She cheated right before the wedding

[aliwalas]

Originally Posted by Mikey fresh

I found out 3 weeks before our wedding that my fiancé was cheating on my with one of her clients. My suspicions arose around March and after enough doubt filled my mind I did the unthinkable. I went over all her phone records and found a pattern of calls to a strange number that I had never seen on her phone. After enough evidence was gathered I decided to confront and she denied it until I presented the evidence to her. She then admitted it and we called the wedding off. This was last week. Last night she calls me trying to work things out. Since the first discovery I also found out she was hiding money from me in a secret bank account. I have tried to let her go but she contacts me every other day to and it's hard for me to turn her away. After all, I was ready to commit my life to her in a matter of weeks. I know she is wrong for me but how do I fight the feeling to take her back considering I still love her

How do you fight the feeling to take her back?

Well, think back to what she did and how your life will be like if you do get back together?

Lies, mistrust, playing detective...

You probably should read this post every time you are inclined to take her back, just to remind yourself why it had to end.

[Teckeeee]

Originally Posted by cpg35223

Don't be a fool.

You are not in love with her. You are in love with the idea of her. Big difference between one and the other.

Block her calls. If she persists, get a restraining order. Because if she behaves this way scant weeks before you were to be married, how do you think she'll behave after you've tied the knot?

Very good advice

[blondiel]

Block contact with her. Every time you think of her, think $$$$$, attorney fees, $$$$$$$$$$$$, attorney fees. Be thankful that the break up is not costing you money along with emotional distress.

[UrbanAdventurer]

No need to hide from her...just tell her you want an air-tight prenup before you marry her. That'll send her running and hiding from you most likely.

No, in all seriousness, she just did you a HUGE favor. Maybe she'll regret her behavior some day or maybe she won't, but at least she didn't drag you down with her.

[JanND]

Change your cell number. Seriously, it could only get worse imo. Do not volunteer...remember she did not come to you with remorse after making a mistake with another man...You had to do the detective work, and she denied it until you prooved how much you already knew. In my mind, that is not someone who has learned their lesson and will not repeat it....This is someone who will just be smarter next time.

Love is supposed to be mutual and respectful and protective...so many things...none of which you mentioned when describing your relationship.

Love can be a terrible thing if it makes us make irrational decisions....thn it is more like co-dependency than love. Good luck to you...

[Teckeeee]

Originally Posted by JanND

Change your cell number. Seriously, it could only get worse imo. Do not volunteer...remember she did not come to you with remorse after making a mistake with another man...You had to do the detective work, and she denied it until you prooved how much you already knew. In my mind, that is not someone who has learned their lesson and will not repeat it....This is someone who will just be smarter next time.

Love is supposed to be mutual and respectful and protective...so many things...none of which you mentioned when describing your relationship.

Love can be a terrible thing if it makes us make irrational decisions....thn it is more like co-dependency than love. Good luck to you...

Another great post.

[Karassmatic]

Sounds like she is in love with someone else and just using you. Maybe you have money. She does not love you. Women don't just mess around like that. They are not males. When they sleep with someone they love them in some way. They cannot just smash and dash with no remorse like a male. She is in love withe the other guy. Don't marry her. If it was a one time lapse maybe you can forgive her. But not this. She has another boyfriend!

[Hawk J]

Originally Posted by lionking

whoa really, things have changed around here ugh? Given my track history style of posting better watch myself lol..... can we still say "boobs"?

Just be secretive about it, say booobs, or bobs.....

[hbdwihdh378y9]

Originally Posted by Mikey fresh

I found out 3 weeks before our wedding that my fiancé was cheating on my with one of her clients. My suspicions arose around March and after enough doubt filled my mind I did the unthinkable. I went over all her phone records and found a pattern of calls to a strange number that I had never seen on her phone. After enough evidence was gathered I decided to confront and she denied it until I presented the evidence to her. She then admitted it and we called the wedding off. This was last week. Last night she calls me trying to work things out. Since the first discovery I also found out she was hiding money from me in a secret bank account. I have tried to let her go but she contacts me every other day to and it's hard for me to turn her away. After all, I was ready to commit my life to her in a matter of weeks. I know she is wrong for me but how do I fight the feeling to take her back considering I still love her

I don't know, but you sound like you're strong enough to do it. It's understandable that you still have feelings, but I can tell that you know she's not right for you and that you respect yourself enough not to give in.

Good luck!