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I have became friends with this guy during this year. We spend lots of time together every week, also just me and him together. He will soon move quite far away. I think I am really having a big crush on him, but also he is one of the closest friends of mine. I think there is a big possibility that he has feelings too. We are both quite shy.
Should I risk our (really beautifull) friendship and tell how I feel?
Or is it a super bad timing to tell now? Should I keep the friendship alive and tell him maybe later if we will live closer and both still single?
I have became friends with this guy during this year. We spend lots of time together every week, also just me and him together. He will soon move quite far away. I think I am really having a big crush on him, but also he is one of the closest friends of mine. I think there is a big possibility that he has feelings too. We are both quite shy.
Should I risk our (really beautifull) friendship and tell how I feel?
Or is it a super bad timing to tell now? Should I keep the friendship alive and tell him maybe later if we will live closer and both still single?
If you have feelings for him, a "really beautiful" friendship is not going to exactly be fulfilling.
Nor is sitting around speculating about whether or not he has feelings for you. Eventually this will just be torture.
It sounds like it is time to learn to communicate your feelings to those who you have feelings for. Stop being so shy.
Or is it a super bad timing to tell now? Should I keep the friendship alive and tell him maybe later if we will live closer and both still single?
This.
You have nothing to gain as he is moving far away.
Keep and savor the friendship. And you may get closer, relationally and geographically, in the future.
Friendships between guys and girls don't last. You risk nothing.
Worrying about "risking a friendship" is stupid because you keep your friendship until one gets in a relationship and you then start to never see them again.
I'm sure I'll get people giving me anecdotal exceptions... but let's face it. That's just how it goes.
Keep the friendship alive for now, it is not the right timing to tell him that you have feelings for him.
Respect him, and tell him when the time is right. You shouldn't let yourself get in the way of his plans, it wouldn't make for a good starting point for a relationship.
Keep things practical for now! Carry on with your great friendship!
Thank you so much for your responses.. Now I am starting to think maybe I should not tell him yet. But because of it is smart decision or am I just too scared? I do not know.. :O
Friendships between guys and girls don't last. You risk nothing.
Worrying about "risking a friendship" is stupid because you keep your friendship until one gets in a relationship and you then start to never see them again.
I'm sure I'll get people giving me anecdotal exceptions... but let's face it. That's just how it goes.
It is not just how it goes, I've had the same male friends for more than 20 years. Mr. CSD has had the same female friends for longer than that.
Men and women can continue to be just friends without any romantic or intimate feelings at all.
Unless you are so sure that you BOTH want something more than friendship AND have a good chance at making it work, why would you want to mess up his plans to move? I agree that you missed your chance - now he's made other plans and it's quite selfish to want to spring something on him just on a whim.
If you'd done this months ago and something had developed he may not have decided to move, but now is not the right time. And it could very well be that you ONLY feel more strongly about him now just because you know he's leaving...so let him be and use this lesson for the future.
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