Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Everytime I've left my comfort zone, I've had major anxiety attacks...believe me, it's not something I would wish on anyone.
Even if I went ahead and did it, I would constantly be thinking she was cheating on me and that sort of thing.
Quote:
Originally Posted by PortisKing
Unless I want to live the rest of my life depending on highly addictive meds, no. The only thing I can do is to try to live a stable, uneventful life to keep it under control.
bull. medications are dispensed these days like candy. you have to take control of your life. grab it by the horns and wrestle it to the ground.
You appear to be comfortable and happy in your skin.
The only way I would challenge that anxiety of letting a woman into your bubble is if your heart tells you so. Whether you believe in the corny soul mate stuff, if that day comes when you meet a woman that drills right through, maybe that's the time to try and step out and get over any rooted fears you may have.
If you are in your early 30s with no kids, a good job, a house, a car, and in reasonable shape, there should be women throwing themselves at you left and right. If that isn't happening, there is something seriously wrong. I suggest you try to find out what that is. Ask your friends and trusted family to be honest with you even if it will hurt. You need to know what the problem is before you can correct it.
I don't buy that you are happy with the way things are.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,935,179 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by dysgenic
If you are in your early 30s with no kids, a good job, a house, a car, and in reasonable shape, there should be women throwing themselves at you left and right. If that isn't happening, there is something seriously wrong. I suggest you try to find out what that is. Ask your friends and trusted family to be honest with you even if it will hurt. You need to know what the problem is before you can correct it.
I don't buy that you are happy with the way things are.
That's more than a bit of a stretch. I had those things after grad school (minus the house, I had an apartment, no single people can afford houses here), and there was definitely no one throwing themselves at me. That pretty rarely happens no matter how much you have your stuff together.
bull. medications are dispensed these days like candy. you have to take control of your life. grab it by the horns and wrestle it to the ground.
But isn't that what he is doing? He is making a conscious choice to be happy and content. His needs may change later in life... but that's fine too. He can choose a different path later. If a woman sees him and accepts him for who he is, she will make an effort to make emotional contact as well. Which is fine as well.
If he made these choices further damage his quality of life, then that's a different matter.
As a side note: Telling someone dealing with mental health issues with notions of "deal with it", "just do it", and "pull yourself up by the bootstraps" is rarely helpful. It's empty advice. But I will agree (and speaking out of experience)! Doctors over prescribe these very dangerous (and complex) drugs as a false panacea for these type of problems. People should still seek help but be wary when a therapist immediately starts writing scripts. When I first found CD, I found the mental health forum here very informative. Its a place to start.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,935,179 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by usayit
But isn't that what he is doing? He is making a conscious choice to be happy and content. His needs may change later in life... but that's fine too. He can choose a different path later. If a woman sees him and accepts him for who he is, she will make an effort to make emotional contact as well. Which is fine as well.
I think most people very much doubt the sincerity of his being happy and content if he felt the need to go to an anonymous forum and seek validation from others on his decisions.
That's more than a bit of a stretch. I had those things after grad school (minus the house, I had an apartment, no single people can afford houses here), and there was definitely no one throwing themselves at me. That pretty rarely happens no matter how much you have your stuff together.
How old were you after grad school?
There is a huge difference between a 25yr old and 33yr old. As men age they become more and more in demand.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,935,179 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by dysgenic
How old were you after grad school?
There is a huge difference between a 25yr old and 33yr old. As men age they become more and more in demand.
I think I was 31 when I finished. I did undergrad, then worked for a number of years, established residency, went part time for a couple of years then full time the last year. So, yeah, 31 when I finished my masters. Got a pretty decent job fairly soon.
But despite being able to date with relative ease throughout my 30s (yeah, it was WAY better than my 20s), there was never, ever anyone throwing themselves at me. Just doesn't happen with dudes, or not 90% of us.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
