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I'm sorry NV. She's under some good care right now so that should bring you some comfort. You're a good guy for standing beside her. It's just a battle you can't fight right now. Do some things you'd like to do and know that you're worthy of anything that makes you happy..
Have you ever read Edgar Rice Burroughs green flute? Mmmm... As it stands, I have a "job" to do. First, I need to center. Look at what matters. Stay alive. What comes after.. has already been decided. Good fortune to all. Thank you for your council.
Have you ever read Edgar Rice Burroughs green flute? Mmmm... As it stands, I have a "job" to do. First, I need to center. Look at what matters. Stay alive. What comes after.. has already been decided. Good fortune to all. Thank you for your council.
This has been...
... a journey. I am sad for the both of you.
Yeah, do what you need to do. Build your life, and live it. Don't look back. Her "friends" did something disgusting to her.
She was traumatized and all, but she had to know what she was walking into. It is sad, but trauma survivors tend to go back to the very thing that caused the trauma to begin with.
Yeah, do what you need to do. Build your life, and live it. Don't look back. Her "friends" did something disgusting to her.
She was traumatized and all, but she had to know what she was walking into. It is sad, but trauma survivors tend to go back to the very thing that caused the trauma to begin with.
I'm back at the ranch. Took a drive up north, visited with a friend on the Te Moak I haven't seen in ...a while. Last we spent time was tracking a stock killing cat, an old tom, we bonded hard on that hunt. All three of us. He says Im on a "dream walk,". That I have been given a task. Something I held dear, had to be given up, had to die. So something can be gained. Not for me, for the good of all. I'm just the worker bee. I have to follow directions. Do what I'm handed to do. My grief, loss, wtfe, is my map. It may not be away to read, but I'm the only one who can make sense of it, in the end. Then, he laughed, went all "civilized" on me. Said I should write a book. Be a best seller he says. Lol...white people dig this kind of ****. Ohhh Gaqwwwd.! Maybe it was the pipe as were sharing. . It worked, whatever it was. We both laughed. Before things got plumb serious again.
What's done is done. Now I'm sitting here with my dogs and a rank stud colt, stars shining, its not as quiet in a ranch as Hollywood makes it out to be. The noise is just..different. The person who brought me back from the edge, went over, instead of me. Now I take the walk for both of us. My Buddy helped me focus. I'm where I need to be right now, and so is my lady.
Different hospitals..different medicines..different doctors. I love her still. I couldn't save her. She was battered and abused, on my watch. That's what I'm trying most to cope with. I keep blaming myself. My buddy tells me that's not truth. No blame. He says. Just what happened. I wasn't there when any of it went down. But...I have things to do now. What's ahead, is what matters. Starlight... star bright. So many stars out tonight. Like my friend said, I'm just a beat up white boy hangin' on the Red, wishing things were different. Lol...love that guy. And j should write it all down and publish it..lol white people dig that ****. Maybe I'll cut him in on the royalties. Lol..least I could do. My Indin pal is a wise man.
Last edited by NVplumber; 04-19-2015 at 11:43 PM..
I'm back at the ranch. Took a drive up north, visited with a friend on the Te Moak I haven't seen in ...a while. Last we spent time was tracking a stock killing cat, an old tom, we bonded hard on that hunt. All three of us. He says Im on a "dream walk,". That I have been given a task. Something I held dear, had to be given up, had to die. So something can be gained. Not for me, for the good of all. I'm just the worker bee. I have to follow directions. Do what I'm handed to do. My grief, loss, wtfe, is my map. It may not be away to read, but I'm the only one who can make sense of it, in the end. Then, he laughed, went all "civilized" on me. Said I should write a book. Be a best seller he says. Lol...white people dig this kind of ****. Ohhh Gaqwwwd.! Maybe it was the pipe as were sharing. . It worked, whatever it was. We both laughed. Before things got plumb serious again.
What's done is done. Now I'm sitting here with my dogs and a rank stud colt, stars shining, its not as quiet in a ranch as Hollywood makes it out to be. The noise is just..different. The person who brought me back from the edge, went over, instead of me. Now I take the walk for both of us. My Buddy helped me focus. I'm where I need to be right now, and so is my lady.
Different hospitals..different medicines..different doctors. I love her still. I couldn't save her. She was battered and abused, on my watch. That's what I'm trying most to cope with. I keep blaming myself. My buddy tells me that's not truth. No blame. He says. Just what happened. I wasn't there when any of it went down. But...I have things to do now. What's ahead, is what matters. Starlight... star bright. So many stars out tonight. Like my friend said, I'm just a beat up white boy hangin' on the Red, wishing things were different. Lol...love that guy. And j should write it all down and publish it..lol white people dig that ****. Maybe I'll cut him in on the royalties. Lol..least I could do. My Indin pal is a wise man.
Well, your situation was rather riveting and your wording often sounded like something I would hear from a film noir.
But for what its worth, I have a similar situation with my friend. I'm losing her, and I'm going to have to let go. As a matter of fact, what was written about what you hold dear having to die for some gain for all, not necessarily for me, helped me a lot. I see I'm just that worker bee, and I have to give up my friend.
In a way, it is worse because I feel neither of us are where we need to be.
Well, your situation was rather riveting and your wording often sounded like something I would hear from a film noir.
But for what its worth, I have a similar situation with my friend. I'm losing her, and I'm going to have to let go. As a matter of fact, what was written about what you hold dear having to die for some gain for all, not necessarily for me, helped me a lot. I see I'm just that worker bee, and I have to give up my friend.
In a way, it is worse because I feel neither of us are where we need to be.
Just called my friend out and I feel horrible, she doesn't want to talk to me anymore, ever again, but It needed to be done.
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. It worked, whatever it was. We both laughed. Before things got plumb serious again.
