but at least I know I have some appeal even if the women on EH choose not to respond to me
You're describing yourself as a 40-something, wealthy renaissance man. Well, great. But I'm wondering what age range you're going for and what your photos show. Because if you're 41 and targeting 25-year-olds on EH, well, that's not gonna fly for most.
But I do wonder what other vibes you're giving off in your profile. Because here you're lamenting the failure of common courtesy, but really that just seems silly. You have your answer if you don't hear from them. And if you've already gotten so invested that a failure to respond to an email leaves you so butthurt you don't know what it says about women in general...
Dude, lighten up - this grousing just makes you look insecure. This is online dating. I'm 39. I message men frequently when I've got a profile set up. I don't think twice when someone doesn't respond or someone drops out suddenly on our conversations. They're strangers. And until I establish a IRL connection with them, they're just a nice picture and an interesting profile. They don't signify beyond that, and they certainly don't owe me anything, not even common courtesy. And part of that is because common courtesy in the virtual world is a matter of great debate with no clear rules or guidelines.
Stop sounding like you're in your 70s. That might help.
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