Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Do you think there is a number of a hot women who men assume are saturated with male attention or already taken, but are in fact lonely and hoping for guys to talk to them?
Yes. And these are truly good men, who don't quite get that it is better to approach an approachable looking woman and see what the deal is, rather than keep your distance and assume. Has being politely informed, "Sorry, I'm spoken for, but thank you for asking" ever killed anyone? I mean, really.
no, the "hot" woman only has to deal with a small % of wussies that wont step to them... there will always be dudes with some balls that will step to said woman
the only women who are "lonely...hoping for guys to talk to them" are the ones that are stuck on stupid because they have been programmed that if a guy doesnt come to them and do all the work then they are not worthy
Are there attractive women - even very attractive women - who are alone but would love to be in good relationships with men? Of course there are. LOTS of them. And only men who view women in a two-dimensional fashion will think otherwise.
It gets so tiring listening to the argument that "hot" women have it made, because they get so much attention. Well, what kind of attention would we be talking about? And what difference does it make how many men will "step up," if few of those men are quality men looking for real relationships? What if she's not sufficiently attracted to any of those men? She still ends up alone, does she not? She certainly does IF she's a quality woman who would rather be alone than in a poor quality relationship with an unsuitable man (I see it already: cue all the guys on CD who say she should lower her "standards." As if they lower their "standards").
And the "programming" you're talking about? Well, many of the reasons for the programming are legitimate. The truth is that, generally speaking, men (and women) tend to more highly value that which does not come easily to them. I've never been one to "pursue" men, per se (my old-school dad taught me, very early on, NOT to, so you can blame him and all the other dads out there like him). I've always found, as many women do, that if a man is interested, he will show it. Consistently. And if he isn't showing it consistently, then he isn't interested enough. Not enough for the kind of relationship the woman is often looking for, anyway.
The other reasons for the "programming," I think, have something to do with popular culture and the internet age. As in the whole "JNTIY" concept, promoted in a best-selling book published more than 10 years ago. Remember He's Just Not that Into You? It's practically become the "bible" of modern dating for women of all ages. Well, a man wrote that book, you know, and there are other men who write books promoting similar precepts. There are also countless "lifestyle" or relationship coaching blogs, many of which are written by male coaches. They almost all teach the JNTIY principle.
So, ultimately, multiple generations of women have always been taught (and, to a certain extent, rightly so), that if a man wants you, he will "move heaven and earth" to be with you. If he doesn't do that, then he's just not that into you. Period.
Last edited by newdixiegirl; 04-17-2015 at 08:56 AM..
Are there attractive women - even very attractive women - who are alone but would love to be in good relationships with men? Of course there are. LOTS of them. And only men who view women in a two-dimensional fashion will think otherwise.
It gets so tiring listening to the argument that "hot" women have it made, because they get so much attention. Well, what kind of attention would we be talking about? And what difference does it make how many men will "step up" if few of those men are quality men looking for real relationships? What if she's not sufficiently attracted to any of those men? She still ends up alone, does she not? She certainly does IF she's a quality woman who would rather be alone than in a poor quality relationship with an unsuitable man (I see it already: cue all the guys on CD who say she should lower her "standards." As if they lower their "standards").
And the "programming" you're talking about? Well, many of the reasons for the programming are legitimate. The truth is that, generally speaking, men (and women) tend to more highly value that which does not come easily to them. I've never been one to "pursue" men, per se (my old-school dad taught me, very early on, NOT to, so you can blame him and all the other dads out there like him). I've always found, as many women do, that if a man is interested, he will show it. Consistently. And if he isn't showing it consistently, then he isn't interested enough. Not enough for the kind of relationship the woman is often looking for, anyway.
The other reasons for the "programming," I think, have something to do with popular culture and the internet age. As in the whole "JNTIY" concept, promoted in a best-selling book published more than 10 years ago. Remember He's Just Not that Into You? It's practically become the "bible" of modern dating for women of all ages. Well, a man wrote that book, you know, and there are other men who write books promoting similar precepts. There are also countless "lifestyle" or relationship coaching blogs, many of which are written by male coaches. They almost all teach the JNTIY principle.
So, ultimately, multiple generations of women have always been taught (and, to a certain extent, rightly so), that if a man wants you, he will "move heaven and earth" to be with you. If he doesn't do that, then he's just not that into you. Period.
Many points in your post I find to be spot-on. If a man notices me and makes a half-hearted effort to make my acquaintance (as in asking for my number and then do nothing but text me from that point on) does that make me a ***** if I reject his half-hearted advances? If he pulls himself together and takes me out on a real date, that is ME, meeting him halfway.
Location: Los Angeles (Hancock Park), California USA
90 posts, read 89,241 times
Reputation: 110
Quote:
Originally Posted by RoseLikeAnyOther
Yes. Although it has more to do with your approachability than how hot you are. If you have a face that screams "don't talk to me" then mostly the creepy guys will try to chat with you. Normal nice quality guys might not.
Bingo, "resting b***h face" is not inviting at all.
Yes, there are. Think of it this way, what difference to a 'hot' girl would it make if the only guys approaching her were sleazy creepy jerks who just want to use and later dis guard her after they've gotten what they want. The guys we really want to go out with are the ones who are often too shy to approach so we are left with either the sleaze ball, waiting forever for a good guy to approach, approach ourselves, or just move on and live our lives. And then what about all the women who aren't 'super hot', they also are frequently overlooked! Guys need to stop assuming we have it so easy, I'm so glad that I'm married now and don't have to deal with this crap anymore.
Are there attractive women - even very attractive women - who are alone but would love to be in good relationships with men? Of course there are. LOTS of them. And only men who view women in a two-dimensional fashion will think otherwise.
It gets so tiring listening to the argument that "hot" women have it made, because they get so much attention. Well, what kind of attention would we be talking about? And what difference does it make how many men will "step up," if few of those men are quality men looking for real relationships? What if she's not sufficiently attracted to any of those men? She still ends up alone, does she not? She certainly does IF she's a quality woman who would rather be alone than in a poor quality relationship with an unsuitable man (I see it already: cue all the guys on CD who say she should lower her "standards." As if they lower their "standards").
And the "programming" you're talking about? Well, many of the reasons for the programming are legitimate. The truth is that, generally speaking, men (and women) tend to more highly value that which does not come easily to them. I've never been one to "pursue" men, per se (my old-school dad taught me, very early on, NOT to, so you can blame him and all the other dads out there like him). I've always found, as many women do, that if a man is interested, he will show it. Consistently. And if he isn't showing it consistently, then he isn't interested enough. Not enough for the kind of relationship the woman is often looking for, anyway.
The other reasons for the "programming," I think, have something to do with popular culture and the internet age. As in the whole "JNTIY" concept, promoted in a best-selling book published more than 10 years ago. Remember He's Just Not that Into You? It's practically become the "bible" of modern dating for women of all ages. Well, a man wrote that book, you know, and there are other men who write books promoting similar precepts. There are also countless "lifestyle" or relationship coaching blogs, many of which are written by male coaches. They almost all teach the JNTIY principle.
So, ultimately, multiple generations of women have always been taught (and, to a certain extent, rightly so), that if a man wants you, he will "move heaven and earth" to be with you. If he doesn't do that, then he's just not that into you. Period.
Well that sucks for the women who can't get dates. If they refuse to take the initiative then they won't get anywhere, point blank. Following some book like it is a bible *smh*.
There are hot women who only get approached by sleazes, because the good guys are too shy, too intimidated, whatever. There are attractive women who rarely get approached, because yes, men tend to assume they're taken and that it's pointless to approach them.
Not to mention all the average women who are under people's radar altogether.
I think you underestimate how standoffish or unapproachable a lot of women make themselves appear to be. This is a big reason I don't approach a lot of women I might be interested in (at least physically). If they don't meet me halfway by showing me some signs of interest, I'm not going to approach. Period.
To the OP, there are probably a good number of them I'm sure. But until the learn how to be approached, they will likely remain lonely.
I consider myself a relatively attractive female. But I suffer from CBF (Chronic ***** Face). It's not that I'm mad or annoyed, I just have a face that appears "upset".
But that's just my face. I can't really bring myself to always be smiling, either. Sometimes I'll be daydreaming or concentrating on something, and I can't really help what my face looks like.
However, it still hasn't deterred men from approaching me. At least once a day, men -- of varied ages -- will try to come up and say hi. I'm always polite and nice, but very rarely interested. Like someone mentioned, a half-hearted attempt isn't really going to garner my attention. That might come off as very haughty, but when I'm approach by a number of guys, consistently, it's essential that you leave an impression or I'll simply forget what your face looks like the second you walk away.
That is why all the successful approaches, guys who managed to take me out on a date, were from the ones' that made me laugh.
So a woman has to hold her face and hold her mouth a certain way, to get a chance to date a guy?
Smilie or flirty-resting face lol
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
