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You didn't answer all the points but what is ridiculous is that this thread is now approaching 200 posts. The horse has been beaten to death and vaporized.
You haven't been married I am assuming, because some of your points seem naive to me. All sorts of marriage vows are broken all the time, some resulting in divorce and some not. How do you enforce being cherished? "You are not cherishing me!!!" "Yes, I am!" "No, you're not!"
For better or worse? Really? How worse? Stay with a drug addict who blows through the family assets and has no desire to get help?
If both parties made a mistake should they stay together and be miserable for the rest of their lives?
Don't get me wrong, I believe strongly in doing everything possible to make marriages work, but I also understand that sometimes it is not possible.
The couple in the article did what they felt needed to be done to make their marriage work.
What an absurd and shameful assumption. I am actually married and have 3 kids too. Are you married? If so, is it your first marriage?
I'm not stating that these things don't happen or that people are perfect. That is actually what my point has been, that people aren't commited to marriage and rarely actually attempt to fulfill their vows. There isn't a clear cut way deciding when someone has failed at marriage or hasn't fulfilled their duty. Every relationship is different.
What you are hung up on, is you can't get past the fact that I have a different perspective on marriage than you. That doesn't make me naive and it means I don't see it the same way you do.
Last edited by justtitans; 05-29-2015 at 02:03 PM..
First of all, I don't endorse this or this article, which is littered with inaccurate information. I am more interested in the topic. Would you actually considering doing this or have you done this? To me, I don't want to think about one man touching my wife in such a way or even doing anything with her. This is just strange and her logic for doing it is ridiculous. She sounds like she has commitment issues. Thoughts?
Would I do this? No .Going on 34 years here and I can honestly say our love is deeper and stronger as the years gone by, not saying we haven't had our problems, sure we've been tempted here and there yet denied our-self because we love each other and know it would destroy us both and why would we want cause such hurt and harm to the one we love... If anything it's made us both stronger and deeply committed to our marriage and each other ....Trust is the glue that keeps it all together~ !
Second ...I won't judge two adults who are in agreement on sharing themselves outside their marriages with another !...
What an absurd and shameful assumption. I am actually married and have 3 kids too. Are you married? If so, is it your first marriage?
I'm not stating that these things don't happen or that people are perfect. That is actually what my point has been, that people aren't commited to marriage and rarely actually attempt to fulfill their vows. There isn't a clear cut way deciding when someone has failed at marriage or hasn't fulfilled their duty. Every relationship is different.
What you are hung up on, is you can't get past the fact that I have a different perspective on marriage than you. That doesn't make me naive and it means I don't see it the same way you do.
First marriage I was widowed after 18 years. I have remarried.
No one is hung up that you have a different view, only that you seem hung up on the fact that others have a different view.
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First marriage I was widowed after 18 years. I have remarried.
No one is hung up that you have a different view, only that you seem hung up on the fact that others have a different view.
I'm sorry for your lost but glad that you found someone else.
I don't care if people have other views. I'm not being critical of other people. You can see I have had cordial conversations with several people in these type of relationships so if I really was hung up on people having a different view, then why was I able to have such a productive conversation with those individuals?
Have you been reading the thread? My point was mainly focusing on what I believed SHOULD be doing instead of what they actually do.
I'm sorry for your lost but glad that you found someone else.
I don't care if people have other views. I'm not being critical of other people. You can see I have had cordial conversations with several people in these type of relationships so if I really was hung up on people having a different view, then why was I able to have such a productive conversation with those individuals?
Have you been reading the thread? My point was mainly focusing on what I believed SHOULD be doing instead of what they actually do.
I think you have been totally cool about the discussion.
I think the bolded is what I disagree with. There is no point thinking what others should be doing. They have to live their life and do what makes them happy. Some on here have shared they are in open relationships and happy, and I believe them. I know I couldn't work with that, nor could my husband. For all of us it doesn't matter what anyone thinks we should be doing.....
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My high school friend who is poly. She and her primary husband live next door in a townhouse to the other couple and they are all one great big combined family. They sleep with one another and together as they please. They are all considered parents equally to the brood of children they have amongst them. This has allowed for a lot more coverage of parental responsibilities. It's as much a communal living arrangement for sharing the load of adult responsibility, as it is a sex thing. They've all been together for...jeez, if I had to guess, close to 20 years? A long time. The oldest of the kids are teenagers now.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,937 posts, read 36,951,955 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by justtitans
I'm sorry for your lost but glad that you found someone else.
I don't care if people have other views. I'm not being critical of other people. You can see I have had cordial conversations with several people in these type of relationships so if I really was hung up on people having a different view, then why was I able to have such a productive conversation with those individuals?
Have you been reading the thread? My point was mainly focusing on what I believed SHOULD be doing instead of what they actually do.
You said what the person in the article was doing is wrong. That's critical by any definition.
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