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So...I am convinced that I am being strung along by a guy. This has been going on for literally years:
I text him. He almost never responds. I ask if he wants to hang out over the weekend. He either does not respond or gives a busy excuse...after admitting he's doing nothing but laying about the house. I haven't physically seen him in like a year now. So I text him a goodbye message, telling him that I will disappear from his life completely, just like he seems to want. Then he gives me a call and has an hours long conversation with me. I am placated and continue to be his string-along friend. Then the cycle of ignoring and putting off repeats until I say I'm never speaking to him again - then I get another phone call or long response text. Repeat.
WTF? If he is not interested, why not just let me go??? Why try to keep me around? This is annoying to no end. I'm not a friend to him, not a girlfriend...why keep me around? What am I to you?
The sad part is... his string-along game has been so effective that I have been celibate since it began, faithfully waiting for him to claim me or something, at long last.
He hasn't texted me back for days. Not even a response to a simple "how are you?"...I feel like telling him I'm giving up again, but I already how that ends (see paragraph 2).
The game changer is the fact that I met a new guy where there is mutual interest. I emailed him and told him this (trying a new tactic since he doesn't respond to texts). But it wasn't an "I'm letting you go" email...it was an "I don't know how to choose between you and him" email. I can only pursue one romantic interest at once. Lol, who can predict his response, if any?
And he's moody as (expletive), so it's hard to distinguish between him being in a mood and him just not giving a (expletive) about me enough to communicate.
I don't know what to do...if there is even a slight chance he might stop stringing me along...how do I do it?
The problem isn't with him. The problem is with you. For he hasn't done this to you. Instead, you have allowed it.
You really need to think hard about why you value yourself so little as to desperately cling to a relationship such as this.
The only way to not be strung is to not allow yourself to be strung. You can't make a guy have deeper feelings for you if he doesn't. This guy clearly doesn't care too much for you. Just when you start to wise up and leave, he tells you what you want to hear so you'll stay.
As for why, could be a few reasons
1. Ego Boost
He likes that he's got a girl so stuck on him that she waits around and chases him.
2. Back-Up
He's with other women, but he likes having a girl on the back-burner he can get with if it's convenient or if a girl he really wants doesn't work.
Given the lack of effort this guy makes with you, and that you seem to be the one making all the calls and sending messages, his interest in you isn't very deep. And he keeps you around for reasons beneficialto him, not because he cares for you as a person, or your company.
So...I am convinced that I am being strung along by a guy. This has been going on for literally years:
I text him. He almost never responds. I ask if he wants to hang out over the weekend. He either does not respond or gives a busy excuse...after admitting he's doing nothing but laying about the house. I haven't physically seen him in like a year now. So I text him a goodbye message, telling him that I will disappear from his life completely, just like he seems to want. Then he gives me a call and has an hours long conversation with me. I am placated and continue to be his string-along friend. Then the cycle of ignoring and putting off repeats until I say I'm never speaking to him again - then I get another phone call or long response text. Repeat.
WTF? If he is not interested, why not just let me go??? Why try to keep me around? This is annoying to no end. I'm not a friend to him, not a girlfriend...why keep me around? What am I to you?
The sad part is... his string-along game has been so effective that I have been celibate since it began, faithfully waiting for him to claim me or something, at long last.
He hasn't texted me back for days. Not even a response to a simple "how are you?"...I feel like telling him I'm giving up again, but I already how that ends (see paragraph 2).
The game changer is the fact that I met a new guy where there is mutual interest. I emailed him and told him this (trying a new tactic since he doesn't respond to texts). But it wasn't an "I'm letting you go" email...it was an "I don't know how to choose between you and him" email. I can only pursue one romantic interest at once. Lol, who can predict his response, if any?
And he's moody as (expletive), so it's hard to distinguish between him being in a mood and him just not giving a (expletive) about me enough to communicate.
I don't know what to do...if there is even a slight chance he might stop stringing me along...how do I do it?
He doesn't deem being with you worthy of one-on-one quality time. Texting. What kind of **** is that? If he's a gamer, he spends more time with that, probably than he does with you. Far as I can see there is nothing between you. I mean when you separate texts and phone calls from face to face time, and time spent being in each other's presence, expressing affection for one another and communicating directly to one another, you really don't have anything with him.
Oh, and you can't accuse him of string you along. You don't even get some time of your own with him or some physical affection to even give you HOPE that anything is there. You're doing a number on yourself. You're trying to get this passive, indifferent person interested in you, and I think you should give this up, and from here on out, want only those who want you. Love only those who love you.
I read your title and I was just going to respond to it without even reading your post because there's really just one way to get a person to stop stringing you along, regardless of what the circumstance it. But, to be fair I guess, I read it anyways. My thought of reply didn't change.
The only way to get a guy to stop stringing you along is....you decide to stop letting him string you along.
You don't wait for him. You don't stop your world whenever he decides to call/text again. You don't cater to him only when it's convenient for him. You live your life as is and if/when he calls, you respond only when you feel like it. Like this cliche saying, "Don't make someone a priority when you're only an option."
You can't change a guy's actions towards you, you can only change your reaction towards the guy.
Don't tell him your plans to stop talking to him. He doesn't deserve an explanation with the wai he's treating you. Actions speak louder than words anyway.
OP, I don't think it's worth your brain cells to try to figure out what his problem. He's simply getting a thrill out of controlling your emotions. Point blank period.
Read what you wrote and think about what it really means. How many times and in how many ways does he have to tell you that he doesn't want you? It is not about you or who you are, it about him and what he wants. Have some respect for yourself and move on to be with someone who wants to be with you. Keep us posted on the guy who likes you.
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