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Old 05-16-2015, 02:07 PM
 
Location: New Yawk
9,196 posts, read 7,208,181 times
Reputation: 15314

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It sucks: you think you hit it off, it seems like it might be going somewhere, and then it stops. That happens to everyone at some point and yes, it is a crushing blow to the ego when that attraction is one-sided... but on the other end, it's tough to let someone down gently. You're better off though, because workplace romances are a very delicate undertaking; many of us have tried it, only to crash and burn.
Quote:
Originally Posted by amber_rae View Post
I like him. And I thought we had chemistry and I thought he may have liked me. But then he began to act like I didn't exist and I would see him be friendly with the other women. I don't understand it.
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Old 05-16-2015, 02:08 PM
 
4 posts, read 3,544 times
Reputation: 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by rrah View Post
Not to be too harsh, but if he was interested in you, he wouldn't be acting like you don't exist.

Be thankful because you have dodged a bullet here. Work and play don't mix. Attempting to get him to notice you at work is unprofessional at best. Follow the good advice given here--don't mix work and relationships.

He was talking and flirting with me and then all of a sudden it stopped. And I've seen him being friendly with the other women. It confused me. I thought things were great, and for me it's just an office crush and the attention and flirtation is fun. I'm not looking for anything more. To be honest my ego and feelings are hurt. I thought we had a fun little office flirtation thing going on, and he just turns it off. I thought he was having a bad couple of days but I see him being friendly with the other women and then he walks right past me. I don't know how men think. Maybe he thought "oh god she likes me, gross - I know I'll be mean" or maybe he just saw something prettier and he was bored with flirting with me?
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Old 05-16-2015, 02:13 PM
 
Location: Kansas
25,788 posts, read 21,942,589 times
Reputation: 26421
Yes, he could have sensed your desperation for attention from him which would be a turnoff for many men knowing what a problem office romance can be or he may have learned enough about you to realize that you have nothing really in common.

You didn't by chance tell anyone else that you had a crush on him did you?
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Old 05-16-2015, 02:15 PM
 
4 posts, read 3,544 times
Reputation: 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnywhereElse View Post
Yes, he could have sensed your desperation for attention from him which would be a turnoff for many men knowing what a problem office romance can be or he may have learned enough about you to realize that you have nothing really in common.

You didn't by chance tell anyone else that you had a crush on him did you?
No I didn't tell anyone. Why do you ask?
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Old 05-16-2015, 02:27 PM
 
Location: New Yawk
9,196 posts, read 7,208,181 times
Reputation: 15314
It could just be he had an initial physical attraction, but maybe just wasn't feeling it after conversing. I've had that happen a few times, where personalities just don't click or maybe my humor came off the wrong way. No biggie, there's an ass for every seat.
Quote:
Originally Posted by amber_rae View Post
He was talking and flirting with me and then all of a sudden it stopped. And I've seen him being friendly with the other women. It confused me. I thought things were great, and for me it's just an office crush and the attention and flirtation is fun. I'm not looking for anything more. To be honest my ego and feelings are hurt. I thought we had a fun little office flirtation thing going on, and he just turns it off. I thought he was having a bad couple of days but I see him being friendly with the other women and then he walks right past me. I don't know how men think. Maybe he thought "oh god she likes me, gross - I know I'll be mean" or maybe he just saw something prettier and he was bored with flirting with me?
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Old 05-17-2015, 06:33 PM
 
Location: In bucolic TN
1,706 posts, read 3,299,655 times
Reputation: 2412
It seems a good time to invest in work. That's why you are there. Don't try office crush/attention/flirtation stuff. Not anything good to come of it. And if it hurts that much (thanks for being honest) you need to go easier or not play the game at all. If it is a game, no one gets hurt; if you are getting hurt, slow down or just stop. And what everyone else said about meat and bread/work and romance/flies and poop. Yeah.
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Old 05-17-2015, 06:36 PM
 
35,095 posts, read 51,103,864 times
Reputation: 62664
Quote:
Originally Posted by amber_rae View Post
How can I get my work crush to notice me?


There are a few other pretty girls in the office.


I know men are visual and it's probably too late to get his attention now, when he most likely is attracted to another girl in the office, more than he is attracted to me.


For a short while I thought he did like me, but then he he stopped talking to me and I've seen him talking to the other girls and being friendly with them, and then acting like I don't exist.

I'm not entirely sure how men's minds work. Are they just interested in you until something prettier comes around?

You don't.

Do NOT take Religion, Romance or Politics into the work place, it rarely ends well for anyone involved except for the gossip group who love this kind of stuff.

Also, if you have to "get him to notice" he is not interested or he would already have noticed you.
A "crush" will fade quickly, do the job you are paid to do, keep your personal life out of the office.
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Old 05-17-2015, 07:45 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,754,614 times
Reputation: 98359
Quote:
Originally Posted by calvincline47 View Post
What does it say about his character?
At minimum, that he is a care-less person.
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Old 05-17-2015, 08:15 PM
 
Location: Pa
42,763 posts, read 52,766,074 times
Reputation: 25362
He wants the one with big boobs.
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Old 05-17-2015, 08:22 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,754,614 times
Reputation: 98359
Quote:
Originally Posted by calvincline47 View Post
Really?

Maybe he was just talking to OP normally and he's a natural flirt. Maybe OP is blowing the perceived interest out of proportion. He may not even realize what's going on (and there is no indication that he does).

He's probably a good-looking guy that may be naturally flirty and OP may be shy and plain looking. She might be shooting out of her league.

Plenty of explanations more likely (and obvious) than what you are saying.
Maybe ...
Maybe ...
Maybe ...

**shrug**
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