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Old 04-18-2015, 10:39 AM
 
Location: Middle of the valley
48,436 posts, read 34,627,532 times
Reputation: 73585

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lafleur View Post
Smile!

Some people don't realize how effective this can be, in any situation for that matter. When I'm having a bad day and someone smiles and nods to me, it does make me feel a little better.

I think it's a great starting point.
That's not RBF. That's just your face's natural "resting" spot. When you're animated then you don't look like a mean person.

I have to watch my RBF when in meetings and stuff, if I don't consciously try to "set" a small smile on my face and "crinkle" up my eyes (like when in a full smile) attendees think I am a cranky. Which isn't what I want to convey when they are talking.

I smile at people all the time in public because those are interactive moments.

When I was single, my mood had a direct effect on how many guys asked me out. Bubbly and happy versus tired and just want to get my stuff done. World of difference.
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Old 04-18-2015, 10:51 AM
 
Location: Springfield
709 posts, read 764,608 times
Reputation: 1486
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ashleyga View Post
lol typical CD fashion ... dredge up some old posts and completely disregard the the posters' comments.

Who cares if she has a boyfriend or not? It's really none of your business.
So much anger directed toward internet strangers...

We're all deeply concerned with the relationship status of all the "hot" women on this forum. And why would someone with a "great" boyfriend want guys hitting on her?
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Old 04-18-2015, 10:54 AM
 
Location: Springfield
709 posts, read 764,608 times
Reputation: 1486
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stephy0519 View Post
Nope. We've broken up. He couldn't handle my success--literally. He would never be able to financially take care of me--and it freaked him out, he is old school in thinking that he has to monetarily take care of his "woman." I told him time and time again, I just wanted an emotional equal and someone who could make me laugh (which he did) and that I just wanted him happy in what he did. He was also younger and never trusted his own opinion and gut. It's sad--he is a really great, sweet guy...he just had no confidence in himself. I suppose technically we are on a "break"...but I don't believe in the merrit of those and we haven't talked in a while. I'm an adult...not in high school and fully believe if you are confident in yourself and your opinions, you should know what you want.

So, I've been doing my own thing (not dating...just more running, solo dinners, etc.) However, even prior to him, I was never approached. And, I actually approached him first (he was a friend of a friend, initially.)
Got it - all substance and no cash.
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Old 04-18-2015, 11:02 AM
 
Location: St. Catharines, ON
718 posts, read 614,534 times
Reputation: 1024
Quote:
Originally Posted by troymclure View Post
So much anger directed toward internet strangers...

We're all deeply concerned with the relationship status of all the "hot" women on this forum. And why would someone with a "great" boyfriend want guys hitting on her?
There's no anger. It's just none of your business.

Hot women with boyfriends get hit on all the time. It's not really about wanting it
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Old 04-18-2015, 11:29 AM
 
Location: Lansing, MI
2,948 posts, read 7,006,807 times
Reputation: 3271
Quote:
Originally Posted by RoseLikeAnyOther View Post
^ the theory that average women get more cumulative male attention sounds plausible to me i.e. guys below them, guys on their level, and guys above them who see them as easy pickings
While the so-called "super hot" women get attention from only guys who are brave enough to make that attempt
I'm going to chime in on the theory of the "average, girl next door type" - the perceived success of this type of woman is based on region. In my area, the girl next door type is also the back burner girl... the last resort when nothing better comes along. In my area, as a 30-something, the only way you're getting a date is if you're extremely extroverted (and doing the asking) + child free. If you are introverted and/or have a child, you're not getting a date if you're looking for a man with substance. If you want a freeloading man that you don't expect to be gainfully employed, sure .. dime a dozen. But, no man of substance.

My sister and I are both single, she's never married and I am divorced with a child. We're average - we both have cute features. We're both successful women in our careers. We have our sh** together for the most part. She is the adventurous type that will travel the world. We've also had many other good friends, also fairly average women, that have been the same as us - divorced with a kid and/or super introverted. All of us have remained single with no dates. I know many other women that fit the same criteria as above, and they have also remained single and dateless.

It just gets to the point where we accept that the men in our area are chasing the unicorns, and to consider us they would have to "settle" - which no man or woman should do! So, we trudge on in our single lives. I have no mislead notions that I'll ever be not single at this point.
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Old 04-18-2015, 11:32 AM
 
9,301 posts, read 8,323,898 times
Reputation: 7328
Quote:
Originally Posted by newdixiegirl View Post
Are there attractive women - even very attractive women - who are alone but would love to be in good relationships with men? Of course there are. LOTS of them. And only men who view women in a two-dimensional fashion will think otherwise.

It gets so tiring listening to the argument that "hot" women have it made, because they get so much attention. Well, what kind of attention would we be talking about? And what difference does it make how many men will "step up," if few of those men are quality men looking for real relationships? What if she's not sufficiently attracted to any of those men? She still ends up alone, does she not? She certainly does IF she's a quality woman who would rather be alone than in a poor quality relationship with an unsuitable man (I see it already: cue all the guys on CD who say she should lower her "standards." As if they lower their "standards").

And the "programming" you're talking about? Well, many of the reasons for the programming are legitimate. The truth is that, generally speaking, men (and women) tend to more highly value that which does not come easily to them. I've never been one to "pursue" men, per se (my old-school dad taught me, very early on, NOT to, so you can blame him and all the other dads out there like him). I've always found, as many women do, that if a man is interested, he will show it. Consistently. And if he isn't showing it consistently, then he isn't interested enough. Not enough for the kind of relationship the woman is often looking for, anyway.

The other reasons for the "programming," I think, have something to do with popular culture and the internet age. As in the whole "JNTIY" concept, promoted in a best-selling book published more than 10 years ago. Remember He's Just Not that Into You? It's practically become the "bible" of modern dating for women of all ages. Well, a man wrote that book, you know, and there are other men who write books promoting similar precepts. There are also countless "lifestyle" or relationship coaching blogs, many of which are written by male coaches. They almost all teach the JNTIY principle.

So, ultimately, multiple generations of women have always been taught (and, to a certain extent, rightly so), that if a man wants you, he will "move heaven and earth" to be with you. If he doesn't do that, then he's just not that into you. Period.
And then when he does all that... STALKER!!!

And rightfully so. Us men realize that if we do all that, we risk a restraining order and other kinds of legal action, because honestly, that crap is scary...

It's a two way street. You get what you give here. In my case, if I am making efforts to see a woman and she is more or less giving me a blow off or acting like she rather do something else, then I'd back off and move on. I've had women that were into me and I move my attention elsewhere.


Overall, JNTIY is a really good concept. It could get taken to unrealistic measure's, though so we all got to watch that.
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Old 04-18-2015, 11:36 AM
 
9,301 posts, read 8,323,898 times
Reputation: 7328
Quote:
Originally Posted by RoseLikeAnyOther View Post
Yes. Although it has more to do with your approachability than how hot you are. If you have a face that screams "don't talk to me" then mostly the creepy guys will try to chat with you. Normal nice quality guys might not.
Quite ironic, isn't it? I imagine a lot of these women have that kind of face to repel the creepy guys to begin with.

I have developed some version of that face due to the creep factor where I live.
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Old 04-18-2015, 11:39 AM
 
9,301 posts, read 8,323,898 times
Reputation: 7328
Quote:
Originally Posted by laorbust61 View Post
So a woman has to hold her face and hold her mouth a certain way, to get a chance to date a guy?
Well, why not?

Us men have to jump through a few hoops to get a date in some cases, why not give them a hoop or two?
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Old 04-18-2015, 11:41 AM
 
Location: Jupiter
10,216 posts, read 8,285,738 times
Reputation: 8628
Quote:
Originally Posted by troymclure View Post
So much anger directed toward internet strangers...

We're all deeply concerned with the relationship status of all the "hot" women on this forum. And why would someone with a "great" boyfriend want guys hitting on her?
Some women just need ALL the attention. I call them attention whores.
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Old 04-18-2015, 11:48 AM
 
Location: Nashville, TN -
9,588 posts, read 5,816,424 times
Reputation: 11116
Quote:
Originally Posted by 49ersfan27 View Post
I don't care what you think. I have nothing to prove to you or the other members of this forum. I stand by what I've said. Think I'm lying? I don't give a damn.

My point, 49ers, was that I (we) have no more reason to believe that you're lying than you do to believe women are lying.
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