Don't understand some people. (dating, girlfriend, woman, love)
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Why is it that some people who are dating someone out of their league fail to appreciate that person? You would think they would be grateful they could get somebody who is attractive, smart, funny, has a college degree, when they are not as attractive, has a ****ty job, and has no college degree. Is it because they get arrogant and think they can score better? Or maybe they think that person is too good for them so they get insecure?
I've seen this happen to a friend. She was attractive, smart, had a Masters, and fell head over heels for a guy who was awkward, not very good looking, only had a high school diploma, and pretty much a scum bag for hanging around with strippers and prostitutes. I think that made her feel real dumb when someone like him dumped her. He told her she was too good for him but she wouldn't buy it. I guess I just don't get this, maybe he just wasn't that into her for whatever reason. I mean, people are always trying to date up, but when they get it, they don't seem to appreciate it.
Why is it that some people who are dating someone out of their league fail to appreciate that person? You would think they would be grateful they could get somebody who is attractive, smart, funny, has a college degree, when they are not as attractive, has a ****ty job, and has no college degree. Is it because they get arrogant and think they can score better? Or maybe they think that person is too good for them so they get insecure?
I've seen this happen to a friend. She was attractive, smart, had a Masters, and fell head over heels for a guy who was awkward, not very good looking, only had a high school diploma, and pretty much a scum bag for hanging around with strippers and prostitutes. I think that made her feel real dumb when someone like him dumped her. He told her she was too good for him but she wouldn't buy it. I guess I just don't get this, maybe he just wasn't that into her for whatever reason. I mean, people are always trying to date up, but when they get it, they don't seem to appreciate it.
But you can also ask why these so-called great catches go for these bad and unappreciative people.
Is it because they think that can't get better? or because they're too prideful to walk away, and thus let themselves be stepped on?
Example. Can be skipped if wanted.
Spoiler
Woman I know. Hourglass figure, law school. Sex buddy to a guy who didn't graduate from college, and doesn't seem to be an intellectual. She's the one wanting a relationship, and he only wanted her as a free hooker. She'd get mad at him and complain. He'd shrug it off and either ignore her, or change the subject. Unless he wanted sex, he didn't give a crap how she felt. Then when he was horny, he'd pretend to be interested in her.
2 years she slept with and pinned for this guy, and he's actually dated 2 woman over her, one was his girlfriend before he met her, while she stays on the back-burner. Him dating some new girl he met recently is what really pissed her off, because he wouldn't date her, saying he didn't want a new girlfriend, and didn't make much time for her, even as a single guy, only to get an actual girlfriend later, which wasn't her. If not a girlfriend, it's a woman he's more interested in, because he spends more time with this new girl than he ever did his mistress of 2 years.
Finally she may have had enough. Last I heard from her, she has been talking to a new guy for the past month. They are in school together. Hopefully that means she's actually starting to move on and notice other men, rather than pinning for a guy who couldn't care less about her. Least she has some kind of romantic life outside of him now. But she's gone back to him before. So I won't say she's definitely done.
Thing is, even if someone is seen as stupid, or a loser, confidence goes a ways. Even if the other person is a catch that someone should be glad to have, if they have low self-esteem, or are pushovers, even what seem to be losers, won't respect them for a relationship. Not too many people take doormats seriously for partners. They use them for whatever reason, but no respect and love there.
The girl I mentioned, she seems to think she's a real catch, and she may be. But given how crappy she let this guy treat her, and still slept with him despite his lack of respect, he just thought she was a joke most-likely. She felt he should have realized how great she was, and be lucky to have her because he's stupid and didn't even go to college. NOPE!!! Doesn't work that way.
Pushovers / doormats / people-pleasers, etc. No matter how hot, smart and accomplished usually don't get respect, even from a dead-beat. If you put up with alot of crap from people, you'll be covered in so much crap, that's all you look like now. Crap. No backbone and no limitations which means people see you as a benefit or convenience for them. No respect earned.
Last edited by HappyRain; 04-26-2015 at 05:58 PM..
Why is it that some people who are dating someone out of their league fail to appreciate that person? You would think they would be grateful they could get somebody who is attractive, smart, funny, has a college degree, when they are not as attractive, has a ****ty job, and has no college degree. Is it because they get arrogant and think they can score better? Or maybe they think that person is too good for them so they get insecure?
I've seen this happen to a friend. She was attractive, smart, had a Masters, and fell head over heels for a guy who was awkward, not very good looking, only had a high school diploma, and pretty much a scum bag for hanging around with strippers and prostitutes. I think that made her feel real dumb when someone like him dumped her. He told her she was too good for him but she wouldn't buy it. I guess I just don't get this, maybe he just wasn't that into her for whatever reason. I mean, people are always trying to date up, but when they get it, they don't seem to appreciate it.
I think you're asking the wrong question. It's not "why do the losers not appreciate a good thing when it happens to them", but rather, it's "Why is my friend going for a loser?"
I think you're asking the wrong question. It's not "why do the losers not appreciate a good thing when it happens to them", but rather, it's "Why is my friend going for a loser?"
I'd have to agree.
And I'll also add that in most happy relationships, both people feel like they won the jackpot.
I'm guessing she has low self esteem and reallllly wanted to be in a relationship. Maybe wasn't patient enough to wait for a decent guy or isn't brave enough to date someone on her level. Sad
I know if my partner felt that I should be grateful that he's with me because he's smarter and more attractive, it would be the end of the relationship.
If she's referring to these guys as scumbags, losers and unattractive, it's no surprise they're not staying around. Would you?
I know if my partner felt that I should be grateful that he's with me because he's smarter and more attractive, it would be the end of the relationship.
If she's referring to these guys as scumbags, losers and unattractive, it's no surprise they're not staying around. Would you?
I'd be willing to bet there's a lot more to the story.
It's not just my friend. I know another girl who is also pretty cute and in med school but she's getting blown off by guys. I have seen her get pretty hung up over some guy she just met at a bar not texting her back. Our friend had to give her a lecture on knowing what she has to offer, raising her standards, and not just getting with any guy who is her age and is attractive. Are these girls just not realizing their worth? I guess most people don't really think that way until after the fact because they can't think objectively about it while in the moment.
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