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No, my brothers don't smoke weed regularly. They both partake from time to time but never did with my ex. My ex is a very charismatic person and was really chilled and fun to be around (because he was permanently high).
They dont have the same experience as you do with him. To him he is just a cool dude.
The brothers sound like a bunch of losers. They probably want the OP stuck with this guy so she doesn't bring home a better guy who will make them pale in comparison to their parents.
If I were the OP, I'd limit contact with them until if/when they grow up.
Last edited by 495neighbor; 05-19-2015 at 11:25 AM..
Reason: add
tl:dr I was in a bad relationship which I ended, but my brothers take my ex's side and say I'm a b*tch for leaving.
I want to start by saying I generally love my family, the majority of the time we're very close and I have two brothers I care about deeply. Though we have arguments like any siblings do, lately things have been really good between us all.
Recently, I was in a relationship with a guy who I slowly found out was heavily addicted to pot. He smoked every chance he got, around 5 - 7 joints a day, often staying home to get baked over spending time with me. Anything that got in the way of his habit irritated him immensely, including me. Our sex life suffered because he was selfish in bed and lazy and afterwards I slowly developed an allergy to weed smoke which made my eyes water, my lips swell and my skin itch. He did absolutely nothing to curb his smoking and clearly didn't care that I was in pain.
Obviously, I became deeply unhappy with our relationship and I decided to end it. I wasn't in love with him and I felt he deserved to be with someone who he was more compatible with.
Since then, my brothers, who got on really really well with my ex, have completely turned on me. They both feel I was unreasonable to break up with him and should have put up with his pot smoking and my allergy and stayed. They constantly make digs at me about it, and over the weekend openly discussed it in front of both their SOs and told me I was horrible for ending the relationship.
Their whole attitude has me seriously upset and confused. I haven't regretted my decision at all since I ended it, yet now I'm questioning whether I did indeed make a big mistake because their comments are really getting to me. I'm not sure what else I can say to make it clear why I did what I did, I'm tired of being seen as a ***** for leaving and I'm really starting to resent my siblings because of this.
Ask your brothers why they feel it is any of their business. Also, inform them that you will not tolerate being verbally berated. Then, stop tolerating it.
Ask your brothers why they feel it is any of their business. Also, inform them that you will not tolerate being verbally berated. Then, stop tolerating it.
Better yet, tell them that its none of their business, period, or they may decide to give you more grief in response.
tl:dr I was in a bad relationship which I ended, but my brothers take my ex's side and say I'm a b*tch for leaving.
I want to start by saying I generally love my family, the majority of the time we're very close and I have two brothers I care about deeply. Though we have arguments like any siblings do, lately things have been really good between us all.
Recently, I was in a relationship with a guy who I slowly found out was heavily addicted to pot. He smoked every chance he got, around 5 - 7 joints a day, often staying home to get baked over spending time with me. Anything that got in the way of his habit irritated him immensely, including me. Our sex life suffered because he was selfish in bed and lazy and afterwards I slowly developed an allergy to weed smoke which made my eyes water, my lips swell and my skin itch. He did absolutely nothing to curb his smoking and clearly didn't care that I was in pain.
Obviously, I became deeply unhappy with our relationship and I decided to end it. I wasn't in love with him and I felt he deserved to be with someone who he was more compatible with.
Since then, my brothers, who got on really really well with my ex, have completely turned on me. They both feel I was unreasonable to break up with him and should have put up with his pot smoking and my allergy and stayed. They constantly make digs at me about it, and over the weekend openly discussed it in front of both their SOs and told me I was horrible for ending the relationship.
Their whole attitude has me seriously upset and confused. I haven't regretted my decision at all since I ended it, yet now I'm questioning whether I did indeed make a big mistake because their comments are really getting to me. I'm not sure what else I can say to make it clear why I did what I did, I'm tired of being seen as a ***** for leaving and I'm really starting to resent my siblings because of this.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life
[/b]
Then you should tell them that.
He may have been fun to be around, for them ... to a point, but they did not live YOUR experience and frankly have NO right to tell you how to live.
Look at this as a chance to practice asserting your personal boundaries with them. It doesn't have to be a fight, but whenever they judge and insult you, tell them that's inappropriate and hurtful and you want them to stop.
If they don't, tell them you will leave and not be around them if they continue.
Then follow through.
well said, OP you can learn a lot from this one.
Quote:
Originally Posted by rachelmcandrew
I just turned 27. They are 25 and 23, the 23 year old is the one who is being particularly horrible about this.
the next time they start in on you, tell them to go live with your ex for 5 months, and find out what he is really like, and then come back and talk to you about it. and then tell them until that happens they need to remember that you are living your life the way you see fit, and if they cant handle that, then they can just never come around you again until they grow up.
if that doesnt work beat them with a baseball bat, preferably while they are sleeping that way you have an advantage.
the next time they start in on you, tell them to go live with your ex for 5 months, and find out what he is really like, and then come back and talk to you about it. and then tell them until that happens they need to remember that you are living your life the way you see fit, and if they cant handle that, then they can just never come around you again until they grow up.
if that doesnt work beat them with a baseball bat, preferably while they are sleeping that way you have an advantage.
This is true - they have absolutely no idea how badly he treated me! Even when I tell them, they don't seem to care. My ex is God in their eyes.
This is true - they have absolutely no idea how badly he treated me! Even when I tell them, they don't seem to care. My ex is God in their eyes.
Your ex is not God
Your brothers are idiots tell them to shut up and be done with them.
If they want your ex so bad they can date and marry him, take turns with him even.
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