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Like I said, too young. However, you should consider shifting your focus from marriage as the ultimate prize to working together to develop a partnership. This includes selecting your potential partner wisely.
Well i tried selecting and the results were dismal. Then i dealt with a bunch of crazies that pursued me and that made me quit online dating. Now I am in a relationship with a guy I grew up with that is very much like me.
[quote=Petunia 100;39509071]When I left my husband, I was the happiest I had been in years. It still took some time to adjust, and I still had to grieve a bit for what had been permanently lost. Not the actual "relationship", but the dream of what might have been.
You lost a dream too. Your ex is the father of your son and the step-father of your daughter. You had made a life together. It might not have been exactly as you wanted it, but you two had made a commitment and as we all know, sometimes that takes some work. Now it's over and your relationship will never become what you had hoped. It's OK to take some time to grieve over that if you need to.
In your new relationship, I think you are looking at it wrong. Enjoy it for what it is. If it grows into something else, great. If not, then it doesn't
I have come to realize that I am just not the woman, men want to marry. I get it. Accepting the fact that I will be the love her and leave her relationship and it is what it is.
But how can I stop having higher expectations from people and sadness?. I want to just stop being sad over the fact that I am not part of a marriage, family life and that I wont ever have a husband to be part of my team.
I felt very down like you in the past, since it seemed as though what I wanted never seemed to pan out a certain way, but then I started to ask myself how I am being perceived and what energy I gave off.
When it came down to it, I started to realize that I was the one projecting a lot of my sadness bouncing around from one relationship after another, only to find myself in the same situation. I decided to give dating a break and refocus on taking care of myself, loving myself the way I want to be loved, and being on my own having fun. Laughing. Letting go.
I find when I have a "I don't need you" mentality, and that relationships don't define me, and if they so happen to progress, then sure fine, I'm more in luck with meeting guys who are aligned with my goals and intentions.
And, sometimes, you have to ask yourself if you know your own worth and what crap you're willing to put up with. When someone crosses that line, call them out on it. Don't be afraid to be yourself and stand-up. That's self-respect. Don't be afraid to speak up. Don't be afraid to say exactly what you want, because what you want is what you deserve. Anything less than that is a waste of your time and space in your heart.
You know what's sad? So many people feel like you do! So many people feel that if someone doesn't want them, it's over! Somehow - some people feel that, "If this person doesn't love me, then I must be the most unlovable of all the unlovable!"
In reality - The most important person that loves you is yourself. If other people don't love you, ***** them! You are humanities most precious asset no matter who you are. If you let other people make you feel lesser than, you're going to die a sad, lonely, brainwashed person.
I'm not married. I don't have kids. Does that make me a lessor being? Absolutely not. I have something to contribute that doesn't involve marriage or kids. The effect of my existence is being felt the globe over! My voice matters as mush as the next! I'm changing the world with each word I type.
I have come to realize that I am just not the woman, men want to marry. I get it. Accepting the fact that I will be the love her and leave her relationship and it is what it is.
But how can I stop having higher expectations from people and sadness?. I want to just stop being sad over the fact that I am not part of a marriage, family life and that I wont ever have a husband to be part of my team.
Low, you are stronger than you think and will inevitably get through this. Summer is on the horizon and if you make yourself available, you will meet a lot more people. Hopefully, this time, you will find someone who is on the same page with you.
As an aside, I am very impressed with the folks that have responded so far. I was initially worried that there would be some bashing or typical comments about public assistance. Great job on not kicking her when she is down.
I have come to realize that I am just not the woman, men want to marry. I get it. Accepting the fact that I will be the love her and leave her relationship and it is what it is.
But how can I stop having higher expectations from people and sadness?. I want to just stop being sad over the fact that I am not part of a marriage, family life and that I wont ever have a husband to be part of my team.
Got about 15 more years as I have a toddler. Fun fun...
I think you're feeling gloomy and cynical because you're not getting what you want at this moment. I don't think you should give up on looking or keeping your options open though. That's just my .02.
So things are not going well with the guy you've been in love with since 10, is only a FWB and he doesn't want a relationship?
Honestly, I don't think that situation is going to leave you giddy from love. Have you thought that if you weren't hung up on this guy you could be out meeting appropriate guys?
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So things are not going well with the guy you've been in love with since 10, is only a FWB and he doesn't want a relationship?
Honestly, I don't think that situation is going to leave you giddy from love. Have you thought that if you weren't hung up on this guy you could be out meeting appropriate guys?
Oh this has zero to do with my current relationship, which is extremely new. This is more of, I left ky ex husband 10 years ago and I am still in the same boat rowing along but not getting anywhere.
I asked one of my best guy friends today, what he thinks is wrong with me. This guy will tell you I am one of the coolest chicks he knows, and very much like one of the guys. So maybe he can provide some insight as he knows me well.
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