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I am a 23 year old female who has (medication managed) schizophrenia and is still living with the parents.
I admit that my judgment skills are poor. Some of it is due to my disorder affecting my judgment.
But I spent days planning how I was going to get my life together so I don't have to be under the wing of my parents all the time, and can one day start a family of my own.
But my mother, everyone is opposed to me getting a job and moving out. I plan to move in with a roommate so the bills won't be too much for me to handle.
She (my mother) wants me to move in with my grandmother in this middle of nowhere town. I want to move to the city.
She says the city is tough, that is true, but I don't want to be sheltered my whole life either...I'm 23!
She basically said, should I fail, she won't help me. Great.
If I did not have the desire to start a family of my own, sure, I'd move in with grandma in a basically senior citizens town...but love is very important to me.
Just not sure what to do. Either I accept that I have poor judgment and live under family my whole life, treated like a child, never having one of my own because who wants to be with a woman who always lives with mom...or I go out on my own and risk losing the safety net of family.
Not sure what to do. Is finding love and having a family of my own worth losing my mom's support?
I'm sure you're Mom is very worried about you, you admit to having poor judgement.
Can you start a little slower in order to see if you can function as a responsible adult? Start with a job and be a productive member of your family. Clean house, offer to cook meals, show that you are able to run your life while under the protection of your family. Perhaps date a little at the same time.
If you can handle all that without getting into trouble, then look to moving out.
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I am a 23 year old female who has (medication managed) schizophrenia and is still living with the parents.
I admit that my judgment skills are poor. Some of it is due to my disorder affecting my judgment.
But I spent days planning how I was going to get my life together so I don't have to be under the wing of my parents all the time, and can one day start a family of my own.
But my mother, everyone is opposed to me getting a job and moving out. I plan to move in with a roommate so the bills won't be too much for me to handle.
She (my mother) wants me to move in with my grandmother in this middle of nowhere town. I want to move to the city.
She says the city is tough, that is true, but I don't want to be sheltered my whole life either...I'm 23!
She basically said, should I fail, she won't help me. Great.
If I did not have the desire to start a family of my own, sure, I'd move in with grandma in a basically senior citizens town...but love is very important to me.
Just not sure what to do. Either I accept that I have poor judgment and live under family my whole life, treated like a child, never having one of my own because who wants to be with a woman who always lives with mom...or I go out on my own and risk losing the safety net of family.
Not sure what to do. Is finding love and having a family of my own worth losing my mom's support?
If you were an average 23 y/o, my answer would have been different. But you have schizophrenia and you yourself have admitted poor judgment skills (which I assume happened while you were not in psychosis). Stay on medications and show that you can be free of symptoms for at least 1-2 years. Meanwhile, get a local job and commute from home. Then move out and start dating.
Don't forget for you, family support > sex, job
If you were an average 23 y/o, my answer would have been different. But you have schizophrenia and you yourself have admitted poor judgment skills (which I assume happened while you were not in psychosis). Stay on medications and show that you can be free of symptoms for at least 1-2 years. Meanwhile, get a local job and commute from home. Then move out and start dating.
Don't forget for you, family support > sex, job
OP, I agree with this but I also agree with you. It's not fair for you to be treated like a child all your life, but maybe you shouldn't be in a hurry to get it all at once either. Maybe if your mom is somewhat reasonable you can make moving to the city a longer term goal with some baby steps in between and if your mom still balks, ask if you can bring in a counselor to help mediate and let you and your mom know what those baby steps should look like.
And of course you want love and a family of your own--that's what most of us want. I pray for you to get that.
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