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Your lucky enough that this guy is being totally straight-up with you.
You can not believe him, you can do whatever you want and bear the consequences.
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Sorry Kim. RUN. I really hope this isn't true, but it sounds like you have had some difficulty (ie possible trauma, assault) in your past that is making you attracted to people who reject you and demean you. You have some other things going on in your life and the VERY LAST thing you need is an old guy using you for sex and being demeaning. Please, please walk away. And go talk to a therapist, maybe just to see what they say. You don't have to go back or anything, if you don't want to - just see what you think.
Also, as a girl who isn't much older than you, old guys who are interested in younger girls for sex are generally NOT good at it - they are just selfish. He outright told you he doesn't like you as a person, and is clearly wanting one sexual encounter and he'll move on. RUN. Sometimes these guys can't get age-appropriate women near them because those women already know this guy is a dud. It is unlikely you'll get much pleasure from him anyway. And think about it - there must be younger girls near him, so why is he going afar? Because they have already rejected him for a reason.
I'm 28 and I have been talking to this 40 year old man online for a year he and I live in different states. We've talked a few times on the phone and we have also sent sexy pictures to each other. He said he just wanted to have sex with me and that's it. I told him that I didn't want to be in a relationship with him. That I only wanted to be friends he said that he thought I was nice woman but that he didn't think we were compatible. He said that we had talked on the phone several times and that he didn't enjoy talking to me. I told him I knew it was because I asked him personal questions and that he makes me feel nervous. That he intimidates me in some way he asked me why I told him because he seemed like the type who likes perfection and that he seems judgmental. He said that was a misconception and false assumption. I told him I wanted to see him when I am in town and that I liked talking to him because he's older and has more experience. He said age has nothing to do with having experience and that we would talk about that.
I do not want to be in a romantic relationship with him but I would like to at least be friends with him. I'm just hoping that maybe if we actually meet in person we may actually become friends.
How is he a friend when he said he doesn't like talking to you over the phone, doesn't like the questions you ask him, says he only wants a sexual relationship with you, and side-steps any possibilities of being there for you as a friend for emotional support.
Sounds like he knows exactly what to feed you, especially someone who views as his playtoy, a 28 y.o. trusting person who he's caving in for just one thing.
Too convenient for him. You dropping around town, sure he'll stick around as he's made his point clear.
You might hope something may transpire even more out of this if you meet in person, but this guy knows exactly what he's doing, what you want, what he wants, and don't walk into this conscious/unconscious boobytrap of denial. You're worth more than that.
We have been going back and forth about meeting in person for 8 months now. When I first told him I wanted to meet him in person. He told me ok and just to let him know when I was in town. He never said anything about just wanting sex with me. Or that he didn't find me interesting etc. This is before we ever sent sex pictures to each other and before he told me he just wanted sex. When I first asked him if he wanted to have sex with me he said no. I kept asking him though because I wanted sex with him. This is why I am saying that this has to do with the things he has seen me say and do on Facebook. Engaging with other men and as I said I do admit that I have been flirting with other men. I only did it though because I wanted his attention to see his reaction which was stupid.
We have been going back and forth about meeting in person for 8 months now. When I first told him I wanted to meet him in person. He told me ok and just to let him know when I was in town. He never said anything about just wanting sex with me. Or that he didn't find me interesting etc. This is before we ever sent sex pictures to each other and before he told me he just wanted sex. When I first asked him if he wanted to have sex with me he said no. I kept asking him though because I wanted sex with him. This is why I am saying that this has to do with the things he has seen me say and do on Facebook. Engaging with other men and as I said I do admit that I have been flirting with other men. I only did it though because I wanted his attention to see his reaction which was stupid.
Quote:
Originally Posted by pyroandice
Sorry Kim. RUN. I really hope this isn't true, but it sounds like you have had some difficulty (ie possible trauma, assault) in your past that is making you attracted to people who reject you and demean you. You have some other things going on in your life and the VERY LAST thing you need is an old guy using you for sex and being demeaning. Please, please walk away. And go talk to a therapist, maybe just to see what they say. You don't have to go back or anything, if you don't want to - just see what you think.
Also, as a girl who isn't much older than you, old guys who are interested in younger girls for sex are generally NOT good at it - they are just selfish. He outright told you he doesn't like you as a person, and is clearly wanting one sexual encounter and he'll move on. RUN. Sometimes these guys can't get age-appropriate women near them because those women already know this guy is a dud. It is unlikely you'll get much pleasure from him anyway. And think about it - there must be younger girls near him, so why is he going afar? Because they have already rejected him for a reason.
You seem to think that you're going to get a do-over on the whole "engaging him sexually online" thing, and he'll see, once he "really gets to know you," that you're really not "like that" and he'll start looking at you as something besides a sexual object.
We have been going back and forth about meeting in person for 8 months now. When I first told him I wanted to meet him in person. He told me ok and just to let him know when I was in town. He never said anything about just wanting sex with me. Or that he didn't find me interesting etc. This is before we ever sent sex pictures to each other and before he told me he just wanted sex. When I first asked him if he wanted to have sex with me he said no. I kept asking him though because I wanted sex with him. This is why I am saying that this has to do with the things he has seen me say and do on Facebook. Engaging with other men and as I said I do admit that I have been flirting with other men. I only did it though because I wanted his attention to see his reaction which was stupid.
Hmm.. so you played with his jealousy and now it backfired.. and you're hoping to rebuild his trust again.
Still too convenient for him, and you guys aren't exclusive after 8 months of back and forth.
You can hang in there. Anything is possible. You're feeling as though he's scared and intimidated bc of the male attention you get. Lay low for now. You can't make someone feel something. He can't be that fickle, after 8 months.
A do over? No I do not think that at all I know once you put the thought of sex in a man's mind if doesn't go away.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TabulaRasa
You seem to think that you're going to get a do-over on the whole "engaging him sexually online" thing, and he'll see, once he "really gets to know you," that you're really not "like that" and he'll start looking at you as something besides a sexual object.
You seem to think that you're going to get a do-over on the whole "engaging him sexually online" thing, and he'll see, once he "really gets to know you," that you're really not "like that" and he'll start looking at you as something besides a sexual object.
True.
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