Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
It may be obvious to some, but in the past, I have had difficulty telling when guys do not want me. I have also had difficulty telling when they DO want me unless they are very obvious about it...let's just say I'm socially oblivious mostly. I have come here to make sure I've got things right this time so I can stop wasting time chasing men who have no interest and stringing myself along.
So, without further ado, here are the 99% sure signs he does not want me. Correct me if I am wrong on any of these, especially the guys out there, because I am going to start implementing these into my life and I do not want to be wrong.
1. He's "Busy". Unless he is the CEO of a huge company, he should have time to see me at LEAST 3 times a week, if not more. 99% of the time, busy just means too busy for ME. If the word busy even comes out of his mouth once without a legitimate and detailed and true explanation, I'm going to cut off contact completely.
2. He's Occupied with friends 99% of his free time and gives 1% or less to me. Yeah, I let a guy do this to me. I feel like an idiot, and rightly so. This kinda goes along with the busy excuse. If he truly likes you, he will move heaven and earth to be with you for many moments.
3. He does not introduce me to his friends or family after 3 or 4 dates, and doesn't attempt to meet mine. This means he isn't planning on taking it anywhere. If you're a secret, that's bad.
4. I text/call him more than he texts/calls me. If he wants to speak to me less than I want to speak to him, he does not want me.
5. He doesn't compliment me highly, or isn't stunned by me. I have noticed that guys who say "you're gorgeous" tend to stick with me longer than those who say "you're cute", and both tend to stay longer than those who say nothing at all.
6. He dates other people and doesn't care if you do. shows no desire for exclusivity.
Those are the 6 signs I have noticed that are surefire indicators of disinterest. And indicators of interest are the opposite of all of the above.
Forgive me if its all captain-obvious stuff, but this was not obvious to me until I learned it. Given that there is a movie called "He's just not that into you", I'm sure I'm not the only woman who struggles with recognizing this. But Am I right on these?
If he...thinks I'm stunning and says it, texts/calls me constantly, wants me exclusively, introduces me to family and friends, and Spends the bulk of his free time with me...then he wants me. Anything less and he does not want.
Last edited by Pure Death; 05-10-2015 at 11:25 AM..
You have some unrealistic expectations. He should have time to see you at least 3 times/week? Some guys are lucky to get both weekend days free. In the beginning, before he even knows you, 1-2 times/week should be enough, and that's realistic. Guys who don't have demanding jobs--yeah, 3 x/week, if he's into you.
After just 3 dates, there's no reason to introduce someone to family. That's still the getting-to-know-you stage. It would be a constant parade of dates introduced to his parents if the family intro happened that early. After you decide you're exclusive and are serious might be the right time. For some people, the family intro doesn't happen until they're sure the SO is "the one".
I suppose that if you're stunning, it's reasonable to expect men would be stunned by you. YMMV.
Why would I introduce a woman to my family and friends when I'm still getting to know her, still scoping her out? 2 or 3 dates aren't usually enough for that to happen. Parents don't want to meet their kids' casual dates. They want to meet their steady squeeze, if it's a serious thing.
#6 is obvious. I'd flunk at #5, I guess; I don't shower women with compliments. That doesn't go over well with some women; they're suspicious if you compliment them too much, or too highly. But I don't date "stunning" women, lol. I def show them I appreciate them, though, once I get to know them well enough to appreciate them.
Okay, maybe the introduce to family was too soon. Idk, I believe in love at first sight if it is mutual so introducing someone to family after 4 dates wouldn't seem all that unusual to me IF they were into me, as much as I am into them. I fall in love easily (it is a curse). Trying not to waste anymore love on lost causes is all.
Okay, maybe the introduce to family was too soon. Idk, I believe in love at first sight if it is mutual so introducing someone to family after 4 dates wouldn't seem all that unusual to me IF they were into me, as much as I am into them. I fall in love easily (it is a curse). Trying not to waste anymore love on lost causes is all.
This explains a lot about your OP. I think love at first sight is rare. And sometimes it only turns out to be lust at first sight, lol! It doesn't last, because it doesn't have a strong foundation. But sometimes it does work out.
All these are great, but you might be over-correcting a little bit:
1) More than 3 dates a week is A LOT, don't you want to have more free time to hang with your friends, do things you enjoy on your own, or even just take a night to pamper yourself?
2) There is no need to introduce friends until you are exclusive or very close to being exclusive, as for meeting the family, that's typically not for another couple of months.
1. He's "Busy". Unless he is the CEO of a huge company, he should have time to see me at LEAST 3 times a week, if not more. 99% of the time, busy just means too busy for ME. If the word busy even comes out of his mouth once without a legitimate and detailed and true explanation, I'm going to cut off contact completely.
3. He does not introduce me to his friends or family after 3 or 4 dates, and doesn't attempt to meet mine. This means he isn't planning on taking it anywhere. If you're a secret, that's bad.
4. I text/call him more than he texts/calls me. If he wants to speak to me less than I want to speak to him, he does not want me.
5. He doesn't compliment me highly, or isn't stunned by me. I have noticed that guys who say "you're gorgeous" tend to stick with me longer than those who say "you're cute", and both tend to stay longer than those who say nothing at all.
6. He dates other people and doesn't care if you do. shows no desire for exclusivity.
1) At least three times a week? That's being completely unrealistic.
3) Yes, if he doesn't want to meet your friends or introduce you to his, major major red flag.
4) Woah. Calm down a bit. This means nothing. Some men are TERRIBLE texters and it has NOTHING to do with you.
5) Gorgeous and cute can mean the same thing to some guys.
6) If it's the early stages of the relationship that is fine. If you have been dating for a couple months and he acts that way, red flag.
My best advice to you is that you need to calm down and take everything SLOW. You will scare away tons of good guys, if you continue to have these kinds of thoughts.
I think you really can't lock any one person into a category.
For example my current guy I'm dating we can't date 3times a week.We both work and he lives a half hour away.Both of us are parents and have responsibilites.Maybe down the road more dates.But dating can be costly.He treats me and I treat him to activities.He has a life he doesn't have to text/call me 24/7.Yes it's easy to become attached but looks bad when too needy.I do agree with introduction to each other's families.This is the approval of both sides and the movement into the realationship.I know it happens but I would be offended if he was dating other woman.When I date I'm into him only.
I agree with ruth4truth on the foundation part. I thought it was love at first sight before and it makes you skip a few steps and ignore a few things that you should have given more thought to.
#1. 3 times a week is too much for a new relationship. People have lives outside of a relationship. Only an unemployed man with no life would be seeing you 3 times a week or more.
#2. I kind of agree with. I would put you first before friends most of the time. You have to realize there are exceptions when a group has plans in advance or things they always do together.
#3. I wouldn't want to meet your family after 3 months let alone 3 dates.
4# If you text or call it should be for a reason. Sometimes there is no reason to, especially if they are at work. No texts or calls to or from there.
5#I am not much of compliment maker. When I do there is a reason, not because it is expected. If you change your hair and it looks ok I will say it is ok, not exaggerate it.
6#. I have never dated several people at the same time but that doesn't mean I wouldn't pick up someone in a bar or wherever if I only went out with you a few times.
I think you are living in a different world than most of us. If you new plan works for you, fine. I really don't think it will work. To me only a really desperate guy would do those things.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
