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Old 04-15-2015, 06:22 PM
 
1,324 posts, read 2,005,481 times
Reputation: 1074

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Quote:
Originally Posted by iknowftbll View Post
One of the best things to ever happen to me was that I was "domesticated" by my wife.
...

Being "domesticated" and even deferring to one's wife does not mean it's a horrible marital arrangement. I try to defer more often than not because I try to measure the extent to which I am willing to disagree with her on some issues. When I take the time to think about it, it's usually not too many issues that warrant disagreement. Plus she defers on a lot of things, too. It balances out.
well you describe a storybook relationship, do you mind sharing your age group and whether you have observed if your experience is consistent with those of your peer group or near same age range?

CDR doesn't offer a method to distinguish demographic differences (e.g., subforums), as if there should be none i guess.

anyway, recent information indicates your experience is becoming less common:

More than half of all gray divorces [25%] are to couples in first marriages. Indeed, 55 percent of gray divorces are between couples who’d been married for more than 20 years.

“We found that flabbergasting,” Brown said.

Till Death Do Us Part? No way. Gray Divorce on the Rise - The Washington Post

and for the sake of establishing generational differences, here's a classic:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=abGzxWuLQP8
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Old 04-15-2015, 06:47 PM
 
Location: Virginia Beach, VA
11,157 posts, read 13,926,917 times
Reputation: 14935
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Clean View Post
well you describe a storybook relationship, do you mind sharing your age group and whether you have observed if your experience is consistent with those of your peer group or near same age range?

CDR doesn't offer a method to distinguish demographic differences (e.g., subforums), as if there should be none i guess.

anyway, recent information indicates your experience is becoming less common:

More than half of all gray divorces [25%] are to couples in first marriages. Indeed, 55 percent of gray divorces are between couples who’d been married for more than 20 years.

“We found that flabbergasting,” Brown said.

Till Death Do Us Part? No way. Gray Divorce on the Rise - The Washington Post

and for the sake of establishing generational differences, here's a classic:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=abGzxWuLQP8
I'm 34 and my wife is 28. How we specifically interact with each other is definitely unique to us, but the idea of yielding to each other in any given situation is consistent with many of our friends, too.
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Old 04-15-2015, 06:49 PM
 
1,324 posts, read 2,005,481 times
Reputation: 1074
Quote:
Originally Posted by iknowftbll View Post
I'm 34 and my wife is 28. How we specifically interact with each other is definitely unique to us, but the idea of yielding to each other in any given situation is consistent with many of our friends, too.

thanks, you've earned my respect. consider yourself one of the lucky ones.
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Old 04-15-2015, 07:31 PM
 
Location: Virginia Beach, VA
11,157 posts, read 13,926,917 times
Reputation: 14935
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Clean View Post
thanks, you've earned my respect. consider yourself one of the lucky ones.
Believe me, I do. And despite being what many men would consider thoroughly "p-whipped" I am extremely secure in my manhood. In fact, I would pit my manhood against pretty much anyone. Not because I am the biggest, strongest, richest, best looking, best educated, most humorous, (and so on and so forth) guy out there, but because to me what other men think of me means jack schitt. Zilch. Nada. No es importante. I do not need validation from other men, refuse to seek it, and won't fret when I don't get it. Especially some of the "men" here on CD-R, but certainly not limited to them. It is really quite liberating.

I'm glad OP has realized her question was a silly thing to worry about. It wasn't a stupid question, especially since it has helped her flush out what is really important to her. Seems this was a conversation worth having.
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Old 04-15-2015, 07:40 PM
 
1,324 posts, read 2,005,481 times
Reputation: 1074
Quote:
Originally Posted by iknowftbll View Post
Believe me, I do. And despite being what many men would consider thoroughly "p-whipped" I am extremely secure in my manhood. In fact, I would pit my manhood against pretty much anyone. Not because I am the biggest, strongest, richest, best looking, best educated, most humorous, (and so on and so forth) guy out there, but because to me what other men think of me means jack schitt. Zilch. Nada. No es importante. I do not need validation from other men, refuse to seek it, and won't fret when I don't get it. Especially some of the "men" here on CD-R, but certainly not limited to them. It is really quite liberating.

I'm glad OP has realized her question was a silly thing to worry about. It wasn't a stupid question, especially since it has helped her flush out what is really important to her. Seems this was a conversation worth having.

well that's the alchemy i'm pushing: mindset determines relationship balance. without it, the relationship becomes unbalanced.

sounds like you got it, be sure to keep it cuz the feminine propensity to change a man and his lifestyle can be relentless, and slow and subtle.
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Old 04-15-2015, 07:49 PM
 
Location: Virginia Beach, VA
11,157 posts, read 13,926,917 times
Reputation: 14935
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Clean View Post
well that's the alchemy i'm pushing: mindset determines relationship balance. without it, the relationship becomes unbalanced.

sounds like you got it, be sure to keep it cuz the feminine propensity to change a man and his lifestyle can be relentless, and slow and subtle.
I am not sure I fully agree with the "feminine propensity to change a man." Maybe there's something to it, or maybe it's we men changing ourselves as we age. I was 25 when we got married, I'll be 35 next month. Some things are just not important to me anymore. I had a brand spankin' new Mustang back then because driving a cool car was important to me. I still drive that same car because now having a car that is paid off is important to me. I had an apartment that was a bachelor's pad among bachelor's pads. Now there is little to no trace of that version of me. Did she change me? Maybe. In fact, definitely. But nobody changes unwillingly, and that implies they are changing themselves. Besides, she has changed quite a bit over the years, too and some of that due to my influence. So it's not a one-way street. We both change, partially due to the other's influence, partially due to natural changes in ourselves. And hopefully we are changing for the better.
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Old 04-15-2015, 07:53 PM
 
2,142 posts, read 3,037,550 times
Reputation: 12193
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Clean View Post
thanks, you've earned my respect. consider yourself one of the lucky ones.
Well if you two are going to be mature about this, I'm taking my popcorn elsewhere.
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Old 04-15-2015, 07:56 PM
 
Location: Virginia Beach, VA
11,157 posts, read 13,926,917 times
Reputation: 14935
Quote:
Originally Posted by reebo View Post
Well if you two are going to be mature about this, I'm taking my popcorn elsewhere.
Sorry. Every once in a while we actually have a mature, serious, adult-like conversation around here. Don't worry though, we'll return you to your regularly scheduled drama soon enough!
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Old 04-15-2015, 08:00 PM
 
9,511 posts, read 5,349,206 times
Reputation: 9092
What the hell?????

My ex wife taught me how to use a sewing machine. I taught her how to work the thermostat and how to work with electricity.

Nothing wrong with it.
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Old 04-15-2015, 08:03 PM
 
9,511 posts, read 5,349,206 times
Reputation: 9092
Quote:
Believe me, I do. And despite being what many men would consider thoroughly "p-whipped" I am extremely secure in my manhood. In fact, I would pit my manhood against pretty much anyone. Not because I am the biggest, strongest, richest, best looking, best educated, most humorous, (and so on and so forth) guy out there, but because to me what other men think of me means jack schitt. Zilch. Nada. No es importante. I do not need validation from other men, refuse to seek it, and won't fret when I don't get it. Especially some of the "men" here on CD-R, but certainly not limited to them. It is really quite liberating.
Congrats!!! I couldn't care less either.
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