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I wonder as well. But its not just with sex, problems in the relationship seem to all point at men. If a woman doesn't want to have sex then the man should romance her, pamper her, take care of her, understand her, be sensitive towards her needs, do house chores, etc. If a man doesn't want sex...he's wrong. And same with other relationship issues as you can see around here.
Not sure why a woman's sex drive or how she enjoys it depends on how great the guy is in and out of bed as female posters have commented here. Gotta blame someone, huh?
LOL! No, Onihc, it's not about buying presents and doing chores. It's about learning how she specifically wants you to go down on her, how she likes to be touched, using toys, trying new positions. Your sexual technique. Hammering away for 20 minutes doesn't cut it for a lot of women.
I've been in relationships where the sex is bad, and it kills desire. Then I've been in ones where its good, and the person makes me feel attractive, and it goes through the roof.
I thinks its pretty normal that if you're having sex and its good, and you're feeling attractive, that desire increases a great deal.
Not sure why this is being played as a male/female thing.
It isn't really though, according to studies. The damage inflicted is, but not the violent actions. There a multiple published studies out there showing domestic violence is done by women at a higher rate than men (but women get hurt more at a rate of about 3X).
Good point! I should not have made it a gender issue.
I was just saying that often a women's sex drive fluctuates more than a males.a woman's sex drive can be made higher by a variety of factors, including better and more sex. I know many happily celibate women who meet the right person and get a higher sex drive. Especially widows.
A males sex drive can be increased or decreased too. ( although I still think it has less severe highs and lows)
I know I've f-ed up plenty of times in relationships, too!
It's nice to see a woman admit she makes mistakes in relationships too. We learn from our mistakes and move on.
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Originally Posted by CrueRulz
women generally (I speak as one) have a larger "dropoff" after that honeymoon phase ends.
Exactly. It’s nothing new really to hear that once women get married they experience a dropoff. Of course there are exceptions.
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Originally Posted by Meyerland
A female who is with a male who isn't interested in foreplay or anything beyond the basics is at a disadvantage. they both need to work on their issues if they are in a relationship. It is a two way street.
What mistake do you think women do when it comes to sex? I am not sure if women sometimes wonder they can also do plenty mistakes in bed like men.
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I think the point of the posters is that a man who wants more sex from their partner can help build that desire. A woman is more complicated and it does take skill from both parties to have a successful Union. The release of chemicals in the females brain can be very addicting, but if they never feel that rush of chemicals it makes it harder to increase desire
A man has to do quite a lot to convince a woman to be excited about having sex or to help build that desire, you are right. A lot of the responsibility lies on the man, unfair or not.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Meyerland
I was just saying that often a women's sex drive fluctuates more than a males.a woman's sex drive can be made higher by a variety of factors, including better and more sex. I know many happily celibate women who meet the right person and get a higher sex drive. Especially widows.
That may be true. I've known many women whose drive varies a ton depending on where they are in their cycle as well.
That may be true. I've known many women whose drive varies a ton depending on where they are in their cycle as well.
That is the truth! Studies women ovulate they make different choices in clothes, make up and behavior. It's crazy to think that some hormones can affect our behavior without us even realizing it.
OniHC- Women can and do make mistakes in the bedroom. I won't get into details, but bedroom issues are not the males fault entirely. It does take two. However, a male that is unconcerned about the females pleasure will decrease the females sex drive in general. A female that is only tolerating relations may lower the sex drive for that male towards that particular female. The males overall sex drive remains constant for other women, if that makes sense.
Women secrete chemicals in their brain from good relations and this is what increases their sex drive. Men have testosterone driving their sex drive and that is just part of their biology. Thus men with low T generally have low libido. He could be with someone spectacular, and still have low libido.
Some women have high sex drives, but it is complex and not as straightforward as a males drive. Some women have low sex drives. It just depends on a variety of factors, one being who they choose to be with.
Last edited by Meyerland; 04-14-2015 at 12:14 PM..
Its impossible to tell what a woman's true sex drive is until you've been married awhile. Many women will have sex to get and keep a man, and hopefully marry them. Its only after marriage, when the honeymoon phase is over that most men will find out what they really have. For example, I had one friend who was getting married and told me she was what he always wanted, cause she was ready every day. I saw him about 6 months after he got married, and I asked him how it was going. He said they were already down to 3 times a week.
That being said, even through marriage, sex drive will vary depending on health, children, job, and quality of the marriage. Some wives might well find a renewed sex drive after the kids all leave the house.
But, in most cases, women's sex drive will not near match that of most men. When I was a salesman, I lost count of the number of men who complained about their sex life. I only knew one guy who had a wife that wanted it every day, and his wife was so rare most guys considered her like finding the "Holy Grail.
LOL! No, Onihc, it's not about buying presents and doing chores. It's about learning how she specifically wants you to go down on her, how she likes to be touched, using toys, trying new positions. Your sexual technique. Hammering away for 20 minutes doesn't cut it for a lot of women.
Yes. There’s a lot of things guys have to do to please women, make her have a high sex drive, make her want to be interested in sex, etc. Yes it might be a guy’s responsibility as many have commented but you a guy has to do what he has to do to get to enjoy that. So why not. The whole buying presents and doing chores among many other things men have to do to get permission to have sex was about situations where a wife doesn’t want to have sex and how when it’s the other way around it is still a man’s responsibility or he is doing something wrong. It has been mentioned in this thread, and others, that it pretty much a guy’s responsibility/duty.
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Originally Posted by JustJulia
Sure, but let's not pretend a man's risk is close to a woman's risk.
Bigger or not, the risk is there. If you really want something you will look for ways to get it. If you don’t, you’ll just come up with reasons not to do something. It has been agreed before that women do not need to put any effort, money, romancing, commitment, etc. to get sex so it is not really necessary to look for a stranger. It can be a long time friend, a long time coworker, an ex, etc. All it takes is a phone call or text message and bingo! That is, if a woman had the same desire sex/drive as a typical man but women just don’t. There are exceptions of course.
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But yes, generally men do have a higher drive because of testosterone
Yes. It may be a reason why gay men have the highest percentage of sexual activity and it does make sense. I mean, have a guy that wants sex go for another guy who will typically want it as well and there you go. No need of commitments, romancing, money, dates, bonding, no headaches, no nonsense, no drama, its just sex and they’ll go at it.
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Agreed. But we can often handle multiple orgasms with no refractory (rest/get ready) period, while men often cannot
Exactly. Women have the capacity to enjoy multiple orgasms, more intense and longer orgasms, an organ who’s sole and exclusive purpose is sexual pleasure (clitoris), a clitoris that has double/triple the nerve endings compared to a penis making it a little volcano of toe-curling passion, more erogenous zones in the body, and so on. That’s how the man upstairs designed it for women.
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Women tend to bond to men during sex more than the other way around
Makes men sound like horn dogs animals with no feelings but hey, it is what it is.
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Sex drive is not just about "often." Are three quickies with one brief orgasm for her totalling 45 minutes "better" or "more" than one 45-minute session where she climaxes four times but he only does once?
Believe it or not, men can also have bad sex. We hear about men who don’t last, have erectile dysfunction, don’t do much foreplay, among many other mistakes we can make but we rarely talk about all the mistakes women do as well or women mention they have been failures in bed. Still, a guy will still want to do it regardless of being a quickie or a long session. It’s sex! I guess men cannot be that picky between having quickies or not when it requires effort, work, money, and romancing to get it. So yes, at least we can agree that men do have a higher sex drive and desire than women.
Yes. There’s a lot of things guys have to do to please women, make her have a high sex drive, make her want to be interested in sex, etc. Yes it might be a guy’s responsibility as many have commented but you a guy has to do what he has to do to get to enjoy that. So why not. The whole buying presents and doing chores among many other things men have to do to get permission to have sex was about situations where a wife doesn’t want to have sex and how when it’s the other way around it is still a man’s responsibility or he is doing something wrong. It has been mentioned in this thread, and others, that it pretty much a guy’s responsibility/duty.
Bigger or not, the risk is there. If you really want something you will look for ways to get it. If you don’t, you’ll just come up with reasons not to do something. It has been agreed before that women do not need to put any effort, money, romancing, commitment, etc. to get sex so it is not really necessary to look for a stranger. It can be a long time friend, a long time coworker, an ex, etc. All it takes is a phone call or text message and bingo! That is, if a woman had the same desire sex/drive as a typical man but women just don’t. There are exceptions of course.
Yes. It may be a reason why gay men have the highest percentage of sexual activity and it does make sense. I mean, have a guy that wants sex go for another guy who will typically want it as well and there you go. No need of commitments, romancing, money, dates, bonding, no headaches, no nonsense, no drama, its just sex and they’ll go at it.
Exactly. Women have the capacity to enjoy multiple orgasms, more intense and longer orgasms, an organ who’s sole and exclusive purpose is sexual pleasure (clitoris), a clitoris that has double/triple the nerve endings compared to a penis making it a little volcano of toe-curling passion, more erogenous zones in the body, and so on. That’s how the man upstairs designed it for women.
Makes men sound like horn dogs animals with no feelings but hey, it is what it is.
Believe it or not, men can also have bad sex. We hear about men who don’t last, have erectile dysfunction, don’t do much foreplay, among many other mistakes we can make but we rarely talk about all the mistakes women do as well or women mention they have been failures in bed. Still, a guy will still want to do it regardless of being a quickie or a long session. It’s sex! I guess men cannot be that picky between having quickies or not when it requires effort, work, money, and romancing to get it. So yes, at least we can agree that men do have a higher sex drive and desire than women.
Yes, we can make mistakes too. Not saying these are all things I've done, but in general, women can be "bad in bed" by being prudish, uncomfortable with their bodies, unenthisiastic, unwilling to try anything outside of a single position, or, as I've seen in a longtime "bff" of mine - simply a bad attitude about sex that usually comes from an upbringing where sex was either never discussed, or something "bad" or "naughty" or "something good girls don't do".
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