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Old 05-09-2015, 08:42 PM
 
Location: So Cal
51,956 posts, read 52,393,874 times
Reputation: 52458

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OP, if you are the one that I remember correctly, aren't you the one that makes out with guys and gets them all worked up and you send them home with no sex??

I say this cause if you can be intimate with a man and not feel urges to be with him and all of that then maybe you should stop dating... I'm not being snarky here, I mean that in the sense that if you aren't jonesing to be with a man and not something that you feel in your gut, then maybe you should life as an asexual and that in of itself isn't a bad thing, a lot of people live that way, there are a lot of websites that cater to that lifestyle if that is what makes sense for you.....

 
Old 05-09-2015, 08:44 PM
 
8,875 posts, read 6,182,335 times
Reputation: 12131
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
I don't agree with you at all. If you see someone around (lets say you're in the same class) and don't interact with them and get to know them, you're still basing any so called attraction on how you think they would be when interacting with you. That is still fantasy. You're becoming strongly attracted to who you think they are based on your observations.
I think there is a wide gap between developing an attraction to a familiar stranger and fantasizing over a stranger. Developing a liking to what one observes is the precursor to asking someone out, not fantasy. As a rule I don't ask out women based only on looks, I prefer to observe someone for a little while before doing so.
 
Old 05-09-2015, 08:48 PM
 
14,078 posts, read 16,552,129 times
Reputation: 17654
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound View Post
OP, if you are the one that I remember correctly, aren't you the one that makes out with guys and gets them all worked up and you send them home with no sex??
Yes, I've done that with a few guys but not every single guy I go out with. Last time it happened was two years ago.

Quote:
I say this cause if you can be intimate with a man and not feel urges to be with him and all of that then maybe you should stop dating... I'm not being snarky here, I mean that in the sense that if you aren't jonesing to be with a man and not something that you feel in your gut, then maybe you should life as an asexual and that in of itself isn't a bad thing, a lot of people live that way, there are a lot of websites that cater to that lifestyle if that is what makes sense for you.....
I'm very aware that men have needs and that I'll have to be open to satisfying them if I want to have a relationship.
 
Old 05-09-2015, 08:48 PM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,797,099 times
Reputation: 40634
Quote:
Originally Posted by AtkinsonDan View Post
I think there is a wide gap between developing an attraction to a familiar stranger and fantasizing over a stranger. Developing a liking to what one observes is the precursor to asking someone out, not fantasy. As a rule I don't ask out women based only on looks, I prefer to observe someone for a little while before doing so.

There is a gap, but I don't think it is as wide as you do, I think. As a rule, I don't ask people based on looks, or based on observing them. I ask them out after, if I choose to, based on talking to them and interacting with them. Only then can I know if there is any attraction and chemistry. Anything before that isn't real attraction, in my book.
 
Old 05-09-2015, 08:53 PM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,797,099 times
Reputation: 40634
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar View Post
I'm very aware that men have needs and that I'll have to be open to satisfying them if I want to have a relationship.

Woah, what? Men and women both have needs and desires, and when they're hot for each other they aren't "open" to satisfying them, they need and want to satisfy them with each other. Again and again and again.
 
Old 05-09-2015, 08:56 PM
 
Location: So Cal
51,956 posts, read 52,393,874 times
Reputation: 52458
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar View Post
Yes, I've done that with a few guys but not every single guy I go out with. Last time it happened was two years ago.


I'm very aware that men have needs and that I'll have to be open to satisfying them if I want to have a relationship.
But see... your answer here is telling and again.. I'm not being mean here, but I get the sense that you're preforming civic duty by "satisfying" their needs...

I as a man don't wan woman to "satisfy" my needs... I want her to want to be with me...

You follow what I'm saying here... this here advice is priceless and isn't available for free...LOl.. j/k

What I'm saying is that if you don't want a man the way he wants you, it's going to come through... hence my comments about asexual relationships....
 
Old 05-09-2015, 08:58 PM
 
14,078 posts, read 16,552,129 times
Reputation: 17654
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
Woah, what? Men and women both have needs and desires, and when they're hot for each other they aren't "open" to satisfying them, they need and want to satisfy them with each other. Again and again and again.
I understand that may be the case for some, but having a man inside of my body isn't a need that I've ever had, so I'm saying that I'd have to be open to it.
 
Old 05-09-2015, 08:59 PM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,797,099 times
Reputation: 40634
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound View Post
What I'm saying is that if you don't want a man the way he wants you, it's going to come through... hence my comments about asexual relationships....

I'm not asking out a woman more than a couple of times if I don't think she wants me.
The idea that she might be open to satisfy me is nauseating.

Why would any half decent dude be ok with that when there are lots of sensual cute women out there that would really want you?
 
Old 05-09-2015, 09:02 PM
 
14,078 posts, read 16,552,129 times
Reputation: 17654
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound View Post
But see... your answer here is telling and again.. I'm not being mean here, but I get the sense that you're preforming civic duty by "satisfying" their needs...

I as a man don't wan woman to "satisfy" my needs... I want her to want to be with me...

You follow what I'm saying here... this here advice is priceless and isn't available for free...LOl.. j/k

What I'm saying is that if you don't want a man the way he wants you, it's going to come through... hence my comments about asexual relationships....
And I would like to WANT to be with someone, which is why I'm no longer going to try to force it to happen like I have in the past.
 
Old 05-09-2015, 09:02 PM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,797,099 times
Reputation: 40634
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar View Post
I understand that may be the case for some, but having a man inside of my body isn't a need that I've ever had, so I'm saying that I'd have to be open to it.

Some???!!!

Doesn't sound like you really have any desire for a relationship, at any level. Mentally, emotionally, or physically.

So yup, either therapy, or quit.

(PS I hate allergy season and how I'm home medicated on a Saturday)
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