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I know it's pathetic, but I am hoping to hear from him even though I know it's not likely.
I met a guy online and we had a nice dinner on Friday night. There was never a dull moment in conversation, flirting was good, and we shared a lot of mutual interests. He later asked if I still wanted to do something after dinner so we did and went on a nice walk and shared a bottle of wine. He held my hand throughout the night after dinner. He went in for the kiss and we had nice, gentle kisses a few times during that night. He then asked me if I wanted to go out the very next day so I said yes.
When I came back home, he called me and we were on the phone for 45 minutes.
On Saturday we went on a hike and then watched a movie. Again no dull moments in conversation and he kissed me throughout the date again and still held my hand throughout the date. He texted me how he had a great time and I said I felt the same.
I then stopped hearing from him. Normally I don't care if a guy drop off the face of the Earth but for the first time in maybe 2 years, I met someone I actually really liked despite only going out 2 times! He just had a lot of the qualities I look for which are hard to find in 1 person.
I finally heard from him and he sent me something along the lines of "You are a great girl and I enjoyed having dinner with you but we are too different. Best wishes".
Completely blindsided me based on his actions and words.
I normally do not do this because typically when I've asked this, guys just come up with a lie to spare my feelings but I asked him why he doesn't want to see me anymore. He said something like "We have nothing in common and I don't want to start a relationship with someone I have nothing in common with, and I don't want to lead you on."
WTF? We had chemistry, both have the same taste in music, both like to travel, both read, both are foodies, both like to hike, and both of us have the same taste in movies.
For the life of me I don't know why he didn't want to see me again when it was clear he was interested in me.
Any ideas why he did this to me when it was going so well?
I get that, but if he was interested in another woman, why would he go on 2 back to back dates with me, kiss me, hold my hand, etc.?? Is it the norm when not being exclusive to date more than 1 woman and kiss all of them?
I get that, but if he was interested in another woman, why would he go on 2 back to back dates with me, kiss me, hold my hand, etc.?? Is it the norm when not being exclusive to date more than 1 woman and kiss all of them?
He either ditched you for another woman, or you didn't put out by the sec date.
Probably one of these. But it could be anything.
1. Maybe it was fun at the time, but afterward he just wasn't feeling it. That happens.
2. He may have met someone else, but lied to spare you.
3. Maybe he was off-put there was no sex
4. Maybe you 2 didn't have as much in common as you thought. Some things he may have just gone along with.
But if only 1 person felt it, there was no chemistry. It was one-sided attraction/infatuation on one person's part. Chemistry is 2 things working together. Apparently, only 1 person felt it was such.
There's no point in wondering "Why?" All you need to know is, he wasn't interested and it's good he told you that early rather than acting interested for weeks or months and then you being even more attached by the time he bowed out.
And yes, many people date numerous other before deciding on the best option for them to become exclusive. And kissing and hand-holding is seen as fair game. Exclusivity should never be assumed until a talk has happened. Otherwise, it you 2 only went on a few dates, then it is very possible he's got other women he planned to meet.
I think there was chemistry! He was the one for the most part who kept reaching out to hold my hand and to kiss me! On our first date he even told me that he wasn't a serial dater and that he didn't believe in casual sex. He didn't seem to be a "player" type.
I would say this is a good example of the "too much too soon" rule. Why all the kisses on the second date? Hand-holding a complete stranger on the first date? And rushing a 2nd date on the very next day?
Too much too soon. It very rarely, if ever, works out.
I think there was chemistry! He was the one for the most part who kept reaching out to hold my hand and to kiss me! On our first date he even told me that he wasn't a serial dater and that he didn't believe in casual sex. He didn't seem to be a "player" type.
I just really want to know what it was!
If he has to make a big declaration of it on the first date, I would think he was trying to schmooze me. That's the furthest thing from a guy's mind who truly isn't a player. It wouldn't occur to him to put it up in lights.
But, that's just me, I guess. I was also wondering if it might be this (assuming he was sincere about not being after sex, which I wouldn't assume...):
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdroplet76;
Are you from different socio economic classes? Is there a big income discrepancy? Is there an educational discrepancy?
A class or education difference, if it's not the other issue.
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And rushing a 2nd date on the very next day?