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Discounting superficial aspects (appearance and taste in music, movies, etc),
In my experience, taste in music and movies is NOT superficial. Not if you want to spend a lot of quality time with your partner. Part of forming a strong bond with ones s/o is experiencing new things with them, and that would include going to concerts and watching tv shows and movies together.
In my experience, taste in music and movies is NOT superficial. Not if you want to spend a lot of quality time with your partner. Part of forming a strong bond with ones s/o is experiencing new things with them, and that would include going to concerts and watching tv shows and movies together.
I used to think this way, however if I were to eliminate every woman who didn't share the same tastes in music and film as me I'd probably never get a date. I like different genres of music, but my very favorite leans more to not well-known/non-mainstream music. My G/F luckily likes seeing similar films that I do, but when I mention music I get a puzzled look. She has admitted though that I have introduced her to some interesting stuff that she otherwise would have never listened too.
With age comes life experience, hopefully some wisdom, and different priorities. I could see having a mutual physical attraction with a 20-something, but couldn't see myself having a serious relationship with someone so young, because we'd be at completely different points in our life.
And maturity is also affected by ones life experiences and also culture. I know plenty of immature men in their thirties and even forties, but mature adults in their twenties because they have grown up in another country or experienced hardships at an early age.
I would say that my stepdad was very mature in his mid-twenties when he married my mother. And much more mature and responsible to the thirty year old men I see today.
You always find and marry a woman who already has children. Do you really feel the need to pass on your genetic material?
That makes no sense. I always marry women with children? I've only been married once and had no children. But yes, I do want my own. However, I'll date a woman with one if she wants another one.
I used to think this way, however if I were to eliminate every woman who didn't share the same tastes in music and film as me I'd probably never get a date. I like different genres of music, but my very favorite leans more to not well-known/non-mainstream music. My G/F luckily likes seeing similar films that I do, but when I mention music I get a puzzled look. She has admitted though that I have introduced her to some interesting stuff that she otherwise would have never listened too.
Every relationship situation is unique and different. But it would be a shame to have to ask other friends out in order to see a favorite musician or feel that one is torturing ones boyfriend while picking the tv show to watch. And for me, realistically there is no perfect man out there for me, but more that I look for the best combination of traits with the least amount of compromise. And I do encourage my boyfriend to spend time with his guy friends. I certainly don't want to feel smothered in the relationship. So my boyfriend and I are perfectly aligned in our taste in cars, mostly the same for music and tv shows, and food. However, in terms of my passion for antiques, work and Brussels sprouts... well I do have my antique hunting friends and co-workers (I do have a work husband) for my support system. And the Brussels sprouts I cook a small portion for myself periodically.
TMBG summed it up quite nicely in post #137. Reiterating, there will always be exceptions and outliers, but they are just that: exceptions to the norm. If you want to use anecdotes to account for every possible deviation from the norm, rock on.
Quote:
Originally Posted by miu
And maturity is also affected by ones life experiences and also culture. I know plenty of immature men in their thirties and even forties, but mature adults in their twenties because they have grown up in another country or experienced hardships at an early age.
I would say that my stepdad was very mature in his mid-twenties when he married my mother. And much more mature and responsible to the thirty year old men I see today.
They are superficial in the sense that they are sufficient to spark an initial attraction, but not enough to sustain a long-term, meaningful relationship.
Quote:
In my experience, taste in music and movies is NOT superficial. Not if you want to spend a lot of quality time with your partner. Part of forming a strong bond with ones s/o is experiencing new things with them, and that would include going to concerts and watching tv shows and movies together.
At age 31 I dated a 19 year old girl. Didn't work. I work(ed) a 60 hour a week job while she was in college. She'd text me at random hours of the day / week asking what i was doing and if i could come hang out with her. Mind you I'm at work trying to earn an income. She attends class for 3 or 4 hours a day and the occasional sorority meeting / activity. Hung out with her and her roommates a handful of times but never took part in any of her sorority / college related activities. Went to a few football games with her. Broke down and went to her sororities couples themed halloween party. Could not for the life of me get into it. Around 10 pm when the party is just getting started all I wanted to do was go home and go to bed haha. Sex was not bad though.
In my experience, taste in music and movies is NOT superficial. Not if you want to spend a lot of quality time with your partner. Part of forming a strong bond with ones s/o is experiencing new things with them, and that would include going to concerts and watching tv shows and movies together.
My opinion exactly. Commonality can grow with shared experiences.
My opinion exactly. Commonality can grow with shared experiences.
Yeah, plus I find it hard to believe you can't find common ground.
My fiancee listens to some of the worst music I've ever heard...electronic and reggaeton.
However we also agree on plenty of other music.
We just came to agreement, when we're in the car together I don't put on Metal and she doesn't put on Reggaeton. Todos felices...
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