Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I don't know why, but the guys that I like, never like me back significantly (beyond a few dates). I have plenty of guys that are NOT my type who are interested in me, but none where it's mutual.
This has happened to me repeatedly: I go on a few dates with a guy, we seem to like each other, but then...nothing. I have tried different approaches. Sometimes I have sex on the first date (usually if I'm insanely attracted to him...), sometimes on the second date, and sometimes I don't have sex while dating at all. The result is still the same, no matter what I do: disappears after a few dates.
I have also tried different approaches with the level of affection I show...sometimes I'm all lovey dovey and sometimes I try to play it cool. Nothing works.
What can I do (or what am I not doing) to encourage guys to stick around for a longer time? The crazy part is that I always get along well with, am sweet to, and complimenting of these guys. I don't know what I am or am not doing that makes them disinterested beyond sex or a few nice dates.
I am habitually relatively quiet until I get to know someone better, that is the one variable that is the same no matter what because it's just my personality. I'm also a bit weird, but not too weird (not psychotic). And, even though my username is 'Desperation' (surprised that one wasn't taken...), I'm not THAT desperate. I won't date just anyone. I have specific types of people that I date...but I may seem desperate FOR THEM, so who knows. But like I've said, I've tried playing it cool sometimes and that didn't work, either.
It almost seems like...the ones who appreciate me the most are the guys who I deem "boring" to me. They deem me interesting and like me. You know, the normal, clean-cut, regular guys. They are NOT bad, just not my type.
I have dated all over the map of "interesting" guys...just as an example, I dated one who genuinely believed himself to be a vampire. My most recent failure was a biker gang guy. But I don't know, it never works out.
Maybe I'm too boring for the guys who interest me, but interesting enough for the guys who bore me? I don't know. I don't want to be doomed to being with someone who bores me to death, but nor does anyone else. Help?
Last edited by Desperation; 05-09-2015 at 03:49 PM..
It almost seems like...the ones who appreciate me the most are the guys who I deem "boring" to me. They deem me interesting and like me. You know, the normal, clean-cut, regular guys. They are NOT bad, just not my type.
I have tried liking and getting to know those guys. I ended up "friendzoning" one of them for about 2 years, thinking "I will eventually like him", but never did.
Mod cut.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 05-09-2015 at 04:30 PM..
Reason: Orphaned (reply to post which has been deleted).
I don't know why, but the guys that I like, never like me back significantly (beyond a few dates). I have plenty of guys that are NOT my type who are interested in me, but none where it's mutual.
This has happened to me repeatedly: I go on a few dates with a guy, we seem to like each other, but then...nothing. I have tried different approaches. Sometimes I have sex on the first date (usually if I'm insanely attracted to him...), sometimes on the second date, and sometimes I don't have sex while dating at all. The result is still the same, no matter what I do: disappears after a few dates.
I have also tried different approaches with the level of affection I show...sometimes I'm all lovey dovey and sometimes I try to play it cool. Nothing works.
What can I do (or what am I not doing) to encourage guys to stick around for a longer time? The crazy part is that I always get along well with, am sweet to, and complimenting of these guys. I don't know what I am or am not doing that makes them disinterested beyond sex or a few nice dates.
I am habitually relatively quiet until I get to know someone better, that is the one variable that is the same no matter what because it's just my personality. I'm also a bit weird, but not too weird (not psychotic). And, even though my username is 'Desperate' (surprised that one wasn't taken...), I'm not THAT desperate. I won't date just anyone. I have specific types of people that I date...but I may seem desperate FOR THEM, so who knows. But like I've said, I've tried playing it cool sometimes and that didn't work, either.
It almost seems like...the ones who appreciate me the most are the guys who I deem "boring" to me. They deem me interesting and like me. You know, the normal, clean-cut, regular guys. They are NOT bad, just not my type.
I have dated all over the map of "interesting" guys...just as an example, I dated one who genuinely believed himself to be a vampire. My most recent failure was a biker gang guy. But I don't know, it never works out.
Maybe I'm too boring for the guys who interest me, but interesting enough for the guys who bore me? I don't know. I don't want to be doomed to being with someone who bores me to death, but nor does anyone else. Help?
perhaps you should appreciate the boring people who are interested and let the vampires go drink blood and the bikers ride bikes
you ever heard the saying about the definition of insanity? regarding doing the same thing and expecting a different result
noone can force you to like what you dont like, but dont expect things to be different
It sounds like you're doing the old "Throw it against the wall and see what sticks". In other words, you're trying to mold yourself into whatever you think your date is looking for. Trouble with that is, when you're not being genuine, people can see right through it.
OP, instead of being all over the place with your behavior, trying different kinds of things with different people, why not be yourself? Do you have a "yourself" to be? Do you know what that is?
Also: vampires? Biker gang guys? Why these choices? You don't have to go to extremes to find interesting guys. Try artists, or quirky tech guys (some are very creative and fun). If you're drawn to extremes, I'd wonder if there are some underlying issues there.
I think a combination of what you guys said may be right. I have tried taking different approaches to see what sticks...which means sometimes, I'm not being wholly genuine, just trying a new behavior and seeing if it works. And maybe they can see that. Also, I have never tried to change a man. I find men that I like as they are.
notice with some females here they arent saying stuff like "i like men that treats me right etc"
instead, like in this case it seems op is *attracted* to the mans hobbies vs the actual man
drinking blood isnt on most womens list of mate requirements
I actually agree with this. I am attracted to certain hobbies. You gotta admit vampirism is a cool hobby or way to identify yourself. I define myself by how I choose to spend my time as well.
And I think 90% of men would treat their girlfriend "right", so I try not to pay attention to stuff like that which is a given.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
