Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Met a woman took her out on a couple of dates, was pretty into her thus far, and pretty sure she feels the same way. We've been intimate, but I can tell she's a bit guarded and cautious when it comes to relationships.
Anyway my ex gf who broke up with me a couple of months ago, contacted me this past week, we met up and she wants to reconcile. We were together about 6 months or so, and I've realized I still have feelings for her, and would like to give it another try.
I know I obviously can't have both women, and since I really want to give my relationship another try I have to break it off with this woman, or do I even? I mean it's been 5 dates, I know both guys and girls have disappeared after more than that without a word (I know I have). I just really liked and respect her, and while I know this may sound horrible, I'm thinking if it doesn't work out with my ex, I would like to date this woman again.
So my question is should I just be honest with this girl? Tell her the ex is back in the picture? Or do I just disappear without a word since we never even discussed being exclusive or anything?
Met a woman took her out on a couple of dates, was pretty into her thus far, and pretty sure she feels the same way. We've been intimate, but I can tell she's a bit guarded and cautious when it comes to relationships.
Anyway my ex gf who broke up with me a couple of months ago, contacted me this past week, we met up and she wants to reconcile. We were together about 6 months or so, and I've realized I still have feelings for her, and would like to give it another try.
I know I obviously can't have both women, and since I really want to give my relationship another try I have to break it off with this woman, or do I even? I mean it's been 5 dates, I know both guys and girls have disappeared after more than that without a word (I know I have). I just really liked and respect her, and while I know this may sound horrible, I'm thinking if it doesn't work out with my ex, I would like to date this woman again.
So my question is should I just be honest with this girl? Tell her the ex is back in the picture? Or do I just disappear without a word since we never even discussed being exclusive or anything?
Why would you date someone who you see breaking up with again? You can tell this woman that you want to see someone else, just to give her a heads up and not be a wimp and dip out. And how do you know if this woman would want to go out with you after possibly breaking up with your ex? You might be missing out on a great woman to get back with your ex, but if you want to get back with her, then whatever you want to do, dude.
If you'd been out with the woman a couple of times and things remained relatively platonic, I'd say that no explanation for a vanishing act is necessary. If you've been intimate, then a vanishing act with no explanation is in poor taste - discussions of exclusivity or no.
For real, though, don't expect her to wait around to be the backup "if things don't work out" with the ex. Seriously.
Let me clarify, I am in no way expecting her to sit around and wait for me, that's why I'd prefer to be honest with her and not string her along. She's attractive, smart, and funny...I totally understand that chances of me getting with her again are slim to none, since she probably won't stay single for long. But I just want to do this in a way that if there is a possibility of it ever happening again, she doesn't dismiss me as a total jerk.
Just tell her you have some unfinished emotional business with the ex to sort out. You really like her and would hate to bring excess baggage into what you anticipate could yield a very strong and positive relationship.
However, you may be making a mistake going back to the ex. 6 months is hardly a relationship, secondly...she broke up with you and now out of the blue, is trying to reconnect. Perhaps when the next thing comes up, she'll repeat. Never give anyone that much power over you. She ended things with you, you are working on establishing a new relationship, I say you snooze you lose. Let her wait and see how things play out. If it doesn't workout and she is still available then may be you guys try again.
People will only treat you the way you allow them to. Just my 2 cents
Met a woman took her out on a couple of dates, was pretty into her thus far, and pretty sure she feels the same way. We've been intimate, but I can tell she's a bit guarded and cautious when it comes to relationships.
Anyway my ex gf who broke up with me a couple of months ago, contacted me this past week, we met up and she wants to reconcile. We were together about 6 months or so, and I've realized I still have feelings for her, and would like to give it another try.
I know I obviously can't have both women, and since I really want to give my relationship another try I have to break it off with this woman, or do I even? I mean it's been 5 dates, I know both guys and girls have disappeared after more than that without a word (I know I have). I just really liked and respect her, and while I know this may sound horrible, I'm thinking if it doesn't work out with my ex, I would like to date this woman again.
So my question is should I just be honest with this girl? Tell her the ex is back in the picture? Or do I just disappear without a word since we never even discussed being exclusive or anything?
don't get back into it with the ex. you'll just wreck the other girl and make her more guarded and cautious about relationships, and when your ex dumps you again the other girl won't want you back either.
don't get back into it with the ex. you'll just wreck the other girl and make her more guarded and cautious about relationships, and when your ex dumps you again the other girl won't want you back either.
I had a really good connection with the ex, also she is closer to my age, and I am a divorced man with kids. I don't really want more children, the new woman is quite a bit younger than me, never married and wants kids. While I'm not totally opposed to having more children, I'd prefer not to at this point in my life, and the ex does not want kids. Either way I still have strong feelings for my ex, and don't really know the new girl all that well yet, the ex isn't really giving me an option to take my time on this. It's either we try this again or not, we've agreed that if we do this we will be exclusive.
And while she did break up with me, it wasn't totally her fault, I won't bore you with the details....but we were both at fault.
Well then, consider your next steps carefully. Just don't expect the new girl to be understanding. You don't know her all that well, it sounds like you've already made up your mind.
Let me clarify, I am in no way expecting her to sit around and wait for me, that's why I'd prefer to be honest with her and not string her along. She's attractive, smart, and funny...I totally understand that chances of me getting with her again are slim to none, since she probably won't stay single for long. But I just want to do this in a way that if there is a possibility of it ever happening again, she doesn't dismiss me as a total jerk.
Then why would you think about just pulling a disappearing act?
Then why would you think about just pulling a disappearing act?
Because it's kinda awkward to tell someone you're seeing, that you're breaking up with them in order to get back with your ex. It's kinda like what she doesn't know won't hurt her. But I will tell her, I don't want to just disappear on her, I owe her that much.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
