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OP, I'd start making plans to take your own vacation while he is gone ~ don't tell him about it, just go and be sure to share your pictures of you having fun while your old man is playing single Dad with his daughter.
I went to Cancun with my parents. We went snorkeling, visited the Mayan ruins, golfed with my dad, and had a great time. I could see going with a parent alone if they were divorced because there is a way to do Cancun without doing Spring Break Cancun. I do not think the vacation itself makes him creepy or a creep.
I think it just stems down to navigating through the communication dynamic of a new marriage.
I just got married 4 months ago. We are also looking to relocate to Florida by the end of summer and due to this fact we have decided to wait on out honeymoon plans until we get settled in to our new life in a new state.
My husband just announced that HE is going to Cancun with his daughter (she is 30 and single) some time in October and that it is all set. I am not invited to this trip. He said this is supposed to be a bonding experience with her and to make memories. That's all fine and dandy, but shouldn't he be making plans with me first as his new bride? to make memories with me? or am I being upset over nothing?
Tell me what you think....
I think you should have said "how lovely" & then asked "if your honeymoon trip was all set, too?" because you definitely are looking forward to that.
Your new husband is either completely clueless, or an ASS. You need figure that out. Don't stay married to an ass. Life is much too short.
Who cares where they are going to? Maybe he asked the daughter where she wants to go and she said "Cancun"
It doesn't make a difference that he should not be going with her anywhere until there was a honeymoon! Or at least tell his new wife beforehand "hey, you know I wanted to go on this trip with my daughter for many years now and I know it is bad timing, but I was thinking that maybe ...."
But he didn't do it. He just booked it and told his new wife AFTER he booked. NOT FAIR!
The daughter is 30 and he just got married. Taking a trip with his new wife should be a priority over going to Cancun with an adult child. This is so weird. I'm 31 and I wouldn't WANT to go to Cancun with my dad just the two of us. That definitely seems like a trip to take with a significant other, or when you're 18 and you want to go nuts with your friends.
I reread the OP to be sure -- It doesn't say whose idea this father-daughter idyll in Cancun was.
What if she dreamed it up and he's so flattered she thought of spending time with him that he can't think straight?
In the last 20 years I've seen more friends and acquaintances than I can count go bats because their father is remarrying. They suspect that the inheritance they always assumed they'd get will go to second wifey instead. Indeed, that's the way it usually plays out. As an adult child, you cannot compete with the person who is sleeping with your parent.
But what if you had a chunk of one-on-one time with your parent and ample opportunity to play on his heartstrings? This usually doesn't happen because a husband-the-second-time-around knows he and his new wife are a team. For some reason, this guy didn't get the memo.
I reread the OP to be sure -- It doesn't say whose idea this father-daughter idyll in Cancun was.
What if she dreamed it up and he's so flattered she thought of spending time with him that he can't think straight?
In the last 20 years I've seen more friends and acquaintances than I can count go bats because their father is remarrying. They suspect that the inheritance they always assumed they'd get will go to second wifey instead. Indeed, that's the way it usually plays out. As an adult child, you cannot compete with the person who is sleeping with your parent.
But what if you had a chunk of one-on-one time with your parent and ample opportunity to play on his heartstrings? This usually doesn't happen because a husband-the-second-time-around knows he and his new wife are a team. For some reason, this guy didn't get the memo.
A mature adult child should not feel threatened by a parent remarrying.
Did you re-read post 16? The OP has no issue with the concept of a father/daughter trip in principle.
So I think in this thread we can stop trying to justify why he has some right to spend time with his daughter since that point is not in dispute.
It still is no excuse for him to fail to mention anything until it was all signed, sealed, and delivered.
A mature adult child should not feel threatened by a parent remarrying.
Did you re-read post 16? The OP has no issue with the concept of a father/daughter trip in principle.
So I think in this thread we can stop trying to justify why he has some right to spend time with his daughter since that point is not in dispute.
It still is no excuse for him to fail to mention anything until it was all signed, sealed, and delivered.
Not to mention, they delayed honeymoon plans because of relocating, and then he suddenly plans a trip to bond and make memories with his daughter? How can someone show so little consideration and respect to their new spouse. Baffling.
I would be upset if I delayed my honeymoon until after we moved at the end of the summer and my new husband completely planned a vacation with someone else for the time frame we could be taking our honeymoon and didn't bother to mention it until it was a done deal.
Quote:
Originally Posted by reneeh63
Perhaps he is not used to having another person to consider (you).
I wondered this too. The OP is 48, but how old is the hubby, how long was he single, and how long did they date before getting married?
Mod cut.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 05-21-2015 at 01:37 PM..
Reason: Replies to 2 deleted posts.
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