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I'd prefer the bad relationship over being single any day of the week. Although I'm speaking for myself, I think a lot of men would prefer a relationship with lots of volatility as opposed to being single. A lot of them just don't want to admit it.
Lol, speak for yourself.
I've never been in a relationship, but there is ZERO CHANCE I'd trade in my singleness to be in a bad relationship, absolutely 0.
single happy > single lonely
married happy > married miserable
And it's not a stretch to see
single happy > married miserable
married happy > single lonely
and the honest truth is for me, after reflecting upon the seasons of my life:
married happy > single happy
and I mean that, as a single guy who just spent last night playing Jenga with 3 lesbians, and being bought free drinks from a married couple, and I'm going on a all-day motorcycle ride tomorrow, and I'm going to a burlesque show tuesday, and really none of this stuff would conceivably happen if I was married and doing the suburbian christian thing. So I'm 'happy', but I was 'more happy' when I was in a committed monogamous marriage and one person loved me, as opposed to a blur of random faces (some reoccur) to fill my time.
but the next equation is like asking someone, would you rather spend the rest of eternity in the 3rd Ring of Hell, or the 5th Ring of Hell?!?
married miserable > single lonely
- or -
single lonely > married miserable
but never do I envy. I've lived all sides of the cube.
single happy > single lonely
married happy > married miserable
And it's not a stretch to see
single happy > married miserable
married happy > single lonely
and the honest truth is for me, after reflecting upon the seasons of my life:
married happy > single happy
and I mean that, as a single guy who just spent last night playing Jenga with 3 lesbians, and being bought free drinks from a married couple, and I'm going on a all-day motorcycle ride tomorrow, and I'm going to a burlesque show tuesday, and really none of this stuff would conceivably happen if I was married and doing the suburbian christian thing. So I'm 'happy', but I was 'more happy' when I was in a committed monogamous marriage and one person loved me, as opposed to a blur of random faces (some reoccur) to fill my time.
but the next equation is like asking someone, would you rather spend the rest of eternity in the 3rd Ring of Hell, or the 5th Ring of Hell?!?
married miserable > single lonely
- or -
single lonely > married miserable
but never do I envy. I've lived all sides of the cube.
You hit it on the bold section and it's how I feel too. Being monogamous and happy feels so much better than even when I'm single and happy. While living the single life now, I feel I have to engage in a lot of different activities and people to keep faking it till I make it. A lot of the time I worn out mentally from the end of the day, since I don't always want to be so sociable. Yet, I know I'm never going to meet anyone if I don't get off my couch.
You hit it on the bold section and it's how I feel too. Being monogamous and happy feels so much better than even when I'm single and happy. While living the single life now, I feel I have to engage in a lot of different activities and people to keep faking it till I make it. A lot of the time I worn out mentally from the end of the day, since I don't always want to be so sociable. Yet, I know I'm never going to meet anyone if I don't get off my couch.
I have to admit...as a single person....it definitely is exhausting because you have to constantly find things to keep yourself from feeling lonely or out of place because you are not in a relationship. I discovered that today myself. I hope that "being happy with yourself" turns out to be a true thing whenever I get to that point. Me personally, I never was interested in the casual thing....sure I have a lot of guys that hit on me, but so do a lot of other women. It's nothing new....that committed and loving relationship seems to be a lot more fulfilling. While, it is not something that is a MAJOR priority, I still hope deep down that I can come across someone to share that bond with.
I have to admit...as a single person....it definitely is exhausting because you have to constantly find things to keep yourself from feeling lonely or out of place because you are not in a relationship. I discovered that today myself. I hope that "being happy with yourself" turns out to be a true thing whenever I get to that point. Me personally, I never was interested in the casual thing....sure I have a lot of guys that hit on me, but so do a lot of other women. It's nothing new....that committed and loving relationship seems to be a lot more fulfilling. While, it is not something that is a MAJOR priority, I still hope deep down that I can come across someone to share that bond with.
It's a day to day thing with me. It's VERY TOUGH at times to be quite honest. I am friends with a guy on facebook who I've hung out with a few times. This guy is literally doing something different everyday, and he post on ton of facebook to show potential women how "interesting" it is; however, it's really not getting him any dates or any women serious about him. My motto on that issue, is I'm not going to run myself ragged just to put myself in more circles to meet women. It's exhausting, which means it takes my focus away from my job, which pays the bills for me to be able to enjoy life.
I'm particularly not an attention ***** with facebook either, because I think the only people that even care are me. I guess you can say I'm pretty private with what I do in my personal life. It's really tough somtimes, because many times I just want to sit on my couch and cuddle up with a dinner I cooked and a "stupid chick flick (haha)" she picked out. That's the stuff I miss. I miss coming home and getting a text from someone special saying I can't wait to see you tonight and the date I planned for us.
Instead I'm dealing with doing 2-3 different things a day to not just be absolutely bored. Really, I get bored single. I've been single so much of my life that most of the time I'm over it, but I can't control when someone comes in my life, so I have to continue faking it till I make it.
honest. I am friends with a guy on facebook who I've hung out with a few This guy is literally doing something different everyday, and he post on ton of facebook to show potential women how "interesting" it is; however, it's really not getting him any dates or any women serious about him.
What you describe about your buddy doesn't make him sound interesting, it comes across as he's on the go so much that he may not have time to date.
IMO, being involved in 10 different activities/hobbies/sports isn't all going to appeal to one woman. Besides, he's showcasing what he does, not who he is as a person. I care more about who a guy is, how he relates to me, how he treats me, than whether he does rock climbing, fishing, plays baseball and soccer, does photography, and is into woodworking and restoring old cars, and I don't think I'm alone with that thought.
Absolutely not, I have the greatest lady in my life I could have. We just celebrated our 25th anniversary. My single life both before and after my joke of a first marriage was lonely. I never was a bed hopper and just wouldn't put up with the games and lies off the ladies.
...as a single guy who just spent last night playing Jenga with 3 lesbians, and being bought free drinks from a married couple, and I'm going on a all-day motorcycle ride tomorrow, and I'm going to a burlesque show tuesday, and really none of this stuff would conceivably happen if I was married and doing the suburbian christian thing.
None of this stuff would have been attainable to a single person in my position (and I'm not a Christian). A single-person living a life of ceaseless parade of entertainments and distractions, which include social interactions and so forth, wouldn't be missing the supposed joys of domesticity. It's in the absence of such things that one seriously longs for the married-side.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Auraliea
I have to admit...as a single person....it definitely is exhausting because you have to constantly find things to keep yourself from feeling lonely or out of place because you are not in a relationship. ...
My days are quite replete with activities of one form of another, but not like SUPbud's. They consist mainly of working, exercising, reading and household chores. Business-travel, which has been extensive, falls under "working". The problem is less of a feeling of loneliness from insufficient activity, than of a gnawing sense of missing something crucial and profound. It's the sense of an archeologist digging and digging through successive strata, but not finding the sought-after relics. Thus the association with "envy". It's not an envy of particular people that one sees, of couples caressing each other in public and so forth. Rather, it's the envy of an ideal, of what ought in principle to be... but in our current reality is not.
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