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As you may know I have come many times on this board about my X who has cancer and dumped me 3x. He would reach out periodically to "hang out" and I would politely decline. I am still dating a the new BF who treats me like a queen.
My X started reaching out again via text a few weeks ago telling me he wanted to get back together. I told him I was not interested. He took no for an answer and basically “told” me we are getting back together.
He then texted, "Just so you know this how will work when we get together, you can pick the place, I will meet you there so you don't have to come to my place, and only if you want I will pick you up at your house, so if you don't trust me you will not be put in a situation you're uncomfortable"
I blocked him and deleted him off of FB.
Two of our mutual freinds have stopped speaking to me as I have apparently “lead him on” and “how dare I treat someone with cancer like this”
Another mutual freind asked “Do you not know he had cancer? Can’t you have some compassion and give him another chance? Or go to dinner with him as a freind?” (Like I don't know already??????????????????)
I stated to her that I am dating someone else and will not disrespect him by hanging out with my X (I have told my BF that X has reached out and I have blocked him).
X has tried to FB request my non mutaul freinds and has been denied.
So here is the question: My BF and I are doing a cancer run next month. My X has told mutual freinds that he is going. How do I tell my BF that X will be there and how do I handle it when X comes up to me? I have not spoken to him since September of 2018..
Just tell your current BF and ask him his advice. He knows you and knows of your ex at least. He will be there with you so you need to give him the heads up and you guys work as a team to deter the ex.
So here is the question: My BF and I are doing a cancer run next month. My X has told mutual freinds that he is going. How do I tell my BF that X will be there and how do I handle it when X comes up to me? I have not spoken to him since September of 2018..
Thanks
Please tell me your current BF knows the whole story about the ex.
If he does, let him know that someone told you that the ex would be there, not that you care.
If you see the ex at the event, treat him as you would any other distant acquaintance: cordial but reserved. Introduce your BF, and you can say, "This is Ex; we used to date." Leave it at that.
Don't be weird. You are adults, and you should trust your BF to handle himself while you handle yourself. Excuse yourself as soon as is practical and go on with your day. No need to make drama when you've (presumably) handled the situation as you should so far.
Yes my current BF knows the situation about the X. I am not concerned about my or BF behavior; however the X may question why I have not been returning his calls. Anyway, great advice thank you!
Yes my current BF knows the situation about the X. I am not concerned about my or BF behavior; however the X may question why I have not been returning his calls. Anyway, great advice thank you!
If he dares to bring that up, just say, "I don't want to talk to you on the phone." Say it exactly as you would tell someone the time.
No emotion. Just the facts. There's nothing wrong with feeling the way you feel about him. If he can't deal with it, that's his problem.
If he does come up to you at all, same thing. Just non-committal civility as you would give anyone else. It would be obvious you know him but that's it. Silly to pretend you don't. Creating a scene isn't necessary either. All that will do is make you more anxious. You're over it. Everything you do should reinforce that. Neutral, nothing he can feed off.
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