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My girlfriend lives probably the easiest life ever (outside of those young rich royal heirs). She’s 23, I’m 22, we live together. She has never had a job, is not in college, is not looking for a job. She goes to bed at 4 in the morning, wakes up at 2 or later. There are days where I’ll wake up, go to class, have a break between my class, class again, come home, and she’s still sleeping. She gets money from her dad which pays her portion of the rent and everything else. I’m in school and have a job. She doesn’t clean because she doesn’t know how and I cook because she’s too lazy. I do the dishes, she watches TV. Anytime I mention “ You know, you could’ve vacuumed” she gives puppy eyes and “ sowwy”. “ You could’ve made dinner” is met with “ But you’re better”. I mentioned maybe community college or a volunteer job, she freaked out. She’s very pampered; very spoiled. I guess it bugs me that she does so little and if we marry, it won’t change. Do I try and talk to her about CC or a job again? She does have a boatload of positives. She’s very sweet, very funny, very pretty. Because she’s up when I’m sleeping she has time to write love notes and put them on my backpack. “ I love you so so much. Hope you have a great day ☺” stuff like that.
She's not going to want to change being an overgrown child is working out just fine for her.
Quote:
Originally Posted by flyboypat
My girlfriend lives probably the easiest life ever (outside of those young rich royal heirs). She’s 23, I’m 22, we live together. She has never had a job, is not in college, is not looking for a job. She goes to bed at 4 in the morning, wakes up at 2 or later. There are days where I’ll wake up, go to class, have a break between my class, class again, come home, and she’s still sleeping. She gets money from her dad which pays her portion of the rent and everything else. I’m in school and have a job. She doesn’t clean because she doesn’t know how and I cook because she’s too lazy. I do the dishes, she watches TV. Anytime I mention “ You know, you could’ve vacuumed” she gives puppy eyes and “ sowwy”. “ You could’ve made dinner” is met with “ But you’re better”. I mentioned maybe community college or a volunteer job, she freaked out. She’s very pampered; very spoiled. I guess it bugs me that she does so little and if we marry, it won’t change. Do I try and talk to her about CC or a job again? She does have a boatload of positives. She’s very sweet, very funny, very pretty. Because she’s up when I’m sleeping she has time to write love notes and put them on my backpack. “ I love you so so much. Hope you have a great day ☺” stuff like that.
That's not going to change, and if you think you don't like it now, you are REALLY not going to like it in 5 years. Essentially you have an adult child.
Tell her she needs to find something productive to be doing at least 8 hours every day. I'm not a huge fan when people keep late night hours (unless it's for work schedule), I've found that nothing much productive gets done during those hours besides surfing the internet, playing games, etc.
I'm sure there are exceptions, but obviously your girl is not one of them.
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That's not going to change, and if you think you don't like it now, you are REALLY not going to like it in 5 years. Essentially you have an adult child.
My girlfriend lives probably the easiest life ever (outside of those young rich royal heirs). She’s 23, I’m 22, we live together. She has never had a job, is not in college, is not looking for a job. She goes to bed at 4 in the morning, wakes up at 2 or later. There are days where I’ll wake up, go to class, have a break between my class, class again, come home, and she’s still sleeping. She gets money from her dad which pays her portion of the rent and everything else. I’m in school and have a job. She doesn’t clean because she doesn’t know how and I cook because she’s too lazy. I do the dishes, she watches TV. Anytime I mention “ You know, you could’ve vacuumed” she gives puppy eyes and “ sowwy”. “ You could’ve made dinner” is met with “ But you’re better”. I mentioned maybe community college or a volunteer job, she freaked out. She’s very pampered; very spoiled. I guess it bugs me that she does so little and if we marry, it won’t change. Do I try and talk to her about CC or a job again? She does have a boatload of positives. She’s very sweet, very funny, very pretty. Because she’s up when I’m sleeping she has time to write love notes and put them on my backpack. “ I love you so so much. Hope you have a great day ☺” stuff like that.
Aha. Well, now we know how you got yourself into this relationship.
If you're ok with the idea of supporting her for the rest of her life while she sleeps her life away, then go for it. But you don't sound ok with it.
Dare I suggest you look for someone who's sweet, intelligent, and self-supporting/motivated? Figure out what your priorities are in a partner, and go from there. With any luck, your priorities will evolve. You're discovering there's more to life than "sweet, funny, pretty".
And you would marry her.....why? Just because she is "sweet, funny and pretty". She already shows you that she brings nothing to the relationship. What if you were to marry her...and she got ...FAT
Or....god forbid....pregnant.
Or...what if you married her...and you got laid off or injured. Then what. ?
That poor girl needs some adult remediation. Training on "How to be a responsible adult".
You are really only just enabling her to continue doing as she is doing. Being pampered.
And you would marry her.....why? Just because she is "sweet, funny and pretty". She already shows you that she brings nothing to the relationship. What if you were to marry her...and she got ...FAT
Or....god forbid....pregnant.
Or...what if you married her...and you got laid off or injured. Then what. ?
Oooh, good one! OP, she doesn't sound like someone who would cope well in a crisis, nor would she rise to the occasion to earn some rent money.
Quote:
Originally Posted by moxiegal;
That poor girl needs some adult remediation. Training on "How to be a responsible adult".
You are really only just enabling her to continue doing as she is doing. Being pampered.
I'm shocked that none of the adults in her life (= parents) saw fit to send her to college, at least. I knew some very pampered women in college, but they were still expected to get a degree, even if only from a podunk college. Clearly, some women are raised only to be ornaments. Like Princess Di. She was never expected to go to college! Even now, that's hard for me to get my mind around. No wonder she was bored out of her mind with her life in the palace! Parents don't realize the degree to which they're handicapping their kids by pampering them to that degree.
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