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So...I am convinced that I am being strung along by a guy. This has been going on for literally years:
I text him. He almost never responds. I ask if he wants to hang out over the weekend. He either does not respond or gives a busy excuse...after admitting he's doing nothing but laying about the house. I haven't physically seen him in like a year now. So I text him a goodbye message, telling him that I will disappear from his life completely, just like he seems to want. Then he gives me a call and has an hours long conversation with me. I am placated and continue to be his string-along friend. Then the cycle of ignoring and putting off repeats until I say I'm never speaking to him again - then I get another phone call or long response text. Repeat.
WTF? If he is not interested, why not just let me go??? Why try to keep me around? This is annoying to no end. I'm not a friend to him, not a girlfriend...why keep me around? What am I to you?
The sad part is... his string-along game has been so effective that I have been celibate since it began, faithfully waiting for him to claim me or something, at long last.
He hasn't texted me back for days. Not even a response to a simple "how are you?"...I feel like telling him I'm giving up again, but I already how that ends (see paragraph 2).
The game changer is the fact that I met a new guy where there is mutual interest. I emailed him and told him this (trying a new tactic since he doesn't respond to texts). But it wasn't an "I'm letting you go" email...it was an "I don't know how to choose between you and him" email. I can only pursue one romantic interest at once. Lol, who can predict his response, if any?
And he's moody as (expletive), so it's hard to distinguish between him being in a mood and him just not giving a (expletive) about me enough to communicate.
I don't know what to do...if there is even a slight chance he might stop stringing me along...how do I do it?
You move on. Someone who does not recognize your worth is not someone you want to be with. Having to beg for attention is a clear sign: He's not that into you.
The only way to not be strung is to not allow yourself to be strung. You can't make a guy have deeper feelings for you if he doesn't. This guy clearly doesn't care too much for you. Just when you start to wise up and leave, he tells you what you want to hear so you'll stay.
As for why, could be a few reasons
1. Ego Boost
He likes that he's got a girl so stuck on him that she waits around and chases him.
2. Back-Up
He's with other women, but he likes having a girl on the back-burner he can get with if it's convenient or if a girl he really wants doesn't work.
Given the lack of effort this guy makes with you, and that you seem to be the one making all the calls and sending messages, his interest in you isn't very deep. And he keeps you around for reasons beneficialto him, not because he cares for you as a person, or your company.
Move on. You've found someone else you are interested in seeing. Guy #1 will never be a good partner to you, and frankly doesn't deserve any more chances.
And I have said before that I was going to leave him alone, but then he tells me he doesn't want me to disappear.
That's because you announced you would now proceed to disappear from his life. Don't announce, just stop contacting him in any way, shape, or form.
It doesn't really matter why he is not behaving the way you would like him to behave; it only matters that he isn't.
You would like more interest and attention from the man you are dating. That's understandable. So, go out and find a man who will give you more interest and attention.
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