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You know that feeling when you first meet someone special. You make that eye contact. Yeah they're the "one". You two start dating. Share all of your most intimate stories and secrets. You two soon move in together. Get married. Have kids. But at some point something in the relationship goes wrong. You two begin arguing over petty stuff. You soon can't stand to be around each other. It starts to get physical. It ends up in a nasty divorce with you two hating each other and with him paying $500 a month in child support payments. Ever witness something like that happen?
The bolded part is quite the assumption and pretty disturbing.
Why do you assume it's always going to fizzle? I think most relationships go through hard times, but if you really love the other person, then you commit to working it out no matter what it takes. It's impossible to have a smooth sailing relationship with anyone 100% of the time. I've had arguments with friends, family, everyone important in my life. I admit it can be hard to know when the other person is just plain wrong for you, and when you should hang in there, but I suspect there are a lot of relationships that could have been saved if both parties put some effort into it.
I use to believe that working it out would work. There comes a time when your spouse is not meeting your needs and stops trying. I think you should also try to date your spouse. Keep the romance alive if not your relationship will fizzle.
My husband stopped meeting my needs 1 year into our marriage.
I'm new to the relationship thing. So I wouldn't know. I'd go with my aunt and her husband. They were quite romantic with each other up until like the 7th year, where their intimacy sort of started to taper off. They're still together, though, after 15 years. They do love each other, but they're not so "lovey-dovey".
OP, some couples loose their chemistry and affection and some do not. So the poll cannot be answered because because this scenario is anything but universally true. It's not even a majority.
Quote:
Originally Posted by rrah
The bolded part is quite the assumption and pretty disturbing.
If you're talking about the love sick, romantic rose colored glasses that two people in love wear when they first become a couple, its usually gone after two years. After that its more a matter of the mind. You have to make a commitment to commit and keep your promises. If its all based on "feelings", then its two years tops.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by caliguy92832
You know that feeling when you first meet someone special. You make that eye contact. Yeah they're the "one". You two start dating. Share all of your most intimate stories and secrets. You two soon move in together. Get married. Have kids. But at some point something in the relationship goes wrong. You two begin arguing over petty stuff. You soon can't stand to be around each other. It starts to get physical. It ends up in a nasty divorce with you two hating each other and with him paying $500 a month in child support payments. Ever witness something like that happen?
For me it was 20 years and more like $1,500+ in child support.
OP, some couples loose their chemistry and affection and some do not. So the poll cannot be answered because because this scenario is anything but universally true. It's not even a majority.
The whole thing is quite an assumption.
I agree.
Quote:
Originally Posted by augiedogie
If you're talking about the love sick, romantic rose colored glasses that two people in love wear when they first become a couple, its usually gone after two years. After that its more a matter of the mind. You have to make a commitment to commit and keep your promises. If its all based on "feelings", then its two years tops.
Speak for yourself! I don't have to try to love my husband and my "feelings" for him are as strong as they ever were.
Maybe the problem here is that the relationship got kicked off by merely eyeballing someone and deciding on that basis that they're "the one". Ya think? No concern to deeper compatibility issues at that stage before deciding someone's "the one" will see compatibility issues surface later on at some point.
This!
There are people out there who are so oogly googly, overly infatuated, disregarding that they are not compatible on many other aspects and after the honeymoon stage wears off, they wonder why they got married in the first place and then they divorce.
Though, OP, "fizzled out" relationship isn't a reason for divorce IMO, but "getting physical", I'm assuming hitting, ya, that's grounds for divorce, whether it fizzled out or not.
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So the poll cannot be answered because because this scenario is anything but universally true. It's not even a majority. 
