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Over the winter, I inadvertently found myself getting more involved with a man that has been a friend and mentor to me for the past 3 years. We are now dating but since I am finishing up school and stressed he agreed to somewhat put off a full-blown relationship until I am done. We still see each other every couple weekends. I'm almost 28 and he is around 60.
There are of course pro's and con's to dating older men. He is actually LESS experienced than I am in the bedroom, and while our sex life is sometimes great, other times he has a hard time staying erect or orgasming. This happened the last time I saw him, and it makes me feel really insecure and crummy about myself, which also affects how attractive I find him. In addition, his regret over not having more sexual partners in his earlier life makes me a tad bit angry, since it seems every guy (no matter what age) I date feels this way, and indirectly reflects onto you as a second choice to all the women they could have had. However, I believe/hope that he would be loyal and treat me well.
To add to that, I am experiencing my own quarter-life crisis. I am nearing 28 and am only now finishing up my Bachelor's degree. I have no idea what career I can get once I graduate. I've always imagined myself as single and enjoy the solitary life, though am admittedly closed off from previous heartbreaks. Adding someone into the picture is frightening and foreign. It's hard to give up my freedom. While I have feelings for this guy, I also have an intense desire to run away from him and the rest of my current life.
ED is a medical condition, and some men experience it. Stay or go based on your feelings. You are young and can still make mistakes. It might or might not work out.Just stay focused on getting a career and fufilling your long term goals.
Over the winter, I inadvertently found myself getting more involved with a man that has been a friend and mentor to me for the past 3 years. We are now dating but since I am finishing up school and stressed he agreed to somewhat put off a full-blown relationship until I am done. We still see each other every couple weekends. I'm almost 28 and he is around 60.
There are of course pro's and con's to dating older men. He is actually LESS experienced than I am in the bedroom, and while our sex life is sometimes great, other times he has a hard time staying erect or orgasming. This happened the last time I saw him, and it makes me feel really insecure and crummy about myself, which also affects how attractive I find him. In addition, his regret over not having more sexual partners in his earlier life makes me a tad bit angry, since it seems every guy (no matter what age) I date feels this way, and indirectly reflects onto you as a second choice to all the women they could have had. However, I believe/hope that he would be loyal and treat me well.
To add to that, I am experiencing my own quarter-life crisis. I am nearing 28 and am only now finishing up my Bachelor's degree. I have no idea what career I can get once I graduate. I've always imagined myself as single and enjoy the solitary life, though am admittedly closed off from previous heartbreaks. Adding someone into the picture is frightening and foreign. It's hard to give up my freedom. While I have feelings for this guy, I also have an intense desire to run away from him and the rest of my current life.
Advice?
Yes, ED is a physical condition. Don't project your own insecurities onto him.
I find it ironic that you would complain about being a "second choice" when it sounds like you are with him by default.
If you care about him, show it. If not, let him go while you figure your own sh*t out.
28 is the age of beginning a career and family. He is half in the grave. Good golly! How old are her parents?!
I'm really finding this thread hard to believe.
ED is not a medical 'problem' for a guy who is 60. It's a natural protection from the body so as to not die while trying to perform such a stunt as sex.
Your situation is not unusual. Think seriously about your motives for being with him compared to your long-term objectives in life. What is he giving you that you are missing and that you can't find in yourself?
As for being 28 and working on your bachelors, welcome to the club. Many of us were/are "late bloomers" who went on to find ourselves and shelve the regrets you feel. There is no shame in this. Hold your head high and move forward.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 37,112,957 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by funymann
Haha! Come on... It's true.
I don't know the 60 yos you know, most are out there getting more than most of my 20 something co workers. Lots are in better shape too.
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