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I think there was chemistry! He was the one for the most part who kept reaching out to hold my hand and to kiss me! On our first date he even told me that he wasn't a serial dater and that he didn't believe in casual sex. He didn't seem to be a "player" type.
I just really want to know what it was!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
If he has to make a big declaration of it on the first date, I would think he was trying to schmooze me. That's the furthest thing from a guy's mind who truly isn't a player. It wouldn't occur to him to put it up in lights.
But, that's just me, I guess. I was also wondering if it might be this (assuming he was sincere about not being after sex, which I wouldn't assume...):
A class or education difference, if it's not the other issue.
WTF? We had chemistry, both have the same taste in music, both like to travel, both read, both are foodies, both like to hike, and both of us have the same taste in movies.
These are all very surface level things. Fundamentally, you may be two different people and still have these things in common.
I think there was chemistry! He was the one for the most part who kept reaching out to hold my hand and to kiss me! On our first date he even told me that he wasn't a serial dater and that he didn't believe in casual sex. He didn't seem to be a "player" type.
I just really want to know what it was!
What it was is you dodging a bullet. I actually agree with you that it's crappy to initiate kissing someone multiple times before you're sure if there's something there.
Assuming it wasn't just that he was a player (you said you didn't get that read from him and I believe you), the only thing that springs to mind is that there was something else there that he saw as a conflict of interests. Something you might not have even noticed. Did discussion of politics come up, anything like that that he might have seen as a dealbreaker while you might not have?
But really, it may be futile to wonder why. I'm sorry you're hurting.
He wasn't feeling it - for whatever reason - and he decided to let you know. Have you never, ever had a decent time with someone, even a great time, but still felt something inside that wasn't quite right?
Then he shouldn't have been reaching out to hold her hand and kiss her. Over and over. I think she totally makes a case for having been led to believe he was "feeling it". But, that is life. May the next one be more clear with his actions.
Then he shouldn't have been reaching out to hold her hand and kiss her. Over and over. I think she totally makes a case for having been led to believe he was "feeling it". But, that is life. May the next one be more clear with his actions.
No, OP needs to restrain her emotions.
This is a very common way to test chemistry. Happens all the time, doesn't mean much.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hallouise
Then he shouldn't have been reaching out to hold her hand and kiss her. Over and over. I think she totally makes a case for having been led to believe he was "feeling it". But, that is life. May the next one be more clear with his actions.
Oh please, that is part of the dating process to find out if there is anything there to feel / connect to.
I think there was chemistry! He was the one for the most part who kept reaching out to hold my hand and to kiss me! On our first date he even told me that he wasn't a serial dater and that he didn't believe in casual sex. He didn't seem to be a "player" type.
I just really want to know what it was!
Instead of crying you should respect the fact that he was honest with you about the future. He didn't feel the same as you did. That doesnt make him wrong, it doesnt make you wrong.
Instead of crying you should respect the fact that he was honest with you about the future. He didn't feel the same as you did. That doesnt make him wrong, it doesnt make you wrong.
Exactly. It's not an insult. It's just not a match.
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He didn't seem like the type.