Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.Professional
So me and my IT co workers are discussing IT Nerds guys who apparently the stereotype we encounter is that IT guys suck at getting woman but we would like to know from experience what you guys had?
We personally don't suck at it but we ask the ladies have you dated an IT Guy / Nerd did all he talk about was hardware or software or what did he do right or wrong? any interesting story would be good thanks
|
Lordy, have I gone out with a LOT of IT guys. I've vowed never to do it again. They do NOT talk about hardware and software, they are generally aware that it doesn't make for good date conversation. some of them have geeky interests, but that is rarely the problem.
Some examples:
Two months with: A programmer who was so clueless...he never knew when I was kidding. He had his view of the future, and if mine didn't match it, he assumed I would change it. He had a hard time with social interactions, and it took me more than one try to break up with him, because he refused to accept/understand. His twin brother had died in an accident when they were teens.
4 months with: A programmer who had an anxiety disorder. He also had trouble with processing emotions. He was pretty damaged by his mother's suicide and subsequent neglect by his father. He told me he loved me and a few other mushy things, but later recanted and said he had only said what he thought I wanted to hear. (Good thing I was not in love with him!)
Six months with: A programmer who had an anxiety disorder/OCD. He had moved into sales, because he was a people person. Very personable and outgoing, his social skills were excellent. Alas, he was covering up some massive insecurities, caused by a bullying father. He was like a little boy inside. He didn't think I had what it took to be an emotional partner for him, all I could see was a lifetime of beggin him to take some anti-anxiety meds and him not wanting to. Compulsive overeater.
1 date with: A network specialist who bragged that all he did all day was watch movies on his iPhone and wait for someone to break the network. He was very smug about that for reasons I don't understand. No particular hobbies, and no effort whatsoever to woo me.
2 dates with an IT guy who couldn't leave his dog home alone because she had such anxiety that she actually DUG A HOLE in the side of his HOUSE trying to get out. When I pointed out that the anxiety started when his GF moved out, he said that was definitely not the cause. THis guy had a very flat affect...kinda emotionless, rarely smiled.
Three dates with a PhD student, mathematics. very emotionally damaged by crazy father. He was so messed up, he had trouble getting through his day without spacing out.
Three dates with: A programmer who told me that he didn't feel emotionally connected to women and wasn't capable of an actual relationship (he may have been gay)
Two dates with: Another IT guy (or maybe he was an engineer) who told me he'd go out with me if I wanted to be friends, but he didn't feel romantic connections with women. He was hoping he'd meet the woman who sparked some actual feelings.
Five dates with an IT guy for a major company who had just had gastric bypass and although he was fun to be with, he had no idea that he was supposed to make a move on me. He had no 'game'. I eventually just lost interest. He had a potty sense of humor.
Six or seven dates with a programmer for a major company who was very entertaining but seemed sorta fake and finally admitted he had no interest in an emotional connection, he only wanted sex.
one date with a co-worker of his who was warm and personable yet a little odd who just never asked me out again.
Have I gone out with other guys who: lacked self awareness, didn't know how to manage emotions, weren't sure what 'normal' was, lacked important social skills, etc, had disfunctional families, who were NOT IT guys? Yes. Have I gone out with IT guys who seemed fairly well adjusted? no.
Admittedly, I live in a high tech area, so a disproportionate number of single men i meet are IT types. It is unlikely I'll be able to stick to my vow.
This week I went out with: Software salesman at a major IT company who is 46 and never been married, I don't think there was much chemistry but I would go out with him if he asks. His social skills were fine but IMHO sometimes sales guys have a facade and not much behind it.
and might have a date with a sales guy at a major IT company who is not winning any awards for witty online communication. Finally had to drop a major hint that we should meet, he's got no game either.
And, ding ding ding, had dinner with an Environmental scientist (OSHA compliance ) whom I adored and would def. go out with again, he was the most genuine guy I've been out with in a long time> He was self aware, had a sense of humor, is responsible and practical, warm and kind, we have stuff in common. Having drinks with him again tomorrow. Alas, he has only been separated for 6 months and therefore is not a really good bet.
I just described 14 men: Five of them work for the same major IT company. I'm going to try to stick with that vow!
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
